In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Griffin to hear one of the most intense and personal stories I’ve encountered about growing up gay in a Christian environment. We talk about what it’s like to be taught that your identity is sinful, the psychological toll of trying to “pray the gay away,” and how systems of shame, guilt, and fear can shape the way you see yourself.

Griffin shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, including manipulation tactics, missionary school, and even being pressured into shock therapy. We also explore what it looks like to break free from that world, rebuild your identity, and navigate the tension between faith and sexuality—along with how these stories are still impacting people today.

00:00 Strict Megachurch Upbringing
04:01 Realizing He Was Gay
21:46 Hawaii Mission School Brainwashing
28:38 Fear Tactics and Shame
32:05 Ex-Gay TikTok Era
34:36 Coerced Shock Therapy
40:37 Healing and Hope Ahead

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

*Skip to 01:23:00 - if you just want to see the slavery bit*

After a few months off podcasting, I came back with one of the wildest conversations I’ve had with a Catholic apologist. This is my third debate with Noah from  ⁨@Jesus.andwhatnot⁩   and we start in a pretty normal place: the historicity of Jesus, what (if anything) we can know from the sources, how reliable the Gospels are, and whether claims like crucifixion and resurrection can be treated like other ancient historical questions.

Then the conversation takes a sharp turn into epistemology—faith vs. history, “first principles,” and whether the Catholic Church can be treated as an infallible authority. And yes: there’s a moment where he starts defending slavery, which honestly caught me off guard in real time.

If you want the calm historical discussion, it’s here. If you want the “what did I just hear” moment, you’ll definitely find it. Either way, I hope this helps you think more clearly about what counts as evidence, what counts as faith, and how people build worldviews.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Return
02:43 Debate Setup: Historicity of Jesus
06:04 Exploring the Historical Jesus
18:34 Crucifixion and Resurrection Debate
32:03 Skepticism and Historical Evidence
47:51 The Presupposition of Jesus as God
48:25 Mary's Perpetual Virginity: Historical or Faith Claim?
49:28 Catholicism and Historical Claims
53:43 Epistemology and Circular Reasoning
55:45 First Principles and Trust in the Catholic Church
59:08 Faith vs. Historical Evidence
01:02:46 The Role of the Catholic Church in Morality
01:06:07 Debating the Stability of Worldviews
01:09:31 The Evolution of Catholic Doctrine
01:23:00 - DEFENDING SLAVERY
01:27:11 Closing Statements and Reflections

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I got to sit down in person with fellow ex-Catholic creator  ⁨@Nontradicath⁩   for a long-awaited crossover: why we’re not Catholic anymore.

Kevin shares his journey from being “born into” the traditionalist FSSP world—daily Latin Mass, grace-maxing, Marian devotions—to slowly realizing that so much of what he’d been taught as “history” looks a lot more like legend. 
We talk Old Testament authorship, Adam and Eve, gospel reliability, Marian apparitions like Fatima and Guadalupe, and the uncomfortable gap between what Catholic scholars actually say in academic work and what popular apologists tell the pews and YouTube.

00:00 Kevin's Background and Catholic Answers
04:00 Why We're Not Catholic Anymore
07:19 Historical and Biblical Skepticism
09:49 Marian Apparitions and Church History
11:46 Catholic Apologetics
20:10 Community and Catholicism
23:55 Catholic Scholars vs. Apologists
25:42 Frustrations with Apologetics
29:08 Deconstructing Catholic Beliefs
41:36 The Role of Fiction and Stories

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Cade sits down with gay Catholic writer and lawyer Chris Damian to unpack one of the most abused buzzwords in Catholic debates: natural law.

They trace how Aristotle, Aquinas, and virtue ethics get flattened into YouTube talking points, why “sex is for babies and bonding” doesn’t actually settle anything, and how natural law gets weaponized against LGBT people, contraception, and queer families while mysteriously ignoring things like smoking and worker exploitation.

From Latin Mass culture and “Catholic Inc.” to chastity, conversion therapy, and bad analogies about chairs, cups, and diet soda, Cade and Chris ask: What would natural law look like if we actually cared about human flourishing—especially for queer people—instead of just defending a pre-decided rulebook?

00:00 Natural Law in Catholicism
01:35 Catholic Inc. and Rad Trad Explained
03:31 Natural Law and Sexual Ethics
09:39 Critiques and Complexities of Natural Law
14:17 Marriage and Natural Law
20:25 Natural Law in Practice and Popular Misconceptions
37:58 Christian Natural Law and Intuitive Goods
46:30 The Anorexia Argument and Natural Law
50:56 The Flaws in Catholic Natural Law Arguments
56:14 The One-Way Valve of Catholic Studies
58:10 Adoption and Same-Sex Couples
59:52 The Complexity of Human Flourishing
01:04:06 The Inconsistencies in Catholic Sexual Ethics
01:06:57 The Broader Implications of Natural Law

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I sit down with Catholic YouTuber  @evan_raugust after a wild weekend where we went to seven churches in one weekend: Messianic Jewish, Catholic, Pentecostal, Orthodox, Anglican, non-denominational megachurch, and a Presbyterian church plant.

Evan's full main channel video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHejO1GGbwU&t=651s

We unpack how each community tells a different story about God, heaven, and everyday life—Latin Mass vs fog machines, house-church Orthodoxy vs televised sermons, “I felt the Holy Spirit” vs “this still doesn’t make me a believer.” We talk conversion, deconstruction, the pull of beauty and liturgy, and why some churches felt genuinely soulful while others felt like spiritual factories.

If you’re curious how an ex-Catholic atheist and a convinced Catholic convert experience the same services in totally different ways, this conversation is for you.

00:00 Weekend Adventure: Visiting Different Churches
01:20 Evan's Religious Background
03:48 Cade's Religious Background
04:49 Collaboration and Video Concept
11:46 Messianic Jewish Church Experience
14:59 Catholic Church Experience
19:00 Pentecostal Prayer Service Experience
20:46 Catholic vs Evangelical Views on End Times
23:18 Orthodox Church Experience
27:17 Non-Denominational Church Visit
31:16 Anglican Evensong Service
33:33 Nova Church: A Presbyterian Experience
38:00 Reflections on Visiting Multiple Churches
42:13 Concluding Thoughts on Religion and Atheism

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Christian youtube video essays keep claiming that “LGBT ideology” ruined male friendship, but I have no clue what they're on about.

As a gay ex-Catholic, I use my old theological training to look at the “and they were just roommates” discourse, the panic over male affection, and the erasure of queer couples from history. I also share my own story of trying to be a devout, rule-following Catholic while secretly gay—and what I discovered about friendship once I left that homophobic bubble.

Creators featured in this video:
 @theLOOPcast
 @TheCounselofTrent
 @amenalex
 @AscensionPresents
 @jasonevert  

00:00 Gay People Stole Your Frogs and Toads
06:48 And History Will Call Them Roommates
23:11 Keep The Socks On
36:38 The Real Victims

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

After debating together on the Ellen Fisher Podcast, Elijah Lamb (Gen-Z Christian preacher and well-known TikToker) and I (ex-Catholic, now atheist debater) sat down to unpack Gen-Z Catholicism, Protestant/Catholic/Atheist debate culture, and why certainty theater replaces discipleship. We talk caricatures (“read church history, become Catholic”), denominational hopping, Mary/Eucharist misunderstandings, street-apologetics gotchas, humility vs. victory, and how online arguments are getting more technical—and more honest. What should Catholics, Protestants, and atheists actually do next?

00:00 Rise of Gen Z Catholicism
02:47 Personal Faith Journeys
04:54 Debating Apologetics
07:33 Youth and Theological Exploration
10:26 Navigating Online Religious Debates
30:22 The Role of Apologetics in Faith
34:26 The Futility of Online Religious Debates
36:32 The Impact of Apologetics on Personal Faith
43:31 The Evolution of Christian-Atheist Debates
49:41 Advice for Catholic Apologists and Atheists

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

My infographic about this case: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1a6-vYf6qIZ8r9xS3G_dRGTaF6qi-hOVK/view?usp=sharing

A new “victim” has entered the culture war stage at the Supreme Court. After the “No Cake” baker and the “No Website” designer, meet “No Therapy” Kaley— a Christian counselor recruited by well-funded right-wing legal groups to challenge Colorado’s bipartisan ban on conversion therapy for minors.

In this episode, I break down the Salazar case, the PR tactics behind it, and the dangerous history of conversion therapy. We’ll look at how billionaires bankroll fake plaintiffs, how discredited psychologists invented “reparative therapy,” and why banning conversion therapy is actually a win for both kids and conservative faith communities.

00:00 Background on Conversion Therapy Laws
01:46 Manufacturing a Victim
03:33 The Case of Kaley Chiles
04:52 Public Narrative and Legal Arguments
09:53 The History and Pseudoscience of Conversion Therapy
16:00 Impact on Religious Communities
23:02 Conclusion and Personal Reflections

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

On this episode of The Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with SC Neely—therapist, author of 30+ books, and specialist in religious trauma and queer/trans identity. We explore the real signs of religious trauma, how it overlaps with complex PTSD, and the unique challenges queer people face when deconstructing from high-control religious environments.

We cover the roadmap from questioning to deconstruction to rebuilding identity, how trauma shows up in the body, why labels can feel overwhelming, and practical steps for reclaiming identity, sexuality, and community outside of religion.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your religious past still affects your identity today, this conversation will give you clarity, compassion, and tools for healing.

00:00 Understanding Religious Trauma
08:28 Navigating Identity After Leaving Religion
29:15 Practical Steps for Rebuilding Life Post-Religion
41:47 Recognizing Self-Sabotage from Religious Trauma
46:47 Dealing with Feeling Behind in Life
51:01 Managing Anger After Leaving Religion
54:54 Exploring Queer Spaces and Identities
01:10:49 The Lifelong Journey of Healing from Trauma

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode, I share my raw and personal journey through Catholicism—from being raised in a suburban Catholic family to becoming an intense religious fundamentalist who nearly entered a monastery. I explain what it was like to give every waking moment to prayer, theology, and the dream of becoming a monk, only to have my life upended when I was rejected for being gay.

What followed was a painful process of leaving not just Catholicism, but religion itself. I open up about the collapse of my community, meaning, and identity—and how I rebuilt my life through running ultramarathons, reconnecting with purpose, and creating content to help others on their journey.

This isn’t an argument against belief; it’s a memoir of faith, loss, discovery, and resilience. Whether you’re religious, questioning, or completely secular, I hope my story resonates with you.

00:00 My Religious Beginnings
02:37 Religious Awakening
05:29 Deepening Faith
11:42 Embracing Fundamentalism and the Latin Mass
15:36 COVID Lockdowns and Monastic Aspirations
19:18 Rejection and College Life
22:04 Life Decisions
30:16 Questioning Catholic Teachings
32:46 Departing Catholicism
35:08 Struggles with Identity
38:07 Finding New Meaning
41:40 Embracing a New Life
46:55 Reflections on Religion and Personal Growth
53:19 Living Authentically

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.