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In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Griffin to hear one of the most intense and personal stories I’ve encountered about growing up gay in a Christian environment. We talk about what it’s like to be taught that your identity is sinful, the psychological toll of trying to “pray the gay away,” and how systems of shame, guilt, and fear can shape the way you see yourself.
Griffin shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, including manipulation tactics, missionary school, and even being pressured into shock therapy. We also explore what it looks like to break free from that world, rebuild your identity, and navigate the tension between faith and sexuality—along with how these stories are still impacting people today.
00:00 Strict Megachurch Upbringing
04:01 Realizing He Was Gay
21:46 Hawaii Mission School Brainwashing
28:38 Fear Tactics and Shame
32:05 Ex-Gay TikTok Era
34:36 Coerced Shock Therapy
40:37 Healing and Hope Ahead
To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad
To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.
By Cade Bradley5
1717 ratings
In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Griffin to hear one of the most intense and personal stories I’ve encountered about growing up gay in a Christian environment. We talk about what it’s like to be taught that your identity is sinful, the psychological toll of trying to “pray the gay away,” and how systems of shame, guilt, and fear can shape the way you see yourself.
Griffin shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, including manipulation tactics, missionary school, and even being pressured into shock therapy. We also explore what it looks like to break free from that world, rebuild your identity, and navigate the tension between faith and sexuality—along with how these stories are still impacting people today.
00:00 Strict Megachurch Upbringing
04:01 Realizing He Was Gay
21:46 Hawaii Mission School Brainwashing
28:38 Fear Tactics and Shame
32:05 Ex-Gay TikTok Era
34:36 Coerced Shock Therapy
40:37 Healing and Hope Ahead
To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad
To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

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