On this week's episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Diana Dugan Richards, a Nutrition Therapist with a private practice (Namaste Nutrition) in Watertown, MA. As a registered, licensed dietitian for 25 years and nutrition therapist since 2011 and from a springboard of yoga and exercise philosophy, Diana offers nutrition counseling in a weight-neutral approach and sets a foundation of curiosity for clients to discover and shift into their own eating philosophy and beliefs. Diana is also a Certified IFS practitioner and combines her skills in IFS, Ayurveda nutrition, and yoga therapy to guide clients toward achieving integration and balance in their relationship with food.

In other words, she does things very differently than most dietitians!

Diana is a level 3 trained Certified IFS Practitioner and as you'll notice during our discussion, Diana approaches her clients with huge amounts of curiosity and compassion, allowing them to explore the parts of them that are using food in various ways. Diana also talks about what she calls the "erroneous beliefs" that we've all learned from diet culture. She gives the example of, "If you're really hungry, the apple looks good." "When there's a shouldn't we hear inside, there's always a should."

Other points that we discuss:

• The prevalence of polarities within peoples' systems.
• Cultural body ideals and how body diversity "has been with us for centuries"
• Why Intuitive Eating and/or Health at Every Size doesn't work for everyone
• The importance of listening to your body and how Diana works with clients to notice the parts of them that aren't noticing their body's cues

And yes, we talk a little about weight loss and how focusing on that often backfires for people.

Diana is incredibly knowledgeable, open, and curious, and I'm so thankful for the work that she's doing. Take a listen!

Where to find Diana:

Website: https://namastenutrition.net/

Book: Freeing Self: IFS Beyond the Therapy Room

Where to find me:

Therapy website: drkimdaniels.com

Coaching website: yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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We've talked before about how your relationship with food starts on day one. And I used to think of "day one" as being in utero, or even infancy. But I was wrong about that. Your relationship with food has the possibility of starting three generations ago. Like with your grandmother.

Let me explain.

I've been reading the book "It Didn't Start with You," by Mark Wolynn, which you may have read. The book talks about inherited family trauma and how we now know that trauma is passed down through our DNA. There's no way that I can possibly understand how all of that works, but it got me thinking about food. If trauma is passed down, that includes food trauma. And there's not a person on this planet who has an ancestral line that hasn't experienced some type of food trauma, i.e. food scarcity. Which means that you may be carrying some of the trauma of your ancestor's food trauma.

That part isn't actually news--us IFS folks talk about legacy burdens all the time. And we absolutely get handed beliefs and messages about food and bodies from our families. But since food is a basic need that's absolutely necessary for survival, your ancestor's experience with it could very well have gotten passed on to you.

In the book, Mr. Wolynn explains how all of us have been in potential since our grandmother was pregnant with our mothers, since your mother's eggs were being created during your grandmother's pregnancy. So your grandmother's experience with food could have had an impact on you. If she was experiencing scarcity and wasn't able to eat in a nourishing way, that impacted you. And of course your mother. And how your mother's experience with food most definitely had an impact on you as well.

On this week's podcast, we're talking all about how far back this goes, and how it may be influencing your relationship with food now. And we're also talking about how your caregiver's response to your food needs has very likely shaped your relationship with food. For example, if your hunger needs weren't attended to, you may have disconnected from your hunger cues very early on. You may still have difficulty noticing hunger and fullness cues because you had to suppress them for so long.

I find all of this fascinating, and illuminating, and I hope that you do too. Take a listen!

Where to find me:

Therapy website: drkimdaniels.com

Coaching website: yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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Well, Season Two of the Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast is a wrap! In this season, we talked a LOT about IFS (Internal Family Systems) and how it can help you truly understand why you use food the way you do (i.e. binge eating, emotional eating, restricting your food, etc.).

As I'm sure you've noticed, I think IFS is the absolute best way to make any type of long-term change in your eating patterns. That's because it's the only way that I've found that leads you to truly understanding why you're doing what you're doing. Why are you turning to food? Why are you restricting? Why are you so critical toward your body?

With other types of therapeutic modalities, we either focus just on behavior change (which doesn't work), or we make assumptions about why we eat the way we do. We piece together the puzzle, so to speak, and surmise about the underlying causes of our behavior.

But the reality is, until you ask your parts why they do what they do, you don't really know. Sure, you might have a good guess, but you don't know for sure.

On this week's podcast, I give you a personal example of what I mean by this. I share something I recently discovered about why one of my parts turns me to food sometimes. And it's not at all what I ever would've expected. But now that I know, I've been able to work with that part directly, and that part has really calmed down about food.

You have to get to know your parts.

So, as we wrap up Season 2, I want to encourage you to continue being curious toward your parts. It's the only way to heal your relationship with food and finally gain some peace.

I'll be taking a month or so off from podcasting so I'll wish you a very happy fall season, and I'll talk to you soon in Season Three!

Unsure what leads you to–or away from–food? Let's get to know your eating parts! Check out my FREE Eating Parts Cheat Sheets to start understanding what (or should I say who?) leads you to food!

And if you're a therapist, check out my upcoming workshops!

Where to find me:

yourweightisnotyourworth.com

drkimdaniels.com

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Do you ever feel unmotivated?

I know--that question is almost laughable, isn't it? Sometimes I feel like all I ever am is unmotivated. I always have a huge list of the things that I "should" be doing, and somehow it seems like the majority of it doesn't get done.

And then, of course, I have parts that feel guilty for just sitting on the couch.

But thanks to my guest on this week's podcast, I now know that me sitting on the couch is me being motivated: it means I'm motivated to rest! And we all need rest, right??

Motivation is one of those things that I hear people say they struggle with all the time. I think many of us tend to feel that we need motivation in order to get anything done, and that motivation is often elusive. And I sometimes think that we expect motivation to drop down out of the sky.

I don't know about you, but that doesn't seem to happen to me. And this weeks' guest, Dr. Shawn Hondorp, can help us understand why. Shawn is a board-certified Clinical Health Psychologist and health behavior expert. She has a top-rated podcast called Motivation Made Easy: Body Respect, True Health where she outlines effective approaches to improve health and well-being by looking at how research and real world experience collide via conversation and personal stories.

And Shawn is here to talk to us about motivation. In this week's episode we cover different types of motivation, including:

1. External (controlled) Motivation:
   1. when we're changing our behavior in order to appease something or someone outside of us, i.e. trying to lose weight in order to appease your doctor or trying to lose weight in order to fit into society;
   2. when we force ourselves to do something because we don't trust ourselves that we'll consistently do it.
2. Value-Based Motivation: engaging in a behavior that you don't love, but you do it because you value something about it (i.e. choosing to exercise not because you love it, but because of how it helps your body);
3. Intrinsic Motivation: engaging in a behavior simply because you love it.

Not surprisingly, the more intrinsic the motivation, the longer we're likely to stick with something.

Shawn and I also have a conversation about how we both started our careers in the area of weight loss. We both note that we still carry some guilt and shame about it. But thankfully, part of Shawn's work is to meet other helpers where they're at and educate them about the benefits of approaching clients from an anti-diet, weight-neutral approach.

Take a listen!

And head to my therapy practice website for more information on upcoming therapist trainings!

Where to find me:

yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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We've talked a lot over the past year about IFS (Internal Family Systems) and how it can help you to change your relationship with food and your body for the better.

But I know that IFS may still seem a bit "out there," or "woo-woo" for some. Or it might still seem downright confusing.

So luckily, on this week's podcast episode you'll get to hear how it all works, thanks to my guest Natalie Deering. Natalie is a licensed psychological practitioner with a masters in clinical psychology. She is a level 2 trained IFS therapist and has her certifications in meditation instruction and yoga. She is the host of the IFS-informed wellness podcast, "That Wellness Podcast with Natalie Deering," and offers psychotherapy to clients in her private practice in the state of Kentucky.

Natalie gives us the inside scoop on how she got to know some of the parts in her eating system and how they relate to each other. And one is a cute little dancing biscuit! She also shares about a part that was critical toward her body, and how this part expressed itself--not through speaking, but through touch.

Natalie is also trained in meditation, and we talk about how some forms of meditation run counter to one of the goals of IFS: connection. Often, we're taught to push thoughts away from us during meditation in order to clear our minds. In IFS, we see that as pushing away our parts, which is never the goal. Although we ask for space from our parts, we're doing that in the interest of connecting with them. That may sound strange--take a listen to the podcast and I think it will make more sense!

Natalie also shares three meditations that she created and uses for herself and with her clients to help check in with their parts and to access their Self-energy:

1. Office Hours: inviting your parts who need attention to come forward at a given time
2. Scheduled Appointment: setting aside a specific time to check in and spend time with a part
3. Office Space: inviting our parts to give us the space to connect with our Self-energy qualities

Using these meditations on a regular basis can help you to get to know your parts, address their needs, and access your own Self-energy. All wonderful things!

Natalie also reminds us to extend gratitude toward our parts. For the jobs they do, the resources they hold, and the space they're willing to provide you. She suggests saying something like this to our parts:

"To all of my parts, I am grateful for you and your energy. I am grateful for your resource and I am grateful for your trust and for your space."

Such great advice. Take a listen!

Where to find Natalie:

Website

Podcast

Where to find me:

yourweightisnotyourworth.com

Instagram

Facebook page

TikTok

Unsure what leads you to–or away from–food? Let's get to know your eating parts! Check out my FREE Eating Parts Cheat Sheets to start understanding what (or should I say who?) leads you to food!

On last week's podcast, we talked about the common fears and concerns our parts tend to have when making any kind of change. Not surprisingly, when I say "change," I'm specifically referring changing your relationship with food. Doing things like no longer dieting, trying to stop emotional eating, and/or no longer bingeing.

And of course, making the change that I'm hoping we all get to: moving from away from diet culture and embracing a flexible, freeing, Intuitive Eating approach to food.

We all have parts that fear change. That's just us being human. Change is scary, even when it's the best thing for us. Some of our parts like the status quo, even if it's not comfortable. And we need to get to know these parts in order to make any kind of lasting change.

Some of the fears that we discussed in last week's episode were:

• Fear of weight gain

• Fear of failure (what if it doesn't work?)

• Fear of success (what if it does??)

• Fear of losing food as a coping strategy

• Fear of disconnection from family and friends

While all of these fears are very common--and I 'm guessing some of them resonated with you--our parts don't always present as that straightforward. Meaning, they don't waltz in and say, "Kim. I see that you're doing something different. I'd like to talk with you about the concerns I have about that." (Wouldn't it be great if they all did that??)

Our parts aren't always that blunt. And sometimes, they're just plain sneaky (because they're scared of change!).

On this week's episode, we're talking about how these parts may show up for you. Meaning, what are the things you might hear yourself say that indicate you've got a part in there that's carrying some fear of change. Or that's protecting other parts who are scared.

Some examples of this may be parts that say:

• I don't care (just eat the d*mn ice cream!)

• It's too hard to change

• I'll work on that tomorrow

• This IFS sh*t is weird and I'm not doing it!

Fear of change is one of THE biggest reasons that things don't work for us. So it's vitally important that you're aware of and get to know the parts of you that are scared. Take a listen for more details!

Unsure what leads you to–or away from–food? Let's get to know your eating parts! Check out my FREE Eating Parts Cheat Sheets to start understanding what (or should I say who?) leads you to food!

Want to stop dieting but don't know how? Grab my FREE E-Course, "Diets: Why They Don't Work and How to Quit Them for Good" here!

Where to find me:

yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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Facebook page

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If you're like just about everyone else in the world, you've tried to make some changes to your eating habits and have probably been met with limited success. And one of the biggest reasons for this is that parts of you actually didn't want to make those changes.

Let me explain.

When we want to make a change in our behavior--any behavior really--we tend to have parts that want to make that change and parts that don't. For example, you may have parts that are gung-ho about starting that new exercise regimen and parts that are perfectly happy on the couch. Or parts that are psyched about trying out that new cookbook and parts that are more than happy to order Door Dash. And, of course, parts that want to stop emotional eating and parts that don't want to let go of food.

Many times, the parts of us that don't want to change are fearful or concerned about things being different. They're protective parts who don't want us to get hurt, so they will stop us from making changes, even ones that we know will be good for us.

This is why we need to get all (or at least most) of our parts on board when we're trying to make any type of change. Especially the parts that have fears and concerns about doing something different.

Even when we're trying to make changes that we know will be helpful to us, we still have parts that are fearful of change.

On this week's podcast, we're talking about the common fears and concerns that our parts tend to have when we try to change our relationship with food and our bodies. Some of these fears and concerns are:

• Fear of failure: what if this change doesn't work?

• Fear of success: what if it does?

• Fear of losing food as a comfort mechanism

• Fear of gaining or losing weight

• Fear of people noticing and commenting on what you're doing

• Fear of not knowing who you are if you don't struggle with food

The list above is not exhaustive. You likely have parts that have other fears about changing your relationship with food. It's absolutely worth getting to know allllllll of your parts that carry concerns. As we say in IFS (Internal Family Systems), we can't go anywhere that our protectors aren't ready to go, so we must get to know them.

If you've tried to making changes in your relationship with food to no avail, it might be because you haven't addressed the parts that have fears and concerns. Take a listen to learn more!

On this week's podcast, we're talking about the legacy burden of diet culture.

You might be asking, what is a "legacy burden?" Excellent question! According to IFS (Internal Family Systems), we all carry burdens, which are "the negative beliefs, emotions, sensations, or other energies that were absorbed and accumulated from past traumas and other life experiences." In other words, through difficult and traumatic experiences, our parts end up taking on difficult emotions and beliefs.

In addition to picking these up from our own traumatic experiences, burdens can passed on to us from family members (legacy burdens) and/or can be absorbed from the culture at large (cultural burdens).

Dick Schwartz, the founder of IFS, believes that we have four main cultural burdens in the United States:

1. Racism

2. Materialism

3. Individualism

4. Patriarchy

And I think diet culture intersects with all of those, making it a cultural burden as well.

In this week's podcast, we're talking about how diet culture is a cultural burden, and what to do about it. This is something that I talk about a lot with clients, because it's incredibly important for your parts to realize that the messages they took in about food and bodies is not authentic to them. It's mostly not even true! And when our parts can understand that these messages aren't accurate or authentic, they can finally let them go.

Which can change everything.

For example:

• Once you let go of the idea that thin=healthy, you can focus on health markers that actually matter.

• When you let go of the belief that certain foods are morally better than others, you can make food choices based on what your body (and your parts) actually want.

• When you let go of the negative beliefs you carry about your body, you can finally treat it with the compassion and respect it deserves.

Letting go of these messages is definitely worth doing, and this podcast will help you do that!

Sabrina Strings, Fearing the Black Body

Sabrina Strings on Food Psych podcast

Susan Faludi, Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women

Want to stop dieting but don't know how? Grab my FREE E-Course, "Diets: Why They Don't Work and How to Quit Them for Good" here!

Where to find me:

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On this week's podcast episode, we're talking about a difficult subject: trauma.

Unfortunately, trauma impacts most if not all of us. Obviously in widely varying degrees.

Thankfully, there is currently a wealth of information about the topic of trauma. We know more and more these days about how it impacts us and how to treat it.

And one of the things we're learning more and more about is preverbal trauma. This is trauma that occurs essentially from conception to about the age of two. My guest this week specializes in preverbal trauma, and we had an informative, truly enriching conversation about it.

On this week's podcast, I'm talking to Colleen West, LMFT. Colleen is an IFS therapist and consultant whose professional focus is healing preverbal attachment trauma.

Colleen has a wealth of knowledge about preverbal trauma, and her passion for this area is obvious. In the podcast episode, we cover a lot of topics, including:

1. The three types of trauma (single incident trauma, chronic trauma, and complex trauma)
2. How those with complex trauma can present in the therapy room
3. What Colleen calls the "Double Whammy" of preverbal trauma: immense shame and emotional dysregulation
4. How preverbal trauma is often misdiagnosed
5. What questions therapists should be asking about their clients' infancy (and if you're not a therapist, what to ask your parents about your own gestation and infancy)
6. How to tell if you may have experienced preverbal trauma

We also discussed the trauma of diet culture. Yes--diet culture is traumatizing.

As you can see, we discussed a lot!

This episode is geared toward both therapists and non-therapists--it's not full of clinical jargon that non-therapists won't relate to. So if you're not a clinician, no worries--it's still for you!

Again, Colleen is incredibly knowledgeable about this issue, and her warmth and compassion toward those who have experienced trauma is unmistakable.

If you've experienced trauma, I hope that you've found a way to heal from it.

If you're a therapist who treats trauma, I hope that you practice self-care so that it doesn't overwhelm you.

Where to find Colleen:

https://www.colleenwest.com/

https://smarttherapytools.com/

Where to find me:

yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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Last week, I had an amazing discussion with Abbie Attwood about whether or not food is addictive. And we decided that no, it's not.

Well, at least not physically.

But it can be emotionally.

Yes, there's a difference.

While food is not a physically addictive substance, it sure can be emotionally addictive. Meaning that there are parts of us that turn to food to protect us from uncomfortable emotions (especially shame). And when that works--and it does work--we keep going back to it again and again and again.

Said another way, when we're eating food that we enjoy (and even food that we don't), we're temporarily relieved from uncomfortable emotions. And in order to maintain that relief, we have to keep returning to food. It's a cycle that feels addictive because it is.

On this week's podcast, we're talking about how we can become emotionally addicted to food and how IFS (Internal Family Systems) can help. We talk about how food distracts and soothes, and how we have to keep going back to it over and over and over again to get that effect.

We also talk about how restriction and dieting can lead you to feel addicted to food, even though you aren't. Why? Because when we're restricting food, it's literally the forbidden fruit. (Or the forbidden cake.) And the more we restrict this food, the more we want it. And we end up feeling out-of-control and addicted to it.

If you've ever said, "food is my drug of choice," this episode will explain why that is. Take a listen!

Where to find me:

yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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Facebook page

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If this episode resonated with you and you want to explore 1:1 coaching, head here.

Unsure what leads you to–or away from–food? Let's get to know your eating parts! Check out my FREE Eating Parts Cheat Sheets to start understanding what (or should I say who?) leads you to food!

The One Inside, with Tammy Sollenberger.