On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people.

In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair. 

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Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs.

7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges

8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points

11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people

15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models

26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication

28:20: Expecting defeat, and two big moments of pain

32:10: Keeping agreements

37:45: Confidence in the ability to repair

39:35: Considering the person on the receiving end of your communication

43:00: Generosity

45:15: Questions to ask when feeling uncertain about how to express a need

49:30: Death by a thousand cuts, and facing discomfort

52:10: Asking others, “What else do you want from me?”

54:30: Recap

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