Hello everyone!

You know, it seems like just yesterday, we met Michelle as she crashed Matt James' party about three weeks into his season. Now the darling, athletic, lovable teacher with legs for days has shimmied into a mint green sparkly dress made from chainmail and is ready to find the love of her life among many dapper-looking, age-appropriate men.

In last week's episode, Some Guy in Austin and I touted our front-runners. Then, using ABC biographies and Instagram accounts alone, we sifted through the roster, looking for individuals we thought had what it takes to make Michelle happy. Some of our choices were spot on. Others were major flops.

I've been recapping The Bachelor since 2003. You'd think after eighteen years, I could spot a Chach from a mile away. It turns out that is not the case.

I'm looking at you, Ice Cream Ryan. 

EPISODE NOTES:

Here's the Bachelorette Michelle recap.

And here's the link to our official Bachelorette Bracket we are playing with my favorite sports podcast, Last Night's Game. I can't wait!!!

Click HERE to be sucked in by the stats on Bachelor Data!

SHOW NOTES:

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Buy My Books: It's a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans

There are so many guys vying for the heart of Michelle Young. And why wouldn't they be? She's adorable, athletic, caring, and looks great in a cocktail dress.

But Some Guy in Austin and I narrow down our picks to ten total suitors who should be on your bracket.

You know we have a bracket, right? With the folks over at Last Night's Game? Check the link in the show notes and play along. I am one-hundred percent confident that I am going to beat Some Guy this year. And I am not being cocky like Peter the Pizzapreneur.

I just know that Some Guy forgets to fill out his bracket on Monday mornings, therefore, I win by default. But it's still a win!

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the link to our bachelor bracket with the folks over at Last Night's Game!

And HERE is a link to the Google Doc with the dude's Instagram feeds. Enjoy!

Bachelor in Paradise has reached its end, and because we love you, Some Guy in Austin and I watched all three hours, so you didn't have to. Let's face it. All you want to know is who left the beach broken-hearted and who left the beach with a ring on her finger. 

We've got all the details for you right here, including the dude who left with another dude on his back. BROS before ROSE(S).

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the finale recap of Bachelor in Paradise.

Would you like to listen to the Spotify playlist?

Interested in Bachelor Data? Check it out. It's fascinating!

We are one episode away from finding out who is leaving the beach with an Uncle Neil ring on her finger, thereby ensuring at least a few months of influencer fame, and who will be cashing in fifteen minutes of fame at a Las Vegas casino. The anticipation is killing Some Guy in Austin. He is so excited to see if Mari and Kenny make it out in the real world.

I'm kidding, of course, but he does have very specific thoughts about week 7. For example:

Do you prefer rollker skating over roller blading? And did you have a signature move at the roller skating rink?Have you ever handled a snake?Is Ed a knight in shining armor? Or is he rose hunting?Was Natasha sick or sick and tired of Paradise?Is Noah a villain?And finally, does anyone know who Alexa is?

Hold on. I think I know someone who can answer this question: Alexa...who is Alexa?

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the week 7 recap of Bachelor in Paradise.

Would you like to listen to the Spotify playlist?

Interested in Bachelor Data? Check it out. It's fascinating!

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to Podcast: iTunes or Android

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Buy My Books: It's a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans

We're getting down to the nitty-gritty, dear reader. There are only three weeks left to celebrate the pending proposals of those who found love on the beaches of Bachelor in Paradise, and for some reason, ABC thinks we need THREE HOURS to start wrapping this mother up next Tuesday. 

There's absolutely nothing we can do about it. Like a looming tropical storm heading straight for us, we will have to hunker down and hang on until our pallet cleanse known as Michelle arrives in October.

This is why I'm glad you have us to help you narrow down the important details of this episode. Some Guy in Austin and I are here for you as we ask the big questions:

Is Ivan a villain?What is the liklihood that salsa dripped into Mari's nether regions?Does Kendall still love Grocery Store Joe? Or was she having a minor nervous breakdown?Why did the cast move like a herd of decript turtles when they were told they needed to evacuate immediately?And how many made a beeline for the bar to get a margarita to go?

My guess is at least half.

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the week 6 recap of Bachelor in Paradise.

Would you like to listen to the Spotify playlist?

Interested in Bachelor Data? Check it out. It's fascinating!

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to Podcast: iTunes or Android

Follow Me: Facebook and Instagram, and Twitter

Buy My Books: It's a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans

Let me just say that digesting two hours of Bachelor in Paradise is a treat. I appreciate that the producers have condensed the episode into edible chunks of drama. They packed so much into 120 minutes! People are leaving left and right. Newbies are showing up with their fresh faces. Ladies crying buckets of tears.

Did I know Blake at the beginning? Nope.Was I sad for Tammy getting kicked off the island on her birthday? Sort of.Could I have done without whipped cream sucked off a dirty, sandy toe? Always.

Some Guy in Austin and I are back, my friends. We’ve cut the fat. We’ve separated the wheat from the chaff. And we’re here to discuss the important things you need to know.

Of course, there are some random things, too. You get that for free!

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the week 5 recap of Bachelor in Paradise.

Would you like to listen to the Spotify playlist?

Interested in Bachelor Data? Check it out. It’s fascinating!

Click the link to give to Arise Africa!

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to Podcast: iTunes or Android

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Buy My Books: It’s a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans

It’s been a hot minute since Todd and I recorded an episode on the movies we've seen. In fact, it’s been over a year! The pandemic is no joke, people. 

But since we are vaxed, we wasted no time heading to the big screen once again to enjoy some of the summer’s biggest hits. Of course, all of Todd’s reviews are for scary, or Oscar-nominated films.

I lean a little more toward cartoons, comic books, and musicals. 

And as a BONUS, I share a few reviews on two streaming romantic comedies that you should skip entirely.

Here’s a hint: He is NOT all that.

EPISODE NOTES:

Todd's PicksThe CourierA Quiet Place 2OldMinariThe Father

Lincee's PicsCruellaIn the HeightsBlack WidowJungle Cruise The IHGB Jungle Cruise Podcast Review

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to Podcast: iTunes or Android

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Buy My Books: It’s a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans

Bachelor in Paradise Week 4 brought SO...MUCH...D-R-A-M-A.

And I loved every second. Some Guy in Austin and I have thoughts upon thoughts. For example:

When did Grocery Store Joe get so feisty?Will Tammy run out of tears by the end of the next episode?Why is Chris voted off the island, yet Brendan and Pieper are galvanting freely?Is Brendan a complete and total Chach?

I'll give you a hint: The answer is yes.

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the week 4 recap of Bachelor in Paradise.

Would you like to listen to the Spotify playlist?

Interested in Bachelor Data? Check it out. It's fascinating!

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to Podcast: iTunes or Android

Follow Me: Facebook and Instagram, and Twitter

Buy My Books: It’s a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans

The technical difficulties that plagued me during this podcast almost made me lose my Christianity. There's a dainty cloud of profanity that still hangs over the house as I write this sentence, but all I'm going to ask you to do is extend a heaping serving a grace to this episode.

Do I own a microphone and professional equipment? Yes, I do.

Does it sound like my first time podcasting? Indeed, it does.

Was everyone and everything, including my migraine, against me while editing this bad boy? You bet.

Did I have to start completely over after two hours of work because I could not hear the audio for some unknown reason? Of course, I did.

But that doesn't stop me and Some Guy in Austin from trudging on, providing you with nothing but the answers to life-altering questions. For example:

Is "smoke show" a compliment or does it have misogynistic undertones?Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow and the guy from Coldplay decided to consciously uncouple? I'd like to officially coin the phrase "conscious un-vibing" for this season.Will Demi actually murder Tia her sleep?

My bet is yes. Demi has trouble hiding her crazy.

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the premiere recap of Bachelor in Paradise.

Would you like to listen to the Spotify playlist?

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to Podcast: iTunes or Android

Follow Me: Facebook and Instagram, and Twitter

Buy My Books: It’s a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans

Well, four hours of Paradise per week seems like way too much time to allow very pretty people to “open their hearts” to each other. Can I get an amen? Especially when all they do is drink, lift weights, and sleep in day beds until the sun goes down. I’m looking at you, Joe the Grocer.

So, my mission, and I DO choose to accept it, will be to water down all the nonsense into a handful of entertaining storylines you need to know. For example:

As someone who weighs 40 pounds, will Demi have the physical strength to shiv someone with her fingernails?Will Victoria P. ever learn James’ name? Or will she continue to call him Jordan at all the Bachelor franchise get-togethers?Are we ever going to learn how tall Thomas is? 

And because watching 240 hours of BIP tends to mess with one’s brain, Some Guy in Austin and I do slide off the rails a few times in this episode. You’ll be happy to hear we discuss in length NSYNC’s "Bye Bye Bye" video and devote way too much time practicing our remedial Spanish.

You’re gonna love it. It’s muy bien. 

EPISODE NOTES:

HERE is the premiere recap of Bachelor in Paradise.

Would you like to listen to the Spotify playlist?

SHOW NOTES:

Subscribe to Podcast: iTunes or Android

Follow Me: Facebook and Instagram, and Twitter

Buy My Books: It’s a Love Story and Why I Hate Green Beans