I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that at some point in your life, you've tried to change what you're eating.  Perhaps because you started a diet.  Or you were trying to "eat healthier."  Or maybe you were trying to move toward a more Self-led or Intuitive Eating approach to food (where you're really tuning into your body and feeding your body in ways that work well for it).

Regardless of why you were trying to change what you were eating, it probably wasn't all that easy.  There may have been foods that you tried to cut out but couldn't, foods that you stopped eating but found yourself dreaming of, or even foods that you restricted and then binged on.

And there are likely a few different reasons for this, the first being that our parts like certain foods--and they miss those foods!  But they may also like the rituals that you have surrounding those foods.  The shopping, the preparing, the anticipation, the cooking, the aroma that fills your kitchen.  Or perhaps the evening at your favorite restaurant where you feel cared for and attended to.  Or maybe even the gatherings with friends, where everyone brings their favorite dishes and you get to eat things you've never tried before.

All of those rituals have an impact on our parts.  And when we lose them, our parts can feel real grief.

On this week's podcast, we're talking about these food rituals and the impact they can have.  Sure, our parts can get very attached to specific foods, but they also get attached to all of the rituals surrounding food.  And I think it can be really helpful to get curious about these rituals.  

In fact, it might be helpful to think about your favorite foods and/or the ones you have a hard time changing (even when you know they don't sit well with your body).  Is it the food itself that's hard to give up?  Or is it everything else?  

Take a listen, and try to get curious!

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

[email protected]

CE Course:  Unburdened Bites:  Helping Your Clients Heal Their Relationships with Food and Body Using IFS

On the last podcast, we talked about "blocking parts." And by blocking, I meant parts that tend to come up when you’re trying to get to know another part. Like when you’re headed for the kitchen and a part of you says, "I should get to know the part that’s leading me to the kitchen right now" but another part comes up and says, "Nope!  I don’t want to get to know that part. I’ll do it next time."  I hope that the episode was helpful and that you noticed more of those parts over the past couple of weeks.

This week, I thought it would be helpful to focus on another group or cluster of parts that many folx have that I’m calling "disconnecting parts."  These are parts that disconnect you from your body for various reasons.  They can show up in various ways, such as:  

• Not feeling hunger or fullness cues
• Not noticing physical cues from your body
• Having difficulty knowing where parts are within your body
• Difficulty or reluctance to focus on physical self-care
• Inability to experience enjoyment or pleasure

Those are just a few examples.  You may be noticing other ways in which parts may disconnect you from your body.  If that's the case, just be curious.  Disconnecting parts tend to be protectors who for whatever reason feel the need to separate us from what our body is telling us.  They're trying to help us.

On this week's podcast, we're focusing on the parts that disconnect us from our body and make it difficult to connect with hunger and fullness cues.  We're focusing on:

• What disconnecting parts are
• Why they're there
• How they show up and block hunger and fullness cues
• What to do about them

AND

I'm sharing some suggestions from Intuitive Eating that can help you connect to your body even more.  We go through four exercises from the Intuitive Eating Workbook that help you to tune into your body as well as your hunger and fullness cues.

If you're someone who feels as though you're unable to read your body's cues, you may have some disconnecting parts in your system. Take a listen to find out!  

Intuitive Eating Workbook

Intuitive Eating Book

Where to find me:

Website

Let me ask you this:  have you ever noticed yourself heading for the kitchen to get some food, knowing you aren't hungry, and when you start to check in with the part who's leading you there, you hear something like, "Oh don't do that crazy IFS stuff--just eat the food."  Or, "Ugh--who cares why we're heading to food--just eat it!"  Or even, "Life is so stressful right now--just eat!  We deserve it!"

These are parts that I call "blocking parts."  They jump in and block us from getting curious about the parts of us that lead us to food.  And I think sometimes we don't recognize them as parts--they just hijack us, and before we know it, we've already finished the pint of ice cream.

On this week's podcast episode, we're exploring these blocking parts and looking at some of the common themes behind them.  And we're talking about what to do about them:  you guessed it--get to know them!  These parts are protecting you, and it's incredibly helpful to find out why.  And once you get to know them, they're likely to soften back so that you can get to know the part that was leading you to food.  

Take a listen!

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Here we are, in the middle of the holiday season, and I thought it might be helpful to go back to the basics of the Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast and talk about, you guessed it, emotional eating.  Yep, it's been 94 episodes since we've focused on this topic.  Well, that's not exactly true.  We've focused on specific aspects of emotional eating, but we haven't discussed it in broad terms like we did in the second episode of this podcast.

And I don't know about you, but I know my emotional eating parts have been more active lately.  Due to the holidays and the recent election here in the US, my parts that like to soothe with food have been more present.  

So I thought it might be helpful to do a review of the topic of emotional eating.  In this week's podcast episode, we're focusing on:

• What is emotional eating?
• Why parts choose food as their coping mechanism
• The most common emotional reasons that parts turn to food
• What to do about emotional eating
• Getting to know your eating parts--and who they're protecting

We also talk about examples of how all of this works, and I share some resources to help.  So if you've noticed heading to food more often these days, take a listen!

IFS Meditations

IFS Cheat Sheets

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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This week's episode features Dr. Jeanne Catanzaro, who's a bit of an IFS rockstar.  Jeanne has been one of the strongest voices in the IFS community in regard to food and body concerns, and I'm so thrilled to have her on the podcast!

Just a little about her:  Jeanne is a clinical psychologist who has specialized in the treatment of disordered eating and trauma for over twenty-five years. She trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing®, and eye movement-desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) before discovering the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. Jeanne is known for her compassionate and intuitive appreciation of the relational dynamics, internal and external, that keep people stuck in painful relationships with food and their bodies. In addition to serving as a leader of the IFS Institute, Jeanne facilitates IFS consultation groups, workshops, and retreats on Unburdened Eating.

Jeanne is also the author of Unburdened Eating, a wonderful book that just came out earlier this year.  And she also wrote a really fantastic article for the IFS Institute (that we discuss in this episode) called IFS's Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm.  This article explicitly states that the IFS Institute does not support intentional weight loss due to the harm it can cause.  

Throughout this week's episode, Jeanne and I touch upon:

• The differences between IFS and other therapy models in how they approach food and body concerns
• How diet culture perpetuates the belief that there’s something wrong with your body
• The fact that all negative feelings about the body come from outside of us
• The importance of being curious toward our parts
• Having compassion toward all of our parts, including those who are trying to manage our bodies by focusing on food and weight
• What is “unburdened eating”
• The need for community when working on food and body concerns

Jeanne also gives us some great advice in terms of how to start working on food and body concerns.  She suggests that we ask ourselves the following questions:

• What would it be like if I wasn’t always trying to fix my body? 
• What would it be like if I wasn’t always criticizing my body? 
• What if my body wasn’t a problem to be solved? 
• Can I get curious about the parts of me that feel like my body needs to change? 

You might have already noticed parts surfacing just by reading those questions.  When you can, take some time to really sit with and answer them.  

We cover a lot of important ground in this episode, and I'm just thrilled and honored to have one of the best on my show.  A huge thanks to Jeanne for taking the time and for all of the wisdom she imparts.  Check it out! 

Where to find Jeanne:

Website

Unburdened Eating

IFS's Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm

Other resources that were mentioned:

Center for Body Trust

The Body is Not an Apology

Journeys of Embodiment

Where to find me:

Website

Well, it's fall here in New England, which means cooler weather, absolutely beautiful trees, and apple cider!  (And for those of you who love it, pumpkin spice!)  It also means lots and lots of raking is in my future!  

And it also means sweater weather!!!!  Yay!!!  So many of my parts love sweater weather.  Throwing on a big cable-knit sweater just feels so cozy.  And I just love fall colors (especially forest green--I can't tell you how many forest green sweaters I have).

But do you know another reason why some of my parts love sweater weather?  Because I can hide under sweaters.  Especially ponchos--you can't really tell what my body looks like under a poncho.  And some of my parts are really happy about that. 

In my last podcast episode, Amy Pershing shared her incredible wisdom about Binge Eating Disorder.  She also touched on the topic of body shame.  And since healing body shame is, in my opinion, one of the most difficult aspects of this type of work, I thought we should continue the discussion.  

In this week's podcast episode, we're exploring all aspects of body shame, starting with what it is (spoiler alert--it's not just negative body image).  We move into a discussion about the difference between parts of us who carry shame about our body (generally exiles) and parts who shame our body as a way of trying to help us (protector parts).  Finally, we end the episode on how to start healing body shame.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone's body shame disappear.  At the very least, I wish I could promise you that this is a quick, easy process.  Unfortunately though, I can't.  But I absolutely do think it's possible to release a lot of this shame and feel much better about and comfortable within your body.  And hopefully, this week's podcast episode will help!  Take a listen!

On today's episode, I'm so excited to be joined by Amy Pershing to talk about Binge Eating Disorder (BED).  Amy is essentially THE expert on treating BED with IFS, and I'm so thankful that she's sharing her wisdom with us!  We've been trying for months to record an episode, and we finally did it!

Just a little about her, Amy Pershing, LMSW, ACSW, CCTP-II, is the Founding Director of Bodywise, the first BED-specific treatment program in the United States, and President of the Board of the Center for Eating Disorders in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  She is the founder of Pershing Consulting, which offers training to clinicians treating BED and trauma worldwide. Amy is also the co-founder of "Attune", an online coaching program for attuned eating and recovery support.

Amy is an internationally known leader in the development of treatment paradigms for BED, and one of the first clinicians to specialize in BED treatment. Based on 35 years of clinical experience, Amy has pioneered an approach to BED recovery that is strengths-based and trauma informed, incorporating Internal Family Systems (IFS) and body-based techniques to heal the deeper issues that drive binge behaviors. Her approach integrates a non-diet body autonomy philosophy, helping clients create lasting change with food and body image.

Amy is also the author of the book Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond (Taylor and Francis, 2018) and Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook, with co-authors Judith Matz and Christy Harrison (PESI Publishing, 2024). She also offers a variety of trainings on BED treatment through PESI. Amy maintains her clinical practice in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Amy begins the podcast episode by discussing her own history with binge eating disorder and how, thanks to the relentless messages from diet culture, she believed that her body "needed to be fixed because it was fat."  

Throughout the episode, we touch upon:

• How IFS views Binge Eating Disorder
• The role of Binge Eating parts
• Shame as a coping mechanism
• How to build trust between Self and parts
• What Self-led eating looks like
• Developing trust in your body

Amy also emphasizes the fact that Self cannot be damaged by trauma, and Self does not accept body shame narratives.  She states, “There’s never a time that you’re in-Self and accepting a body shame narrative. It just doesn’t happen. Self knows that body shame doesn’t exist.”

We ended the episode speaking directly to therapists, both those who work with food and body issues and those who don't.  Amy noted that all therapists are working with clients who live in a body and we're therefore all working with body stigma to some degree.  She further notes that all clinicians really need to think about how their parts feel about their own body, food, weight stigma, and health.  

And finally, she states, "If you treat BED, you’re treating trauma.  We have to understand the binge eating in the context of their history."

Amy gives us so many pearls of wisdom in this episode that you'll want to listen to it more than once (and take notes).  Even if you aren't someone who binges, how she talks about body shame is applicable to everyone in a body.  Take a listen!

Where to find Amy:

The Bodywise Program

Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond 

Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook

Where to find me:  

drkimdaniels.com

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If you're someone who's done your own IFS work, you were likely encouraged to check in with a part that you met during your session on your own regularly throughout the week.  And you may have thought, how in the world do I do that?  Hopefully, the therapist or coach you're working with helped you with that process.  But if they didn't, you're in luck!  It's the topic of this week's podcast!

While checking in with parts that you meet during session is incredibly important, so is checking in with parts in general.  And one of the things that I've been focusing on more with clients these days is developing a regular parts check-in practice.  In all of the IFS training that I've done, I've never really been taught how to do this, which is kind of strange, given its importance.

What do mean by a check-in process?  I mean taking the time to deliberately check in with parts.  This is different than noticing parts as they come up for you and/or blend with you throughout the day.  While noticing parts in the moment is incredibly important, so is creating time and space to check in with your parts who may not be particularly active at that moment.  

Creating and maintaining a check-in process is a vital aspect of connecting with parts, developing trust, and sustaining change.  Which is why we're talking about this topic on this week's podcast episode.  Specifically, we're covering:

• How to create a regular check-in process
• What parts to focus on during your check-in 
• Why a regular check-in process is so important
• What to do if you aren't consistent with the practice

I also share some resources, i.e. workbooks and journals, below.  

If you've had a tough time creating a check-in process--or if you're just learning that this is important--take a listen!

Resources:

Journal Back to Self, Tara Hedman

Daily Parts Meditation Practice, Michelle Glass

The One Inside, Tammy Sollenberger

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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On this week's podcast episode we're talking about anxiety, one of the most common things that lead our parts to food.  Very often, parts in our system use food to calm our anxious parts.  I think this happens for a couple of reasons.  First, food can be a great distraction when we're feeling anxious.  And second, food actually calms us down.  Research has shown that food (especially carbs) elevates serotonin levels, which can decrease depression and anxiety.

So if you're someone who tends to eat when you're anxious, there's a reason for that.  It works.  

And I think it's really important to understand anxiety so that it doesn't always lead us to food.  So, on today's episode we talk about anxiety in a number of ways:

• the heritability of anxiety
• the concept of anxiety as a legacy burden--and how to know if this is true for you
• why parts experience anxiety
• how and why parts use food to manage anxiety

We also get into what to do about all of this (spoiler alert:  get to know your parts!).  If you're someone who experiences anxiety (and I know I am), I hope this one's helpful for you!

Where to find me:

drkimdaniels.com

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What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word acceptance?  As in accepting who you are and accepting your body, right here, right now?

For many if not most people, the thought of acceptance brings up parts saying, "No!  I won't give up!"  Or, "I can't acceptance myself the way I am--I'm not good enough."

Yeah....acceptance is really hard....Which is why we're discussing it on this week's podcast.

First, let me just say that I think working toward acceptance needs to happen on multiple fronts, because there are numerous factors that contribute to the negative feelings so many of us have toward our bodies.  How we feel about our bodies is shaped by how we personally experience them, how others treat them, the messages we get about them, how they function, how much they differ from others--the list goes on and on.  I can't cover all of that on just one podcast--it would be 57 hours long.   

So on this week's episode, we're just focusing on one factor that contributes to our negative body image and our difficulty accepting ourselves.  And I think it's one of the main factors:  the beauty industry.  Thanks to the beauty industry, most of us have spent time, energy, and money focused on our appearance.  And it's really impacted how we feel about ourselves and our bodies (and others' bodies) in an extremely negative way.

In this episode, I'm sharing a lot of research completed by Dr. Renee Engeln, a psychologist who focuses on what she calls the "Beauty Game."  She wrote a fantastic book called "Beauty Sick:  How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women" that's chock full of information on this topic.  She's also done a couple of TED Talks on the subject, and she contributes regular articles to Psychology Today.  

Just to give you a little idea of what we're up against, here are some research findings on the topic:

• 34% of five-year-old girls engage in deliberate dietary restraint at least sometimes (yes, you read that right--five-year-old girls)
• Between the ages of five and nine, 40% of girls say they wish they were thinner
• Almost one-third of third-grade girls report they are “always” afraid of becoming fat
• By age 13, girls report significantly more body shame than boys
• In the United States 69-84% of women experience body dissatisfaction, desiring to be a lower weight than they currently are

Unfortunately, all of that isn't even the half of it.  The bad news goes on and on and on and on.  The beauty industry (and the diet industry) have wreaked so much havoc on women in particular that it's no wonder we have such a hard time feeling good about ourselves.  

Here's a quote by Dr. Engeln that speaks to some of this:  

"The more easily identifiable you are as a woman, the more you will be objectified. The more you are objectified, the more your body will begin to feel like a performance piece instead of the home in which you live."

Our bodies should feel like our homes.  We should want to care for and nourish them well.  But thanks to the pressures we experience about our appearance, we often don't.  

My hope in focusing on this topic is that parts of you will really start realizing that any negative thoughts and feelings you have about your body and your appearance are not authentic to you.  They're internalized messages from our appearance-obsessed culture.  They're learned.  Which means they can be unlearned.

So, on this week's podcast we're looking at lots of research, and we're also talking about:

• What acceptance actually IS (it's NOT just giving up)
• What the "Beauty Game" is (defined by Dr. Engeln as a collection of cultural pressures that make women feel like all that matters is how they look)
• The impact of the media on our self-image
• The link between beauty and power

I also give you ten ways to start working toward exiting the Beauty Game and working toward acceptance.  

I'm not gonna lie--I personally think this is an important episode, because so many of our parts think that the negativity we feel toward ourselves is justified and valid.  IT'S NOT.  It's been cultivated by an industry that makes tons of money off of our insecurity.  I think it's incredibly important for your parts to have the correct information on this, so I hope you'll take a listen!  Check it out!

Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Thinness Hurts Girls and Women

Dr. Engeln’s Psychology Today articles

The Beauty Game TED Talk

An Epidemic of Beauty Sickness TED Talk

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drkimdaniels.com

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