Trinity Forum Conversations

How to Know a Person with David Brooks


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In a society where so many feel unseen and unknown, how do we become the kind of people who deeply see and know those around us? The conflict and division in our society demonstrate the need for people committed to pursuing human connection, even across lines of difference. What can we do – as individuals and in community – that will help us really understand the people in our lives?


David Brooks, author of How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, joined us to explore what it means to know others and to be known by them:

When I ask people, tell me about a time you've been seen, they tell me with bright eyes and joy in their face, they tell me about time somebody totally got them. Because seeing someone, if I see potential in you, you'll see potential in yourself. If I beam my attention on you, you'll blossom. And so it's just super powerful to feel seen. But it's also powerful and fantastic to feel like you're the seer.

This podcast is an edited version of an online conversation recorded in 2023. Watch the full video of the conversation here. Learn more about David Brooks.


Authors and books mentioned in the conversation:

Bobos in Paradise, On Paradise Drive, The Social Animal, The Road to Character, The Second Mountain, and How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, by David Brooks

Frederick Buechner

Iris Murdoch

Dan McAdams

Mónica Guzmán

E. M. Foster

Jennie Jerome

William Gladstone

Benjamin Disraeli

Harry Nyquist

Andy Crouch

Michael Gerson

Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl 

Thornton Wilder

Oprah Winfrey

Kate Murphey


Related Trinity Forum Readings:

Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

Wrestling with God, by Simone Weil


Related Conversations:
Rebuilding our Common Life with Yuval Levin
The Challenge of Christian Nationalism with Mark Noll and Vincent Bacote
The Decadent Society with Ross Douthat
Science, Faith, Trust and Truth with Francis Collins
Beyond Ideology with Peter Kreeft and Eugene Rivers
Justice, Mercy, and Overcoming Racial Division with Claude Alexander and Mac Pier
Healing a Divided Culture with Arthur Brooks
After Babel with Andy Crouch and Johnathan Haidt
Trust, Truth, and The Knowledge Crisis with Bonnie Kristian
Hope in an Age of Anxiety with Curtis Chang & Curt Thompson


To listen to this or any of our episodes in full, visit ttf.org/podcast and to join the Trinity Forum Society and help make content like this possible, join the Trinity Forum Society


Special thanks to Ned Bustard for our podcast artwork.

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