You Are Not A Frog

How to Get Out of a Toxic Shame Spiral


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We all experience shame from time to time, but when it becomes toxic, we can end up in a shame spiral from which it's difficult to escape. When we’re called out on something about which we feel shameful, it can make us defensive. And so often, no-one can punish us as harshly as we punish ourselves.

In this quick dip episode, Rachel shares her strategy to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset; by sharing our shame, taking some perspective, and seeking support from others. She unpacks her SHAME model that was inspired by a recent spiral, which is a simple five-step framework for working through the sensations of shame and finding a way to be kinder to ourselves.

Shame doesn’t make us better people – it only makes us harder on ourselves and leads to us being defensive. So this episode offers a chance to break free of that spiral, remember that we’re human, and remind ourselves we’re doing our best.

Listen to this episode to
  • Discover how shame can impact our internal mindset and contribute to burnout
  • Learn about the complex nature of shame and how it shows up
  • Explore strategies and techniques to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset

Episode highlights
  • [00:02:09] What's on your pop bottle label?
  • [00:03:14] When our actions clash with our values
  • [00:07:30] What our ingrained stories tell us
  • [00:13:20] Share your shame
  • [00:14:35] Hang outwith useless friends
  • [00:15:37] Awe
  • [00:16:42] Multiple identities
  • [00:19:17] Empathy and understanding

Resources
  • THRIVE Weekly Planner
  • Watch the video version on YouTube
  • How Do You Say No When Someone Might Die? – Episode 193
  • Why Can’t I Say No? – Episode 163
  • How Perfectionism and Shame Lead to Stress and Burnout – 152 with Sandy Miles
  • How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim – Episode 92 with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie Sweeting
  • Tara Brach leads a Guided Meditation: The Practice of RAIN
  • Download the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.

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Connect with Rachel

Have any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:


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You Are Not A FrogBy Dr Rachel Morris

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