Navigating Divorce While Parenting: How to Put Your Kids First

Seth and Pete sit down with Heather Brooke Quick, the founder and CEO of Florida Women's Law Group, to discuss how to become a better, stronger parent during and after divorce. Heather shares her expertise on helping clients navigate co-parenting challenges and putting their children's needs first.

Seth, Pete, and Heather dive into the importance of focusing on the big picture and remembering that co-parenting is a lifelong commitment. They discuss strategies for keeping animosity in check, even when dealing with contentious issues like finances. Heather emphasizes the value of taking the high road and modeling positive behavior for your children.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can I shield my kids from the negative aspects of divorce?
• What's the best way to communicate with my ex about parenting issues?
• How much should I share with my kids about the divorce process?

Key Takeaways:

• Always prioritize your children's well-being over conflicts with your ex
• Be mindful of your reactions and behavior, as your children will learn from your example
• Consider therapy or counseling to help your children process their emotions during divorce

The conversation also touches on the importance balance of maintaining transparency with your children about age-appropriate aspects of the divorce, such as changes in finances or living arrangements. Seth, Pete, and Heather offer guidance on how to have these conversations without putting your children in the middle of adult issues.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of parenting during and after divorce. With Heather's expertise and Seth and Pete's relatable insights, you'll gain valuable tools for putting your children first and building a strong foundation for your post-divorce family.

Plus, we tackle a listener question – with Heather! – about when to file for divorce when pregnant.

Links & Notes

• Find Heather on the web, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
• Tune in to Heather’s podcast Women Winning Divorce
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Apologies and Relationships: How to Say Sorry and Mean It

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the art of apologizing effectively with special guest Susan McCarthy, co-author of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies. Together, they explore the anatomy of a sincere apology, discuss common pitfalls, and share insights on how mastering the apology can improve your relationships, especially during a divorce – and we’re not just talking about with your spouse or ex but your kids as well!

Susan, a renowned author who has written about animal behavior and humor, brings her expertise on crafting effective apologies to the conversation. Seth and Pete engage her in a thought-provoking discussion on why people struggle with apologizing, the importance of teaching children how to apologize correctly, and how a well-executed apology can make a significant difference in the divorce process.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What are the key components of a sincere apology?
• How can a genuine apology impact divorce proceedings?
• Why is it crucial to teach children the art of apologizing?

Key Takeaways:

• A proper apology consists of six essential steps, including expressing remorse, acknowledging the specific wrongdoing, and demonstrating an understanding of the impact.
• Apologies can be powerful tools in mediation and can help couples reach agreements during a divorce.
• Mastering the art of apologizing can lead to healthier relationships and emotional well-being.

This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and strengthen their relationships. Whether you're going through a divorce or simply want to learn how to apologize effectively, Seth, Pete, and Susan provide practical advice and real-life examples to help you navigate the complexities of saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it.

Links & Notes

• SorryWatch.com
• Get Susan’s and Marjorie’s Book in hardback or paperback
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Divorce can be a complicated process, especially with children. The acronym PEACE can be used to remember the major points. We talk through each of the points on the show today. When filing for divorce, keep these in mind.

• P – Parenting Plan: Required under Florida law and is split into parental responsibility (decision-making), child time-sharing (custody and visitation), and everything else that goes along with raising kids.
• E – Equitable Distribution: How your assets (things you own) or liabilities (debts you owe) will be divided. In Florida, the starting point is that marital property is divided equitably.
• A – Alimony: This is a payment one spouse makes to another spouse during or after the divorce. The main questions regarding alimony are: does one spouse have a need for alimony, and does the other spouse have the ability to pay alimony?  If the answer to those questions is yes, then the question is how much and for how long.
• C – Child Support: Child support is based on a mathematical formula. It typically lasts until the child turns eighteen or graduates high school.
• E – Everything Else: This includes the divorce process and how attorney’s fees get paid.

This conversation goes back to the beginning for a refresher in the core elements to keep in mind when you’re going through a divorce.

Links & Notes

• Parenting Plan Examples
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Listener Questions on Alimony, Co-Parenting, and More

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into their mailbag to answer pressing questions from listeners. From alimony calculations to co-parenting challenges, Seth and Pete offer their insights and advice on navigating the complexities of divorce.

Seth and Pete tackle a range of topics, including how judges handle parenting plans for previously uninvolved parents, the intricacies of Florida's new alimony statute, and strategies for dealing with uncooperative ex-spouses in co-parenting arrangements. They also share the origin story of the podcast and express gratitude for their dedicated listeners.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• Can a judge order a step-up plan for a previously uninvolved parent?
• How is alimony calculated under Florida's new law?
• How can I handle an ex-spouse who refuses to accommodate extra time with the kids?

Key Takeaways:

• Judges must act in the best interest of the child when determining parenting plans
• Alimony calculations in Florida are based on net income, not gross income
• Communicate openly with your ex-spouse about co-parenting issues and aim to be the bigger person

Plus, Kristin asks about the origins of the How to Split a Toaster podcast. Seth and Pete take a walk down memory lane, recounting their initial meeting, early podcast ideas, and the journey that led to the creation of their successful show.

This episode is packed with valuable information for anyone navigating a divorce or co-parenting relationship. Seth and Pete's expert advice, combined with their engaging banter, makes for an informative and entertaining listen. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of crucial divorce-related issues and discover strategies for handling common challenges.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the challenging topic of how divorce impacts children. They're joined by special guest Cathy Himlin, a reunification/conjoint family therapist, to discuss the child-centered approach in divorce parenting and what parents need to know to maintain a healthy connection with their kids.

Seth, Pete, and Cathy explore how parents' grief, anxiety, and emotions during the divorce process can affect children. They discuss the concept of "emotional contagion" and how kids pick up on and model their parents' behavior and feelings. Cathy shares insights from her work in court-involved family therapy, explaining how she helps children who have rejected a parent due to the emotional fallout of divorce.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do my emotions during divorce impact my children?
• What can I do to help my kids cope with the changes and stress of divorce?
• How can therapy assist in repairing the parent-child relationship after a divorce?

Key Takeaways:

• Be mindful of how your emotions and behaviors affect your children during divorce
• Focus on your children's needs and create a safe space for them to express their feelings
• Seeking professional help, like reunification therapy, can be crucial in maintaining and repairing parent-child bonds

Throughout the episode, Seth, Pete, and Cathy provide valuable advice and strategies for parents navigating the challenges of divorce with their children. They emphasize the importance of validating children's emotions, offering sincere apologies when necessary, and consistently working to maintain a strong, supportive parent-child relationship.

This episode is a must-listen for any parent going through a divorce who wants to better understand their child's perspective and learn practical ways to help them cope with the emotional impact of this significant life change.

Plus, we answer a listener question about social investigations!

Links & Notes

• Learn more about Cathy at Himlin Consulting
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Navigating Your Financial Mindset After Divorce

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the psychological impact of divorce on financial decision making. They're joined by certified financial planner Ben Hockema, who shares his insights on helping individuals rebuild their lives and relationship with money post-divorce.

Seth, Pete, and Ben explore how divorce can drastically change one's financial psychology, often leading to a scarcity mindset. They discuss the importance of processing the loss of a "financial partner" and the stages of undoing the experience with a poor one. Ben emphasizes the need for a grieving period before making any irrevocable financial decisions and shares his approach to helping clients start fresh with a new financial plan tailored to their individual goals.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How does divorce impact your financial psychology?
• What are the stages of undoing the experience with a poor financial partner?
• How can you rebuild your financial life after divorce?

Key Takeaways:

• Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your financial partner before making major financial decisions.
• Start fresh with a new financial plan that aligns with your individual goals and values.
• Seek support from a financial planner or therapist to help navigate the emotional aspects of money post-divorce.

This episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating the financial and emotional challenges of divorce. Seth, Pete, and Ben provide practical advice and reassurance that with time, support, and a fresh perspective, it's possible to rebuild a healthy relationship with money and move forward with confidence.

Plus, we answer a listener question!

Links & Notes

• Find Ben and Illuminate Wealth Management on the web, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook
• Schedule a call with Ben
• The Trance of Scarcity by Victoria Castle
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

In this episode, Seth and Pete welcome Josef Stetter, also known as "The Résumé Whisperer," to share his insights on creating a compelling post-divorce résumé that will help you land the job you desire.

Seth and Pete discuss with Josef the challenges faced by individuals re-entering the workforce after a divorce. They explore strategies for highlighting transferable skills, quantifying accomplishments, and showcasing the unique value you bring to the table. Josef emphasizes the importance of tailoring your résumé to the specific job and company you're targeting, rather than relying on generic approaches.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can I make my résumé stand out after being out of the workforce for an extended period?
• What transferable skills should I highlight on my post-divorce résumé?
• How do I get past the AI filters and ensure my résumé reaches human eyes?

Key Takeaways:

• Quantify your accomplishments and contributions to demonstrate your value
• Tailor your résumé to the specific job and company you're targeting
• Be proactive in your job search by making personal connections and following up

Josef also shares practical tips for acing the job interview, including coming prepared, projecting confidence, and focusing on quantifiable achievements rather than just duties and responsibilities. Seth and Pete engage in a lively discussion with Josef, providing examples and actionable advice for listeners navigating the post-divorce job search.

This episode is packed with valuable insights and strategies for creating a standout post-divorce résumé and acing the job interview. Whether you've been out of the workforce for a while or are looking to switch careers, Josef's expert guidance will help you showcase your unique strengths and land the job you deserve.

Plus, we tackle a listener question about bringing AI into your divorce.

Links & Notes

• Find Josef on the web, LinkedIn, Twitter/X, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Rewriting Your Money Story During Divorce
In this episode, Seth and Pete aim to help listeners understand the role money plays during divorce. They are joined by guest Jennifer Lee, founder of Modern Wealth, who specializes in helping people take control of their money story. Jennifer provides insights into common money issues that arise during divorce and how to overcome emotional and practical hurdles.

The main discussion focuses on understanding your unique money story, dealing with financial fears and uncertainty, and practical steps to regain control of your finances. Key themes include rewriting limiting beliefs around money, budgeting, handling joint accounts, and planning for the future.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do I overcome anxiety about my finances after divorce?
• What essential documents and accounts should I gather?
• What specific steps can I take to become financially independent?

Key Takeaways:

• Divorce brings up many complex emotions around money. Seek support to handle them.
• Knowledge reduces fear. Learn everything you can about your current finances.
• You can rewrite your money story. Take control with planning and smart decisions.

Plus, we tackle another listener question! Donna asks about how to move forward with divorce when her estranged husband controls their insurance and finances. Seth and Pete advise speaking to a lawyer to understand her options and rights. Knowledge is power.

This episode delivers incredible value, whether you're already divorced or just considering it. Jennifer provides wisdom and practical steps to overcome financial hurdles and gain confidence. It's a must-listen for anyone looking to rewrite their money story and thrive.

Links & Notes

• Find Jennifer on the web, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
• Check out Jennifer’s book Squeeze the Juice
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

Fueling Your Body Through Divorce and Beyond
Seth and Pete welcome Jill Moellering, a functional nutritional therapy practitioner, to discuss how divorce affects our relationship with food. Jill offers guidance on overcoming disordered eating and embracing a balanced approach to nutrition.

This compelling episode tackles the mental and emotional roots of unhealthy eating habits. Seth and Pete explore how grief, loss of control, and stress – factors in any divorce – impact our food choices. Jill provides practical strategies to become more mindful, such as focusing on how different foods make you feel and keeping a food journal.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can I cope with emotional or stress eating during my divorce?
• What are some simple ways to start eating healthier after a separation?
• How can I teach my kids good eating habits when their other parent doesn't do the same?

Key Takeaways:

• Prioritize protein at every meal to stay full and stabilize blood sugar.
• Pay attention to how different foods affect your mood, energy, and sleep.
• Approach food from a perspective of choice rather than restriction.

Plus, we tackle a listener question about navigating separation when unmarried with a child.

Seth explains the differences in this "parental divorce" and stresses the importance of finding a lawyer familiar with paternity law. Though the emotional impact is similar, the legal process differs without a marriage.

This episode will inspire you to build a healthier relationship with food, even amidst the turmoil of divorce. Tune in to gain practical nutrition tips and a deeper understanding of your eating habits.

Links & Notes

• Jill’s website Whole Bean Wellness
• Find Jill and Whole Bean Wellness on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.

In this empowering episode, Seth and Pete are joined by Beverly Price, founder of Her Empowered Divorce, to discuss how to overcome domestic abuse and take control of divorce proceedings. Beverly shares her personal story of persevering through multiple divorces and emerging stronger. She provides insights on effective communication, documenting abuse, and building a supportive team. This is an inspiring conversation about reclaiming your agency during a challenging time.

Key Takeaways

• Communicate for results, not just to express yourself. Frame issues clearly and concisely.
• Create a divorce team including a coach, lawyer and financial advisor. Divvy up roles.
• Document abuse with specific facts and dates, not emotions. Paint a pattern over time.

Questions We Answer

• How can you prep most effectively for that first lawyer meeting?
• What should you say when first telling your spouse you want divorce?
• How do you prove non-physical abuse like coercion?

Plus, we tackle another listener question on changes in Florida divorce law!

This empathetic episode provides encouragement and practical tools to help anyone facing a contentious split take control of their situation, reclaim their self-worth, and ultimately transition from victim to survivor. Beverly shares her own inspiring journey as well as expert tips to empower yourself and get results during divorce proceedings.

Links & Notes

• Find Beverly and Her Empowered Divorce on the web, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
• Her Empowered Divorce Podcast
• Get Beverly’s free ebook Comprehensive Divorce Checklist here
• Divorce Coalition
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Establishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.