You Are Not A Frog

How to Cope With Your Kids’ Anxiety, Your Colleagues’, and Your Own


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Confronting anxiety is easier said than done. It’s hard enough with adults, but with children it’s even more tough. Anxiety keeps us safe, but often we over-predict that something bad will happen and under-predict our ability to cope. The key is to learn how to manage anxiety before it becomes a problem.

This week’s guest is educational psychologist Nicky Odgers. She specialises in working with kids who are feeling anxious about attending school. A lot of what she helps kids with applies to adults – things like mapping thoughts and emotions to physical sensations, replacing negative thoughts with more realistic ones, and practicing techniques to help us relax.

Anxiety can interfere with our lives and become a problem if it goes unaddressed. Naturally we want to avoid things that cause us anxiety, but this stops us from learning that we can cope and that the terrible thing we fear may never happen.

Listen to this episode to
  1. Learn about anxiety in children and teenagers, and how it can manifest as school avoidance
  2. Gain insight into how anxiety affects adults, including healthcare professionals, and how to manage it effectively
  3. Understand the thought patterns, physical sensations, and behaviours associated with anxiety, and how to address them to prevent avoidance and build coping skills

Episode highlights
  • [00:03:46] Epidemic of anxiety
  • [00:09:21] Anxiety as pathology
  • [00:14:00] Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and behaviours
  • [00:20:54] Safety behaviours
  • [00:23:26] When is it right to step in and offer help
  • [00:29:18] Anxiety in healthcare
  • [00:31:47] How to persuade someone their fears are unfounded
  • [00:34:35] Mind-reading
  • [00:41:03] Teaching people to solve problems
  • [00:45:14] Worry time and worry monsters
  • [00:47:14] Distracting yourself from worry
  • [00:48:24] Helpful safety behaviour
  • [00:49:52] Helping anxious people
  • [00:52:48] Neurodiversity and autism
  • [00:55:58] Nicky's tips for managing anxiety

About the guest

Nicky Odgers is an educational psychologist with a particular interest in school anxiety. She helps parents and schools to support children and young people to feel less anxious about attending school, to better manage their emotions, to develop their confidence, to initiate and sustain positive relationships and be more successful in their learning.

LinkedIn | Website

Resources
  • THRIVE Weekly Planner
  • Episode 22: The Perils of Perfectionism
  • Episode 181: Get Some Air Cover to Help You Set Boundaries
  • School Anxiety Support for Parents – Facebook group
  • Nicky’s information and resource for parents and schools about school anxiety and EBSA
  • Download Nicky's free handout for children, young people, and parents
  • Starving the Anxiety Gremlin for Children Aged 5-9, by Kate Collins-Donnelly
  • My Anxiety Handbook: Getting Back on Track, by Sue Knowles, Bridie Gallagher, and Phoebe McEwen
  • Books by Poppy O’Neill
  • What to Do When You Worry Too Much, by Dawn Huebner PhD
  • Helping Your Child with Fears and Worries, by Cathy Creswell and Lucy Willetts
  • Get Your Sh*t Together, by Sarah Knight
  • The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, by Sarah Knight
  • Download the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.

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You Are Not A FrogBy Dr Rachel Morris

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