Why is it that we can tell someone "I'm totally fine!" and they instantly know we're not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another.

In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory.

He talks with Dr. Dustin York, a professor at Maryville University who studies nonverbal communication and worked in public relations for Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign. He also sits down with Dave Goetsch, a co-executive producer and longtime writer for The Big Bang Theory, and journalist Jessica Radloff, who wrote an exhaustive book about the show.

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by

Duhigg's bestselling book, Supercommunicators.

Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

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May's father nearly lost $4,000 to an online scam. How can she protect him from future fraud? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kathy Stokes, director of fraud prevention programs at AARP. She also runs their Fraud Watch Network. Kathy helps May rethink how she's talking to her parents about cyber scams—and she explains steps that everyone can take to avoid becoming a crime victim.

If you or someone you know has been the victim of cyber fraud, you can contact AARP's helpline at 877-908-3360.

Liked this episode? heck out: How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game and How To Steal Back Your Identity

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To's supervising producer is Joel Meyer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking "Try Free" at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here…

In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life.

He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love."

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg's bestselling book, Supercommunicators.

Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad.

Our technical director is Merritt Jacob.

Joel Meyer is our supervising producer.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a new miniseries inspired by Charles Duhigg's bestseller, the former host of Slate's How To! podcast sits down with psychologists, social scientists, and even a Hollywood writer to explore how to ask the right questions, communicate without words, and find meaningful connections in our lives.

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At nearly 40, Valerie is itching to pay off her student loans and finally become debt-free. But… how? On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Yanely Espinal, financial educator, author of Mind Your Money, and host of the Marketplace podcast Financially Inclined. Yanely breaks down the best ways to pay off your education debt without putting the rest of your life on hiatus.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Make a Big Purchase Without Panicking

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking "Try Free" at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she's lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn't interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she's worried it's hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come as You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimate. "Think of like when you were dating…that was date sex," Emily reminds us. She then breaks down the myths that so many of us have internalized about sex, and shares surprising tips to help anyone—no matter their age or relationship status—have better sex.

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Save Your Marriage."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Rachael Allen, and Rosemary Belson.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking "Try Free" at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Jeff and his family lost their home last month in the L.A. wildfires. Since then, he's been hyperfocused on insurance claims, an epic to-do list, and finding a "temporary" place to live for the next several years. But Jeff hasn't experienced the emotional punch of the devastation yet. In fact… he just feels numb. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Laurel Braitman, author of What Looks Like Bravery: An Epic Journey Through Loss to Love. In a moving (and sometimes funny) conversation, Laurel tells Jeff how she's still processing what she lost in a 2017 wildfire, and they talk about the heartbreak, grief—and glimmers of hope—that follow the sudden loss of your family's home.

Artwork mentioned: It's Going Down Like a House on Fire by Nyx Coker.

https://compote.slate.com/images/59305637-0bdb-492c-9734-39addc8f11b6.jpeg

If you liked this episode check out: How To Survive a Disaster.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking "Try Free" at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it's getting serious, but he's worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve your peace of mind and foster happiness.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking "Try Free" at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Connie is feeling compelled to get involved in her local community, but she's never even attended a PTA meeting. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin enlists Eric Liu of Citizen University to explain how busy parents, introverts, and first-timers like Connie can test the waters of civic engagement in the Trump 2.0 era—without getting sucked under.

Eric is the author of You're More Powerful Than You Think: A Citizen's Guide to Making Change Happen.

If you liked this episode, check out our companion episode, How To Become an Expat, or this recent conversation: How To Lead Your Local Nonprofit.

For an upcoming episode, we want to hear from listeners affected by the disastrous wildfires in the Los Angeles area. If you're able to do so during this stressful time, tell us about the questions and challenges you're facing as you rebuild your home and your life. Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking "Try Free" at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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For three decades, Mike has worked in a field with an uncertain future: journalism. He loves the stability of his current job mentoring student reporters, but he can't stop thinking about starting a new career—in his 50s—in astrophysics, architecture, or law. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin enlists career coach and psychologist Dr. Dawn Graham to help Mike think through his midlife career crisis, especially his urge to go back to school.

Dawn's book is Switchers: How Smart Professionals Change Careers—and Seize Success.

If you liked this episode check out: Find a New Career Before It's Too Late and How To Advance Your Career By Quitting Your Job.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking "Try Free" at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices