In this important gem of an episode, I delve into the complexities of people pleasing and the importance of setting boundaries with psychotherapist and boundaries expert Elsie Owen. We explore how people pleasing often stems from a desire for emotional safety and the impact of childhood experiences on these behaviours. Our discussion highlights the necessity of self-regulation and the strategies for establishing healthy boundaries in relationships. Elsie shares insights from her course, emphasising the importance of pausing and reflecting before responding to social pressures, ultimately guiding listeners towards a more authentic and balanced way of living. We even answer the important question: "how can I have boundaries and not upset people?"

Key takeaways:

• People pleasing is often about regulating our own discomfort rather than genuinely caring for others.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for emotional safety and self-regulation.
• Identifying whether actions stem from kindness or obligation is key to overcoming people pleasing.
• Childhood experiences significantly shape our people pleasing behaviours.
• Emotional safety is about feeling okay in social situations, not just physical safety.
• Learning to pause before responding can help in setting boundaries.
• It's important to recognise that we cannot control how others feel or react.
• Creating secret boundaries can help ease the transition into more assertive communication.
• Self-regulation is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and boundaries.
• The journey of unlearning people pleasing behaviours is possible and empowering.

Connect with Elsie:

Insta: @boundarieswithelsie

Web: www.elsieowen.com

Sign up here for Elsie's course, Build Better Boundaries with 30% DISCOUNT UNTIL END AUGUST 2025. https://www.elsieowen.com/bbb

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