In this episode, we use the Sexual Values Questionnaire to explore our own sexual values. Brandon shares his experiences learning about sex and gender through sport, family and (Catholic) school and I share my memories of what I learned about sex growing up. We don’t complete the full exercise, so it will be continued in next week’s episode.

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TL;DR: Your Sexual Values Deserve Attention And Reflection

Most of us learned about sex from shaky sources: locker rooms, pulpits, porn, and poorly xeroxed school handouts.

Your sexual values matter. They shape what sex means to you (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and influence everything from desire to compatibility.

Start reflecting with these prompts:

What did you learn about sex growing up?

What values feel true to you now?

What do you want from sex, emotionally, physically, spiritually?

How do you want to feel before, during & after sex?

How do you expect sex to evolve over time?

Our takeaways:

Brandon’s Catholic school and sports culture = shame + silence.

Jess got body-positive messaging later, but still absorbed “chaste girl” scripts.

Sexual values are fluid and they grow as you grow.

Support your reflections with sensation:

We-Vibe Nova 2 for blended g-spot + clitoral stimulation

We-Vibe Melt for couples craving oral-style intensity

Dig deeper in your body & mind:

Our Mindful Sex Course offers guided reflection and pleasure-focused practices.

Craving more connection? Try:

How to Talk About Fantasies Without Feeling Weird

Overcome Sexual Repression

Bottom line: Sexual values aren’t rules, they’re reflections of your evolving erotic self. Honour them. Share them. Re-write them.

Exploring Your Sexual Values

Many of us are navigating our adult sexual selves using an outdated roadmap written by school boards, religious institutions, sports locker rooms and awkward parental chats. Sound familiar? In this episode, Brandon and I go through the first few questions of the Sexual Values Questionnaire, a tool I often use with clients and groups.

Rather than assuming we’re on the same page about what sex means and how we express it, this activity invites us to step back and consider: What do we really believe about sex? And where did those beliefs come from?

Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, these eleven questions offer an opportunity to explore how your values have been shaped, which ones serve you now, and which you might want to release.

Why Do Your Sexual Values Matter?

Because sexual compatibility isn’t just about positions and preferences, it’s about understanding. And you can’t create meaningful connection without first understanding yourself. This process can be both grounding and liberating.

Feel free to try the Sexual Values Questionnaire on your own or with your partner(s) using the following questions as discussion prompts:

What messages did you receive about sex growing up?

What messages do you wish to retain and which ones do you want to reframe/discard?

What does sex mean to you?

How important is sex to you?