I have no willpower!

How many times have you said this to yourself?

Any time a diet fails or an exercise regimen gets thrown by the wayside, we always blame willpower, don't we? Or our lack of it, I should say. There must be something wrong with us that we just can't stick to a diet. It can't be because we're starving all the time and eating foods that we don't like while completely cutting out the foods we do enjoy, right?

I hope you caught my sarcasm there :). It makes total sense to me why people stop dieting. For most of us, it's miserable. And our body fights against it tooth-and-nail (check out Episode 4 of the podcast to learn why). And many of us are engaged in exercise routines that we can't stand either, so why would we continue with them?

And yet, we're constantly told that we just need to boost our willpower.

But how do you do that???

Well, first of all, you realize that the concept of a willpower is a pretty useless concept.

When we talk about willpower, what we're really talking about is self-control. The expectation is that we set goals for ourselves and then we force ourselves into doing them. That's just not helpful. It's not enjoyable or sustainable either. We, as humans, can't force ourselves into behaving in a certain way for long periods of time. We just can't.

And when we constantly try to control our behaviors, and therefore our parts, our parts rebel. They don't like just being controlled (why would they?). They want to be heard and understood, not manhandled.

On today's episode we're talking about the concept of willpower from an IFS and a research perspective. We talk about how strong-arming our parts just doesn't work and what to do instead. I also give you some suggestions on ways to boost your willpower that are backed by research but that also fit into an IFS approach. Things like:

1. Slowing your breathing
2. Exercising
3. Managing your stress
4. Stabilizing your blood sugar
5. Taking the moralizing out of your behavior
6. Increasing self-compassion

Books:

No Bad Parts, Dick Schwartz, Ph.D.

The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McConigal

Where to find me:

yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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