Let me ask you this:  have you ever noticed yourself heading for the kitchen to get some food, knowing you aren't hungry, and when you start to check in with the part who's leading you there, you hear something like, "Oh don't do that crazy IFS stuff--just eat the food."  Or, "Ugh--who cares why we're heading to food--just eat it!"  Or even, "Life is so stressful right now--just eat!  We deserve it!"

These are parts that I call "blocking parts."  They jump in and block us from getting curious about the parts of us that lead us to food.  And I think sometimes we don't recognize them as parts--they just hijack us, and before we know it, we've already finished the pint of ice cream.

On this week's podcast episode, we're exploring these blocking parts and looking at some of the common themes behind them.  And we're talking about what to do about them:  you guessed it--get to know them!  These parts are protecting you, and it's incredibly helpful to find out why.  And once you get to know them, they're likely to soften back so that you can get to know the part that was leading you to food.  

Take a listen!

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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Here we are, in the middle of the holiday season, and I thought it might be helpful to go back to the basics of the Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast and talk about, you guessed it, emotional eating.  Yep, it's been 94 episodes since we've focused on this topic.  Well, that's not exactly true.  We've focused on specific aspects of emotional eating, but we haven't discussed it in broad terms like we did in the second episode of this podcast.

And I don't know about you, but I know my emotional eating parts have been more active lately.  Due to the holidays and the recent election here in the US, my parts that like to soothe with food have been more present.  

So I thought it might be helpful to do a review of the topic of emotional eating.  In this week's podcast episode, we're focusing on:

• What is emotional eating?
• Why parts choose food as their coping mechanism
• The most common emotional reasons that parts turn to food
• What to do about emotional eating
• Getting to know your eating parts--and who they're protecting

We also talk about examples of how all of this works, and I share some resources to help.  So if you've noticed heading to food more often these days, take a listen!

IFS Meditations

IFS Cheat Sheets

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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This week's episode features Dr. Jeanne Catanzaro, who's a bit of an IFS rockstar.  Jeanne has been one of the strongest voices in the IFS community in regard to food and body concerns, and I'm so thrilled to have her on the podcast!

Just a little about her:  Jeanne is a clinical psychologist who has specialized in the treatment of disordered eating and trauma for over twenty-five years. She trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing®, and eye movement-desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) before discovering the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. Jeanne is known for her compassionate and intuitive appreciation of the relational dynamics, internal and external, that keep people stuck in painful relationships with food and their bodies. In addition to serving as a leader of the IFS Institute, Jeanne facilitates IFS consultation groups, workshops, and retreats on Unburdened Eating.

Jeanne is also the author of Unburdened Eating, a wonderful book that just came out earlier this year.  And she also wrote a really fantastic article for the IFS Institute (that we discuss in this episode) called IFS's Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm.  This article explicitly states that the IFS Institute does not support intentional weight loss due to the harm it can cause.  

Throughout this week's episode, Jeanne and I touch upon:

• The differences between IFS and other therapy models in how they approach food and body concerns
• How diet culture perpetuates the belief that there’s something wrong with your body
• The fact that all negative feelings about the body come from outside of us
• The importance of being curious toward our parts
• Having compassion toward all of our parts, including those who are trying to manage our bodies by focusing on food and weight
• What is “unburdened eating”
• The need for community when working on food and body concerns

Jeanne also gives us some great advice in terms of how to start working on food and body concerns.  She suggests that we ask ourselves the following questions:

• What would it be like if I wasn’t always trying to fix my body? 
• What would it be like if I wasn’t always criticizing my body? 
• What if my body wasn’t a problem to be solved? 
• Can I get curious about the parts of me that feel like my body needs to change? 

You might have already noticed parts surfacing just by reading those questions.  When you can, take some time to really sit with and answer them.  

We cover a lot of important ground in this episode, and I'm just thrilled and honored to have one of the best on my show.  A huge thanks to Jeanne for taking the time and for all of the wisdom she imparts.  Check it out! 

Where to find Jeanne:

Website

Unburdened Eating

IFS's Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm

Other resources that were mentioned:

Center for Body Trust

The Body is Not an Apology

Journeys of Embodiment

Where to find me:

Website

Well, it's fall here in New England, which means cooler weather, absolutely beautiful trees, and apple cider!  (And for those of you who love it, pumpkin spice!)  It also means lots and lots of raking is in my future!  

And it also means sweater weather!!!!  Yay!!!  So many of my parts love sweater weather.  Throwing on a big cable-knit sweater just feels so cozy.  And I just love fall colors (especially forest green--I can't tell you how many forest green sweaters I have).

But do you know another reason why some of my parts love sweater weather?  Because I can hide under sweaters.  Especially ponchos--you can't really tell what my body looks like under a poncho.  And some of my parts are really happy about that. 

In my last podcast episode, Amy Pershing shared her incredible wisdom about Binge Eating Disorder.  She also touched on the topic of body shame.  And since healing body shame is, in my opinion, one of the most difficult aspects of this type of work, I thought we should continue the discussion.  

In this week's podcast episode, we're exploring all aspects of body shame, starting with what it is (spoiler alert--it's not just negative body image).  We move into a discussion about the difference between parts of us who carry shame about our body (generally exiles) and parts who shame our body as a way of trying to help us (protector parts).  Finally, we end the episode on how to start healing body shame.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone's body shame disappear.  At the very least, I wish I could promise you that this is a quick, easy process.  Unfortunately though, I can't.  But I absolutely do think it's possible to release a lot of this shame and feel much better about and comfortable within your body.  And hopefully, this week's podcast episode will help!  Take a listen!

On today's episode, I'm so excited to be joined by Amy Pershing to talk about Binge Eating Disorder (BED).  Amy is essentially THE expert on treating BED with IFS, and I'm so thankful that she's sharing her wisdom with us!  We've been trying for months to record an episode, and we finally did it!

Just a little about her, Amy Pershing, LMSW, ACSW, CCTP-II, is the Founding Director of Bodywise, the first BED-specific treatment program in the United States, and President of the Board of the Center for Eating Disorders in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  She is the founder of Pershing Consulting, which offers training to clinicians treating BED and trauma worldwide. Amy is also the co-founder of "Attune", an online coaching program for attuned eating and recovery support.

Amy is an internationally known leader in the development of treatment paradigms for BED, and one of the first clinicians to specialize in BED treatment. Based on 35 years of clinical experience, Amy has pioneered an approach to BED recovery that is strengths-based and trauma informed, incorporating Internal Family Systems (IFS) and body-based techniques to heal the deeper issues that drive binge behaviors. Her approach integrates a non-diet body autonomy philosophy, helping clients create lasting change with food and body image.

Amy is also the author of the book Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond (Taylor and Francis, 2018) and Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook, with co-authors Judith Matz and Christy Harrison (PESI Publishing, 2024). She also offers a variety of trainings on BED treatment through PESI. Amy maintains her clinical practice in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Amy begins the podcast episode by discussing her own history with binge eating disorder and how, thanks to the relentless messages from diet culture, she believed that her body "needed to be fixed because it was fat."  

Throughout the episode, we touch upon:

• How IFS views Binge Eating Disorder
• The role of Binge Eating parts
• Shame as a coping mechanism
• How to build trust between Self and parts
• What Self-led eating looks like
• Developing trust in your body

Amy also emphasizes the fact that Self cannot be damaged by trauma, and Self does not accept body shame narratives.  She states, “There’s never a time that you’re in-Self and accepting a body shame narrative. It just doesn’t happen. Self knows that body shame doesn’t exist.”

We ended the episode speaking directly to therapists, both those who work with food and body issues and those who don't.  Amy noted that all therapists are working with clients who live in a body and we're therefore all working with body stigma to some degree.  She further notes that all clinicians really need to think about how their parts feel about their own body, food, weight stigma, and health.  

And finally, she states, "If you treat BED, you’re treating trauma.  We have to understand the binge eating in the context of their history."

Amy gives us so many pearls of wisdom in this episode that you'll want to listen to it more than once (and take notes).  Even if you aren't someone who binges, how she talks about body shame is applicable to everyone in a body.  Take a listen!

Where to find Amy:

The Bodywise Program

Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond 

Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook

Where to find me:  

drkimdaniels.com

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If you're someone who's done your own IFS work, you were likely encouraged to check in with a part that you met during your session on your own regularly throughout the week.  And you may have thought, how in the world do I do that?  Hopefully, the therapist or coach you're working with helped you with that process.  But if they didn't, you're in luck!  It's the topic of this week's podcast!

While checking in with parts that you meet during session is incredibly important, so is checking in with parts in general.  And one of the things that I've been focusing on more with clients these days is developing a regular parts check-in practice.  In all of the IFS training that I've done, I've never really been taught how to do this, which is kind of strange, given its importance.

What do mean by a check-in process?  I mean taking the time to deliberately check in with parts.  This is different than noticing parts as they come up for you and/or blend with you throughout the day.  While noticing parts in the moment is incredibly important, so is creating time and space to check in with your parts who may not be particularly active at that moment.  

Creating and maintaining a check-in process is a vital aspect of connecting with parts, developing trust, and sustaining change.  Which is why we're talking about this topic on this week's podcast episode.  Specifically, we're covering:

• How to create a regular check-in process
• What parts to focus on during your check-in 
• Why a regular check-in process is so important
• What to do if you aren't consistent with the practice

I also share some resources, i.e. workbooks and journals, below.  

If you've had a tough time creating a check-in process--or if you're just learning that this is important--take a listen!

Resources:

Journal Back to Self, Tara Hedman

Daily Parts Meditation Practice, Michelle Glass

The One Inside, Tammy Sollenberger

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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On this week's podcast episode we're talking about anxiety, one of the most common things that lead our parts to food.  Very often, parts in our system use food to calm our anxious parts.  I think this happens for a couple of reasons.  First, food can be a great distraction when we're feeling anxious.  And second, food actually calms us down.  Research has shown that food (especially carbs) elevates serotonin levels, which can decrease depression and anxiety.

So if you're someone who tends to eat when you're anxious, there's a reason for that.  It works.  

And I think it's really important to understand anxiety so that it doesn't always lead us to food.  So, on today's episode we talk about anxiety in a number of ways:

• the heritability of anxiety
• the concept of anxiety as a legacy burden--and how to know if this is true for you
• why parts experience anxiety
• how and why parts use food to manage anxiety

We also get into what to do about all of this (spoiler alert:  get to know your parts!).  If you're someone who experiences anxiety (and I know I am), I hope this one's helpful for you!

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word acceptance?  As in accepting who you are and accepting your body, right here, right now?

For many if not most people, the thought of acceptance brings up parts saying, "No!  I won't give up!"  Or, "I can't acceptance myself the way I am--I'm not good enough."

Yeah....acceptance is really hard....Which is why we're discussing it on this week's podcast.

First, let me just say that I think working toward acceptance needs to happen on multiple fronts, because there are numerous factors that contribute to the negative feelings so many of us have toward our bodies.  How we feel about our bodies is shaped by how we personally experience them, how others treat them, the messages we get about them, how they function, how much they differ from others--the list goes on and on.  I can't cover all of that on just one podcast--it would be 57 hours long.   

So on this week's episode, we're just focusing on one factor that contributes to our negative body image and our difficulty accepting ourselves.  And I think it's one of the main factors:  the beauty industry.  Thanks to the beauty industry, most of us have spent time, energy, and money focused on our appearance.  And it's really impacted how we feel about ourselves and our bodies (and others' bodies) in an extremely negative way.

In this episode, I'm sharing a lot of research completed by Dr. Renee Engeln, a psychologist who focuses on what she calls the "Beauty Game."  She wrote a fantastic book called "Beauty Sick:  How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women" that's chock full of information on this topic.  She's also done a couple of TED Talks on the subject, and she contributes regular articles to Psychology Today.  

Just to give you a little idea of what we're up against, here are some research findings on the topic:

• 34% of five-year-old girls engage in deliberate dietary restraint at least sometimes (yes, you read that right--five-year-old girls)
• Between the ages of five and nine, 40% of girls say they wish they were thinner
• Almost one-third of third-grade girls report they are “always” afraid of becoming fat
• By age 13, girls report significantly more body shame than boys
• In the United States 69-84% of women experience body dissatisfaction, desiring to be a lower weight than they currently are

Unfortunately, all of that isn't even the half of it.  The bad news goes on and on and on and on.  The beauty industry (and the diet industry) have wreaked so much havoc on women in particular that it's no wonder we have such a hard time feeling good about ourselves.  

Here's a quote by Dr. Engeln that speaks to some of this:  

"The more easily identifiable you are as a woman, the more you will be objectified. The more you are objectified, the more your body will begin to feel like a performance piece instead of the home in which you live."

Our bodies should feel like our homes.  We should want to care for and nourish them well.  But thanks to the pressures we experience about our appearance, we often don't.  

My hope in focusing on this topic is that parts of you will really start realizing that any negative thoughts and feelings you have about your body and your appearance are not authentic to you.  They're internalized messages from our appearance-obsessed culture.  They're learned.  Which means they can be unlearned.

So, on this week's podcast we're looking at lots of research, and we're also talking about:

• What acceptance actually IS (it's NOT just giving up)
• What the "Beauty Game" is (defined by Dr. Engeln as a collection of cultural pressures that make women feel like all that matters is how they look)
• The impact of the media on our self-image
• The link between beauty and power

I also give you ten ways to start working toward exiting the Beauty Game and working toward acceptance.  

I'm not gonna lie--I personally think this is an important episode, because so many of our parts think that the negativity we feel toward ourselves is justified and valid.  IT'S NOT.  It's been cultivated by an industry that makes tons of money off of our insecurity.  I think it's incredibly important for your parts to have the correct information on this, so I hope you'll take a listen!  Check it out!

Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Thinness Hurts Girls and Women

Dr. Engeln’s Psychology Today articles

The Beauty Game TED Talk

An Epidemic of Beauty Sickness TED Talk

Where to Find Me:

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On this weeks' podcast episode, we're talking about restriction. This is a topic that I know I've mentioned a number of times on the show, but I've never talked about it in depth. And given how common it is, it's about time that I do.

What comes to mind when you think about the word "restriction" (as it relates to food)?  For me, I tend to think about the diagnosis of anorexia.  I picture someone who's not eating nearly enough to sustain their body.  Someone who has parts that are terrified of eating or of weight gain.  Someone who's body is breaking down due to a lack of nourishment.  You might picture the same.

But I think that's a very narrow idea of what restriction often looks like.  

While certainly there are folx who are engaging in that level of restriction (research shows that up to 4% of women and up to .3% of men are diagnosed with anorexia at some point in their lifetime), many, many people restrict their food intake to a lesser degree.  And I think many of those people don't really even realize that how they're eating would be considered restrictive.   

For example, dieting is actually restriction.  So is not eating certain foods or limiting how much of those foods you're eating.  Restriction is also believing that you need to earn food with exercise.  Or counting out exactly 19 grapes (or whatever the "correct" serving size of grapes might be) regardless of how hungry you are.  And there are probably dozens upon dozens of other examples of restriction that we don't typically think of as restriction.

At this point, you may be thinking, "Hey--I do some of those things--so what?  That's normal."  Well, you're right--it is normal in our culture to engage in restrictive eating behaviors.  But should it be?  

To me, restrictive eating behaviors aren't Self-led.  And in my humble opinion, being Self-led with food as what we're aiming for.  I truly believe that our Self wants our body to be nourished and healthy.  And I don't believe that Self supports restricting.  Which means that restriction comes from our parts.

Let me say that again:  restrictive eating comes from our parts.

And on this week's episode, we talk about the four most common reasons that our parts restrict food:

• Restriction is seen as "normal" and desirable in our culture
• To lose weight, maintain weight, or prevent weight gain
• As a means of controlling the chaos in one's life
• To feel special

We also talk about what restriction is (i.e. it's not just anorexia), what it can look like, and how our protectors use restriction to protect exiles.  Quick example:  say you have an exile who carries body shame from being told that your body is too large.  This exile may be protected by a part who works really hard at trying to lose weight, thinking that if your body is just smaller that exile would no longer feel shame.

If you know you have parts that restrict food (or are now curious about whether or not you do), take a listen to this week's episode.  My hope is that you'll have a much better understanding of--and appreciation for--these restricting parts.  Take a listen!

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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On this week's podcast, we're talking about something that I haven't talked much about at all on the show:  sexuality.  Thankfully, since this is not my speciality, I'm joined by Esther Hooley, a psychologist who presented a really informative workshop that I attended a few months ago on sexuality and eating concerns.  

Esther is a psychologist in Waco, TX and practices telehealth across the U.S.  She has been a therapist for over a decade and has worked in group practices, university counseling centers, IOP/PHP for eating disorders, and private practice.  Esther has spent the past three years receiving advanced training and supervision in sex therapy.  This, coupled with her early training in trauma and spirituality, has led her to find her therapy "home" at the intersection of sexuality, trauma, and spirituality.  Esther recently finished writing her first book, Embracing Erotic Wholeness: From Shame to Curiosity, on sexuality and purity culture. 

On this episode, we started our conversation on what exactly is sexuality.  We then went on to discuss such topics as:

• What shapes one's sexuality
• Common myths about sexuality, including:
  • The frequency of sex (i.e. believing "everyone is having sex all of the time, and they're having more than I'm having")
  • The myth of spontaneous desire
  • Feeling responsible for sexually satisfying one's partner
  • One's sexual and gender orientations are fixed
  • Myths about sexual satisfaction 
• The connection between shame and restriction
• How to become more embodied during sexual experiences

Esther also talked about the Good-Enough Sex Model, a model of sexuality created by Barry McCarthy that she uses with clients.  Here's the link to a podcast episode with the creator of the model.

We also talked about Purity Culture, a "painful, powerful" movement that came about in the 1990s that created a set of rules surrounding sex and sexuality.  Esther noted that Purity Culture "really divided people from themselves and their wants and even their higher power."  And again, she's written a new book on the topic--head here to check it out!

Esther shared how she helps people get unstuck in their sexuality and look at "what are the things I'm scared of looking at, and feeling, and experiencing when it comes to sexuality."  She suggested looking at the "sexual script" you were given and really noticing what actually fits for you and what doesn't.  She gave the example of herself being told that women should be submissive and quiet, and that their job is to give their bodies for other peoples' pleasure and use.  She reevaluated this script for herself and created a new narrative.  Within this process, she asked a great question:

"If I knew everything would be ok, what would I want?"

And finally, we talked about what therapists can do to feel more comfortable discussing sexuality with our clients (which of course starts with our own work!).  Esther suggested asking clients the questions that began this email: 

• What's your relationship with your sexuality?
• What's your relationship with your body?
• What's your relationship with pleasure?

This is such an important topic, and I'm so thankful to Esther for coming onto the show to discuss it.  Take a listen!

Where to find Esther:

Website

Her book: Embracing Erotic Wholeness: From Shame to Curiosity

Books Esther mentions:

Come as You Are

The Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook

Good-Enough Sex interview with Barry McCarthy 

Where to find me:

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

Instagram

TikTok