What does it mean to interact in a secure way from a centered, wise space? According to Dr. Ann Kelley, co-author of Secure Relating and co-host of the popular podcast Therapist Uncensored, we all move in and out of secure and insecure patterns in our relationships. Ann’s modern take on attachment theory moves us from rigid categories into a more dynamic, evolving, and systemic look at our relational patterns.

Listen and learn:

• What is the Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum
• How we borrow each other’s nervous systems
• Why sometimes it’s better to speak in sentences, not essays
• The difference between leaning “red,” “blue,” or “green” when it comes to relating with others
• How our nervous system is shaped by our environment, history, and context

Join us in this episode to discover the key to secure relating: identifying your nervous system’s protective emotional reactions so you can find your way back to connection.

Related Resources

Get enhanced show notes for this episode

• Pre-order my upcoming book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special pre-order bonus gifts.
• Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.

Diana's Events

• Reserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!
• See Diana at an upcoming event

Connecting With Diana

• Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
• Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
• Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.
• Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.
• Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Mentioned in this episode:

Get on my Wise Effort workshop waitlist!

 If you are intrigued about Wise Effort or maybe a retreat wise effort in yoga, how we integrate wise effort into the therapy space, go check out drdianahill.com/workshop and get on my wait list.

I have a number of events that are gonna be coming up in this coming year, including wise effort and yoga with Elyse, you get to see where all the magic happens, and I would love, love, love for you to be there.

So check out my programming and workshops and collaborations at drdianahill.com/workshop

Wise Effort Workshop Waitlist