By Kim Daniels
4.8
2020 ratings
The podcast currently has 94 episodes available.
On today's episode, I'm so excited to be joined by Amy Pershing to talk about Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Amy is essentially THE expert on treating BED with IFS, and I'm so thankful that she's sharing her wisdom with us! We've been trying for months to record an episode, and we finally did it!
Just a little about her, Amy Pershing, LMSW, ACSW, CCTP-II, is the Founding Director of Bodywise, the first BED-specific treatment program in the United States, and President of the Board of the Center for Eating Disorders in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She is the founder of Pershing Consulting, which offers training to clinicians treating BED and trauma worldwide. Amy is also the co-founder of "Attune", an online coaching program for attuned eating and recovery support.
Amy is an internationally known leader in the development of treatment paradigms for BED, and one of the first clinicians to specialize in BED treatment. Based on 35 years of clinical experience, Amy has pioneered an approach to BED recovery that is strengths-based and trauma informed, incorporating Internal Family Systems (IFS) and body-based techniques to heal the deeper issues that drive binge behaviors. Her approach integrates a non-diet body autonomy philosophy, helping clients create lasting change with food and body image.
Amy is also the author of the book Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond (Taylor and Francis, 2018) and Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook, with co-authors Judith Matz and Christy Harrison (PESI Publishing, 2024). She also offers a variety of trainings on BED treatment through PESI. Amy maintains her clinical practice in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Amy begins the podcast episode by discussing her own history with binge eating disorder and how, thanks to the relentless messages from diet culture, she believed that her body "needed to be fixed because it was fat."
Throughout the episode, we touch upon:
Amy also emphasizes the fact that Self cannot be damaged by trauma, and Self does not accept body shame narratives. She states, “There’s never a time that you’re in-Self and accepting a body shame narrative. It just doesn’t happen. Self knows that body shame doesn’t exist.”
We ended the episode speaking directly to therapists, both those who work with food and body issues and those who don't. Amy noted that all therapists are working with clients who live in a body and we're therefore all working with body stigma to some degree. She further notes that all clinicians really need to think about how their parts feel about their own body, food, weight stigma, and health.
And finally, she states, "If you treat BED, you’re treating trauma. We have to understand the binge eating in the context of their history."
Amy gives us so many pearls of wisdom in this episode that you'll want to listen to it more than once (and take notes). Even if you aren't someone who binges, how she talks about body shame is applicable to everyone in a body. Take a listen!
Where to find Amy:
The Bodywise Program
Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond
Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
TikTok
If you're someone who's done your own IFS work, you were likely encouraged to check in with a part that you met during your session on your own regularly throughout the week. And you may have thought, how in the world do I do that? Hopefully, the therapist or coach you're working with helped you with that process. But if they didn't, you're in luck! It's the topic of this week's podcast!
While checking in with parts that you meet during session is incredibly important, so is checking in with parts in general. And one of the things that I've been focusing on more with clients these days is developing a regular parts check-in practice. In all of the IFS training that I've done, I've never really been taught how to do this, which is kind of strange, given its importance.
What do mean by a check-in process? I mean taking the time to deliberately check in with parts. This is different than noticing parts as they come up for you and/or blend with you throughout the day. While noticing parts in the moment is incredibly important, so is creating time and space to check in with your parts who may not be particularly active at that moment.
Creating and maintaining a check-in process is a vital aspect of connecting with parts, developing trust, and sustaining change. Which is why we're talking about this topic on this week's podcast episode. Specifically, we're covering:
I also share some resources, i.e. workbooks and journals, below.
If you've had a tough time creating a check-in process--or if you're just learning that this is important--take a listen!
Resources:
Journal Back to Self, Tara Hedman
Daily Parts Meditation Practice, Michelle Glass
The One Inside, Tammy Sollenberger
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
TikTok
On this week's podcast episode we're talking about anxiety, one of the most common things that lead our parts to food. Very often, parts in our system use food to calm our anxious parts. I think this happens for a couple of reasons. First, food can be a great distraction when we're feeling anxious. And second, food actually calms us down. Research has shown that food (especially carbs) elevates serotonin levels, which can decrease depression and anxiety.
So if you're someone who tends to eat when you're anxious, there's a reason for that. It works.
And I think it's really important to understand anxiety so that it doesn't always lead us to food. So, on today's episode we talk about anxiety in a number of ways:
We also get into what to do about all of this (spoiler alert: get to know your parts!). If you're someone who experiences anxiety (and I know I am), I hope this one's helpful for you!
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
TikTok
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word acceptance? As in accepting who you are and accepting your body, right here, right now?
For many if not most people, the thought of acceptance brings up parts saying, "No! I won't give up!" Or, "I can't acceptance myself the way I am--I'm not good enough."
Yeah....acceptance is really hard....Which is why we're discussing it on this week's podcast.
First, let me just say that I think working toward acceptance needs to happen on multiple fronts, because there are numerous factors that contribute to the negative feelings so many of us have toward our bodies. How we feel about our bodies is shaped by how we personally experience them, how others treat them, the messages we get about them, how they function, how much they differ from others--the list goes on and on. I can't cover all of that on just one podcast--it would be 57 hours long.
So on this week's episode, we're just focusing on one factor that contributes to our negative body image and our difficulty accepting ourselves. And I think it's one of the main factors: the beauty industry. Thanks to the beauty industry, most of us have spent time, energy, and money focused on our appearance. And it's really impacted how we feel about ourselves and our bodies (and others' bodies) in an extremely negative way.
In this episode, I'm sharing a lot of research completed by Dr. Renee Engeln, a psychologist who focuses on what she calls the "Beauty Game." She wrote a fantastic book called "Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women" that's chock full of information on this topic. She's also done a couple of TED Talks on the subject, and she contributes regular articles to Psychology Today.
Just to give you a little idea of what we're up against, here are some research findings on the topic:
Unfortunately, all of that isn't even the half of it. The bad news goes on and on and on and on. The beauty industry (and the diet industry) have wreaked so much havoc on women in particular that it's no wonder we have such a hard time feeling good about ourselves.
Here's a quote by Dr. Engeln that speaks to some of this:
"The more easily identifiable you are as a woman, the more you will be objectified. The more you are objectified, the more your body will begin to feel like a performance piece instead of the home in which you live."
Our bodies should feel like our homes. We should want to care for and nourish them well. But thanks to the pressures we experience about our appearance, we often don't.
My hope in focusing on this topic is that parts of you will really start realizing that any negative thoughts and feelings you have about your body and your appearance are not authentic to you. They're internalized messages from our appearance-obsessed culture. They're learned. Which means they can be unlearned.
So, on this week's podcast we're looking at lots of research, and we're also talking about:
I also give you ten ways to start working toward exiting the Beauty Game and working toward acceptance.
I'm not gonna lie--I personally think this is an important episode, because so many of our parts think that the negativity we feel toward ourselves is justified and valid. IT'S NOT. It's been cultivated by an industry that makes tons of money off of our insecurity. I think it's incredibly important for your parts to have the correct information on this, so I hope you'll take a listen! Check it out!
Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Thinness Hurts Girls and Women
Dr. Engeln’s Psychology Today articles
The Beauty Game TED Talk
An Epidemic of Beauty Sickness TED Talk
Where to Find Me:
drkimdaniels.com
TikTok
On this weeks' podcast episode, we're talking about restriction. This is a topic that I know I've mentioned a number of times on the show, but I've never talked about it in depth. And given how common it is, it's about time that I do.
What comes to mind when you think about the word "restriction" (as it relates to food)? For me, I tend to think about the diagnosis of anorexia. I picture someone who's not eating nearly enough to sustain their body. Someone who has parts that are terrified of eating or of weight gain. Someone who's body is breaking down due to a lack of nourishment. You might picture the same.
But I think that's a very narrow idea of what restriction often looks like.
While certainly there are folx who are engaging in that level of restriction (research shows that up to 4% of women and up to .3% of men are diagnosed with anorexia at some point in their lifetime), many, many people restrict their food intake to a lesser degree. And I think many of those people don't really even realize that how they're eating would be considered restrictive.
For example, dieting is actually restriction. So is not eating certain foods or limiting how much of those foods you're eating. Restriction is also believing that you need to earn food with exercise. Or counting out exactly 19 grapes (or whatever the "correct" serving size of grapes might be) regardless of how hungry you are. And there are probably dozens upon dozens of other examples of restriction that we don't typically think of as restriction.
At this point, you may be thinking, "Hey--I do some of those things--so what? That's normal." Well, you're right--it is normal in our culture to engage in restrictive eating behaviors. But should it be?
To me, restrictive eating behaviors aren't Self-led. And in my humble opinion, being Self-led with food as what we're aiming for. I truly believe that our Self wants our body to be nourished and healthy. And I don't believe that Self supports restricting. Which means that restriction comes from our parts.
Let me say that again: restrictive eating comes from our parts.
And on this week's episode, we talk about the four most common reasons that our parts restrict food:
We also talk about what restriction is (i.e. it's not just anorexia), what it can look like, and how our protectors use restriction to protect exiles. Quick example: say you have an exile who carries body shame from being told that your body is too large. This exile may be protected by a part who works really hard at trying to lose weight, thinking that if your body is just smaller that exile would no longer feel shame.
If you know you have parts that restrict food (or are now curious about whether or not you do), take a listen to this week's episode. My hope is that you'll have a much better understanding of--and appreciation for--these restricting parts. Take a listen!
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
TikTok
On this week's podcast, we're talking about something that I haven't talked much about at all on the show: sexuality. Thankfully, since this is not my speciality, I'm joined by Esther Hooley, a psychologist who presented a really informative workshop that I attended a few months ago on sexuality and eating concerns.
Esther is a psychologist in Waco, TX and practices telehealth across the U.S. She has been a therapist for over a decade and has worked in group practices, university counseling centers, IOP/PHP for eating disorders, and private practice. Esther has spent the past three years receiving advanced training and supervision in sex therapy. This, coupled with her early training in trauma and spirituality, has led her to find her therapy "home" at the intersection of sexuality, trauma, and spirituality. Esther recently finished writing her first book, Embracing Erotic Wholeness: From Shame to Curiosity, on sexuality and purity culture.
On this episode, we started our conversation on what exactly is sexuality. We then went on to discuss such topics as:
Esther also talked about the Good-Enough Sex Model, a model of sexuality created by Barry McCarthy that she uses with clients. Here's the link to a podcast episode with the creator of the model.
We also talked about Purity Culture, a "painful, powerful" movement that came about in the 1990s that created a set of rules surrounding sex and sexuality. Esther noted that Purity Culture "really divided people from themselves and their wants and even their higher power." And again, she's written a new book on the topic--head here to check it out!
Esther shared how she helps people get unstuck in their sexuality and look at "what are the things I'm scared of looking at, and feeling, and experiencing when it comes to sexuality." She suggested looking at the "sexual script" you were given and really noticing what actually fits for you and what doesn't. She gave the example of herself being told that women should be submissive and quiet, and that their job is to give their bodies for other peoples' pleasure and use. She reevaluated this script for herself and created a new narrative. Within this process, she asked a great question:
"If I knew everything would be ok, what would I want?"
And finally, we talked about what therapists can do to feel more comfortable discussing sexuality with our clients (which of course starts with our own work!). Esther suggested asking clients the questions that began this email:
This is such an important topic, and I'm so thankful to Esther for coming onto the show to discuss it. Take a listen!
Where to find Esther:
Website
Her book: Embracing Erotic Wholeness: From Shame to Curiosity
Books Esther mentions:
Come as You Are
The Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook
Good-Enough Sex interview with Barry McCarthy
Where to find me:
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
TikTok
On my last podcast episode, Heidi Andersen and I had a fantastic discussion about embodiment and how vital it is to be in your body in order to heal your relationship with it. (If you didn't listen to it yet, check it out here!)
After Heidi and I recorded that episode, I told her she had an open invitation to come back onto the show and expand on anything that we had just discussed. This invitation turned into the idea of her walking me through some embodiment exercises on the show that you could do as well. We immediately scheduled another recording and voila! This week's episode was done!
Just a reminder about Heidi and why she's the perfect person to be talking about this topic. Heidi is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Supervisor, Certified Body Trust® Specialist, Certified Safe and Sound Protocol Provider, Registered Yoga Teacher and Embodiment Specialist. She currently supports clients with Reclaiming Beauty, an outpatient group practice of body-centered psychotherapists specializing in weight inclusive treatment for the intersection of trauma, attachment wounds, and eating disorders through a body liberation lens and somatic approach.
Heidi believes embodiment heals and combines her studies of Somatic Internal Family Systems, Embodied Recovery for Eating Disorders, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and the Center for Body Trust® in her support of her clients. She is also the author of the Reclaiming Beauty Journal and Wisdom Deck, a resource created to support women in building a self-compassionate relationship with their body.
As we discussed in last week's episode, Heidi defines embodiment as:
The ability to land safely in our body in the present moment, just how we are.
For many of us, this takes some practice, patience, and guidance. And this is where Heidi comes in. When we discussed this episode, Heidi told me that she had a "million" embodiment exercises. In the interest of time, she chose to do three.
We start the episode with talking about why it's so important to work toward embodiment. Some of the many reasons for this are:
Noticing how your body can be a resource (this might be news to your parts!)
Learning how your body can help you regulate your nervous system
Helping to shift the "violent" thoughts we tend to send toward our bodies
Feeling comfortable with no longer avoiding your body
Heidi then walks me through three different exercises, checking in with my parts as we go along. It was an insightful experience for me, and I know it will be for you too!
Again, connecting with your body is a necessary part of healing your relationship with it, and I hope that these exercises help you to either begin that journey or further the work you're already doing. Take a listen!
On this week's episode, I'm speaking with Certified Body Trust® Specialist Heidi Andersen about the topic of embodiment, something that she sees as vital to the healing of food and body issues. And in case you're not quite sure how to define embodiment, Heidi describes it as:
The ability to land safely in our body in the present moment, just how we are.
How lovely is that?? Can you image how your food and body issues would just melt away if you experienced this?
Let me back up here for a minute and introduce Heidi to you. Heidi Andersen is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Supervisor, Certified Body Trust® Specialist, Certified Safe and Sound Protocol Provider, Registered Yoga Teacher and Embodiment Specialist. During her therapist career, she has worked as a therapist in residential, PHP, IOP and outpatient levels of care with people struggling with eating disorders.
Heidi currently supports clients with Reclaiming Beauty, an outpatient group practice of body-centered psychotherapists specializing in weight inclusive treatment for the intersection of trauma, attachment wounds, and eating disorders through a body liberation lens and somatic approach.
Heidi also provides consultation, mentorship and consult groups for professionals, as well as trainings, workshops and retreats. Heidi believes embodiment heals and combines her studies of Somatic Internal Family Systems, Embodied Recovery for Eating Disorders, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and the Center for Body Trust® in her support of her clients. She is also the author of the Reclaiming Beauty Journal and Wisdom Deck, a resource created to support women in building a self-compassionate relationship with their body.
As you can see, she really knows what she's talking about!
Heidi and I cover a lot of ground in this episode, but the key takeaway is this: you must heal your relationship with your body in order to heal your relationship with food. I'll let Heidi say it herself:
“You can’t really heal what’s happening in the body unless you really bring the body to the forefront.”
Heidi discusses how previous (and unfortunately current) eating disorder treatment models don't involve the body at all--they're merely focused on the mind. This makes absolutely no sense, since eating disorders are very often a result of body shame and/or a disconnection from the body. Therefore, working on being in your body is a giant piece of the work.
On this episode, Heidi and I also talk about:
We also talk about the three categories of protectors that Heidi tends to see disconnecting us from our bodies. Those are:
As you can see, we covered a lot! Take a listen!
Where to find Heidi:
https://www.reclaimingbeauty.com/
Other links we mentioned:
Center for Body Trust https://centerforbodytrust.com/ Embodied Recovery for Eating Disorders https://embodiedrecovery.org/ Somatic IFS https://www.embodiedself.net/ IFS Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/ifss-viewpoint-dieting-and-cultural-harm Diet Culture as an Attachment Figure https://www.reclaimingbeauty.com/blog/satisfaction-may-not-be-your-until-you-break-it-off-with-diet-culture Killing Us Softly, Then and Now https://youtu.be/MQ3ESVKighs?si=DQP25QWm5Etca2Es Where to Find Me:drkimdaniels.com
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I'll get right to it and be honest. Part of this week's podcast topic--GLP-1 medication--is not something I've really wanted to talk about. These are the medications that we're all hearing about nonstop--the ones that Oprah talked about in her recent special. I haven't wanted to give them much air time, because we hear about them so much everywhere else, and also because I don't really think my opinion on them matters. Although it's true that I have significant concerns about these medications and wish that we could move past weight loss as a goal, I also truly believe in bodily autonomy. If these medications seem right to you, what does it matter what I think of them?
So, I do mention them on this week's podcast, but it's only briefly and it's only to say two things:
Moving on...
What I really wanted to focus on this week is food noise. This is a term you've probably heard about because they tend to talk a lot about it when they talk about GLP-1s. And since it seems like people are always talking about GLP-1s, they're also talking a lot about food noise.
Food noise isn't an official term or diagnosis--I don't know who coined it, but someone did and now that's how we refer to the constant internal chatter about food. This might be your experience: constantly thinking about food. That's food noise. It seems as though medication and even bariatric surgery have been found to quiet or at least decrease food noise in some people. But why is that?
No one really knows (one of my many sarcastic parts just rolled her eyes and said "Of course not..."). Sure, it may be due to some physiological change that the medication or surgery causes, such as a change in hormones related to hunger. But I don't think for one second that it's entirely physical. I think it makes total sense that it's at least a little bit psychological. And of course, that relates to parts.
In this episode, we're talking about the psychological factors that might be at play here in the quieting of food noise. I give you four reasons why I think food noise quiets with medications/surgery (spoiler alert: it's not because of the medication or surgery itself), which leads into a discussion on why you don't need medication or surgery to get food noise to soften.
If you're someone who experiences loud levels of food noise, my heart goes out to you. I know that can be at the very least irritating and at times even debilitating. I can absolutely understand wanting to do whatever it takes to make it stop. Hopefully, this week's podcast can shed some light on how to do that without medication/surgery, or in tandem with them.
I have a question for you. What do you know about your early years? Like from birth to age two? And what do you know about your mom's pregnancy with you?
If you're like me, not a whole lot.
Turns out, though, this is really good information to have. According to this week's podcast guest, Colleen West, these early years and your experiences within have an incredible influence on the development of your relationship with food.
Especially when it comes to the nurturance and attunement given to you by your caretakers. I'll let Colleen explain it herself:
"For babies that don’t get tended to reliably, they end up with more need to autoregulate, to soothe from the outside. And that often gets linked with food. And it begins a whole lot of other behaviors and deep burdens that last long into your life, unless those young parts get cared for."
Did that just resonate with a lot of your parts? I know it did with mine.
Preverbal parts are Colleen's specialty, and I'm thrilled to have her back on the show to take a much deeper dive than we did in our first conversation (catch that episode here). Colleen is all about creating connection: between you and your parts, between you and your loved ones, between you, your community, and the wider world. She is unabashedly optimistic about the human capacity to heal, to tap into the wellspring of compassion that is Self. Her professional focus is healing preverbal attachment trauma.
As a Marriage and Family Therapist and IFS Consultant, she devotes herself to training and mentoring psychotherapists, and writing. Thanks to Zoom, she is training therapists all over the world. She is author of We All Have Parts: An Illustrated Guide to Healing Trauma with Internal Family Systems (2021) and The IFS Flip Chart (2023). She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and the fabulous dog Sky. In her leisure, she likes spending time in nature and preparing feasts for family and friends. More at www.colleenwest.com and www.smarttherapytools.com.
On this week's podcast, Colleen and I talk about how those early years are so important, and how a lack of nurturance and attunement by parents (with even the best of intentions) can lead to the use of food--or the restriction of food--as a soothing mechanism. In the episode, we discuss:
Colleen also leaves us with three important points:
This was truly a wonderful, aha-inducing episode that I know will resonate with your parts. Take a listen!
You can find Colleen at:
www.colleenwest.com
www.smarttherapytools.com
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
TikTok
And if you'd like to take a deep dive into your own relationship with food, considering joining one of my Food and Body Freedom groups for therapists/practitioners and for non-therapists.
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