Conflict Skills

How to Manage Emotions in Performance Management Conversations


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In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast with host Simon Goode, we dive into the crucial topic of managing emotions during performance management meetings. Simon, a seasoned professional mediator, addresses the challenges often faced in these meetings, especially when conflict escalates. He explores various de-escalation strategies tailored for performance management conversations by focusing on five key aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness. Simon also discusses the importance of balancing assertiveness with empathy, offering step-by-step insights into how to maintain composure through both verbal and nonverbal communication. Whether you're aiming to foster collaboration or need to take a more direct approach, Simon's guidance in this episode provides valuable tools to help navigate performance-related discussions effectively. Tune in to learn how to keep these crucial conversations more productive and less contentious.


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EPISODE SUMMARY: 

  1. Understanding Performance Management Conflicts
    • Performance management processes as potentially adversarial.
    • Natural combativeness and defensive responses.
    • Approach to de-escalation in performance management settings.
    • Balancing assertiveness and empathy.
  2. De-escalation Skills and Their Application
    • Overview of five aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness.
    • Individual context-based approach to either assertiveness or empathy.
    • Five options for responding to conflict: competing, compromising, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating.
  3. De-escalation Strategy: Certainty
    • Providing certainty through information about what to expect.
    • Discussing behavior, consequences, and facts.
    • Transparency and specificity in addressing issues.
  4. De-escalation Strategy: Relatedness
    • Demonstrating understanding and empathy.
    • Allowing questions and pausing to slow the pace.
    • Addressing emotions and processing time.
  5. De-escalation Strategy: Autonomy
    • Giving a sense of control over the meeting and issue.
    • Offering choices and soliciting input on problem-solving.
  6. De-escalation Strategy: Status
    • Making the person feel important.
    • Acknowledging contributions and separating issue from personal attributes.
  7. De-escalation Strategy: Fairness
    • Allowing responses and questions.
    • Implementing transparent processes and outlining change expectations.
  8. Nonverbal Aspects of De-escalation
    • Voice tone, volume, and pace adjustments.
    • Facial expression and body language considerations.
    • Maintaining a composed presence to influence meeting dynamics.



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website: simongoode.com
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Conflict SkillsBy Simon Goode

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