How To! with Charles Duhigg

Why is it that we can tell someone "I'm totally fine!" and they instantly know we're not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another.

In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory.

He talks with Dr. Dustin York, a professor at Maryville University who studies nonverbal communication and worked in public relations for Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign. He also sits down with Dave Goetsch, a co-executive producer and longtime writer for The Big Bang Theory, and journalist Jessica Radloff, who wrote an exhaustive book about the show.

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg's bestselling book, Supercommunicators.

Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Can you actually make your life better? Every month, How To! producer Rosie Belson will put some of our best advice to the test. This month: optimizing sleep!

Featured How To! episodes:

• How To Sleep
• How To Sleep Like a Champ
• How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship
• How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier)
• How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump

Next month we'll be breaking up with our phones—with advice heard on these episodes:

• How To Put Down Your Phone
• How To Break the Spell of Social Media
• How To Rethink Screen Time

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To's supervising producer is Joel Meyer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

May's father nearly lost $4,000 to an online scam. How can she protect him from future fraud? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kathy Stokes, director of fraud prevention programs at AARP. She also runs their Fraud Watch Network. Kathy helps May rethink how she's talking to her parents about cyber scams—she explains steps that everyone can take to avoid becoming a crime victim.

If you or someone you know has been the victim of cyber fraud, you can contact AARP's helpline at 877-908-3360.

Liked this episode? heck out: How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game and How To Steal Back Your Identity

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To's supervising producer is Joel Meyer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In a new miniseries inspired by Charles Duhigg's bestseller, the former host of Slate's How To! podcast sits down with psychologists, social scientists, and even a Hollywood writer to explore how to ask the right questions, communicate without words, and find meaningful connections in our lives.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here…

In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life.

He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love."

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg's bestselling book, Supercommunicators.

Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad.

Our technical director is Merritt Jacob.

Joel Meyer is our supervising producer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

At nearly 40, Valerie is itching to pay off her student loans and finally become debt-free. But… how? On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Yanely Espinal, financial educator, author of Mind Your Money, and host of the Marketplace podcast Financially Inclined. Yanely breaks down the best ways to pay off your education debt without putting the rest of your life on hiatus.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Make a Big Purchase Without Panicking

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she's lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn't interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she's worried it's hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come as You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimate. "Think of like when you were dating…that was date sex," Emily reminds us. She then breaks down the myths that so many of us have internalized about sex, and shares surprising tips to help anyone—no matter their age or relationship status—have better sex.

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Save Your Marriage."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Rachael Allen, and Rosemary Belson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this exclusive Quick Fix bonus episode: Laurel Braitman reads a passage from her book What Looks Like Bravery: An Epic Journey Through Loss to Love. She talks about journeying up to Alaska to learn about guilt from some badly behaved birds.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jeff and his family lost their home last month in the L.A. wildfires. Since then, he's been hyperfocused on insurance claims, an epic to-do list, and finding a "temporary" place to live for the next several years. But Jeff hasn't experienced the emotional punch of the devastation yet. In fact… he just feels numb. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Laurel Braitman, author of What Looks Like Bravery: An Epic Journey Through Loss to Love. In a moving (and sometimes funny) conversation, Laurel tells Jeff how she's still processing what she lost in a 2017 wildfire, and they talk about the heartbreak, grief—and glimmers of hope—that follow the sudden loss of your family's home.

Artwork mentioned: It's Going Down Like a House on Fire by Nyx Coker.

https://compote.slate.com/images/59305637-0bdb-492c-9734-39addc8f11b6.jpeg

If you liked this episode check out: How To Survive a Disaster.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Can you actually make your life better? Every month How To! producer, Rosie Belson, will be putting some of our best advice to the test. This month: combating the mundane with novelty. The advice was from this 2021 episode: How To Fill an Empty Nest

Next month we'll be stress-testing sleeping tips from these How To! episodes:

How To Sleep

How To Sleep Like a Champ

How To Sleep Apart to Save Your Relationship

How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier)

How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To!'s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.