Intrinsically Ordered

What happens when you stop learning about other religions from Christian apologists and actually read their sacred texts?

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I'm joined by River Ward (@SiennaRiverWard), a comparative religion content creator who has spent years studying the Bible, Quran, Bhagavad Gita, Tao Te Ching, Book of Mormon, and other foundational religious texts.

Raised in conservative evangelical Christianity, River originally began studying other religions to defend her Christian faith. But the more she read, the more her understanding of God, religion, and belief began to change.

We discuss what Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Daoism actually teach, how religious traditions understand God differently, and why the beliefs of religious practitioners don't always reflect their sacred texts.

We also explore the limitations of Christian apologetics, the differences between religion and cults, the relationship between belief and belonging, and why River continues to find beauty in religion despite identifying as agnostic.

Follow River Ward:
Instagram: @sienna.river.ward
YouTube: @SiennaRiverWard

00:00 Comparative Religion Online
01:23 What Counts as Religion
04:29 From Apologetics to Anthropology
10:00 Reading the Core Texts
14:26 Paradigm Shifts in Daoism
21:24 Confucius to the Gita
26:10 Revisiting the Quran
31:53 Text Versus Tradition
36:57 Mormonism and Upanishads
43:10 What Does Belief Mean
47:44 Defining God and Experience
53:39 Whats Next in Her Journey
58:09 Charity as the Heart

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode, I sit down with Catholic feminist, lay theologian, and spiritual director-in-training Salina Bear to talk about her unlikely journey from Reformed Protestantism, through deconstruction, and ultimately into the Catholic Church.

Salina shares how growing up with Calvinist ideas about God led her to question Christianity from an early age, why she eventually stepped away from organized religion, and how an existential crisis during COVID unexpectedly brought faith back into her life. She also tells the story of attending Eucharistic adoration for the first time convinced she needed to become Catholic.

We also get into some of the questions that have made Selena's online work controversial: Can you be a Catholic feminist? What does the Church actually teach about primacy of conscience? Can faithful Catholics disagree with Church teaching? Is contraception an infallible teaching? And why does online Catholicism often look so different from the Catholicism people actually encounter in their parishes?

Finally, we talk about her marriage to an Orthodox Christian, spiritual trauma, deconstruction and reconstruction, online traditionalism, and why Salina is training to become a spiritual director for people who want to heal from harmful experiences with Christianity without necessarily abandoning their faith.

00:00 Meet Salina Bear
02:49 Growing Up Reformed
03:53 Calvinism and God Image
07:29 Teen Faith and Doubts
09:02 Church Leadership Disillusionment
13:43 Stepping Away to Deconstruct
15:01 COVID Panic and Return to Prayer
20:41 First Mass and Liturgy Surprise
22:33 Adoration Changed Everything
26:47 Catholic and Orthodox Marriage
35:53 Two Traditions Marriage
39:51 Conscience and Autonomy
41:40 Online Trad Toxicity
44:24 Birth Control & Forming Conscience
56:46 Reading Church Authority
01:03:13 Becoming Spiritual Director

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Apostate’s Imprimatur, Colin and I react to Jesusandwhatnot’s video titled "How the Communist Manifesto Proves God's Existence," explanation of Aquinas’s famous Five Ways: the arguments from motion, efficient causality, contingency, degrees of perfection, and final causality.

We dig into act and potency, infinite regress, first causes, divine simplicity, Aristotle, physics vs. metaphysics, and the assumptions hiding underneath these arguments. Even if we grant some version of a “first cause” or “unmoved mover,” how do we get from there to an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving personal God, much less the God of Christianity?

Along the way, we ask whether Aquinas’s arguments describe reality, whether confusing someone with technical philosophical language actually proves anything, and why arguments that have been debated for centuries are still sometimes presented as obvious and uncontested proofs of God.

Noah's original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUOZcbNeKIE

00:00 Who Is Jesusandwhatnot
09:33 Aquinas Five Ways Intro
10:26 Motion Proof Explained
13:47 Potency and Ontology Debate
26:10 Causation Chain and Regress
31:50 Physics Pushback and Forces
34:03 Nothing Truly Begins
36:32 From Prime Mover to God
39:46 Special Pleading and Language
41:02 Perfection Smuggled In
52:29 Efficient Cause Argument
54:23 Physics vs Metaphysics Definitions
01:01:59 Infinite Regress and Cosmology
01:06:18 Contingency and Nothingness
01:08:09 Third Way Rehash
01:12:58 Logic Above God
01:16:07 Blendered Proofs Critique
01:17:22 Degrees of Perfection Setup
01:20:49 Fire Causes Heat Debunked
01:23:13 Nominalism and Genus Problems
01:25:26 Goodness Category Errors
01:34:00 Begging the Maximum Cause
01:35:44 Fifth Way Explained
01:36:59 Teleology Meets Evolution
01:39:10 Ends Are Human Uses
01:45:38 Special Pleading Intelligence
01:49:36 Modern Physics Pushback
01:54:33 Summa Ethics Detour
01:57:52 Thomism As Party Trick

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

After seeing Catholic apologist Noah ( @Jesus.andwhatnot )  argue that pornography may cause homosexual desires, I decided to dig into the actual research.

In this video, I work through more than two dozen academic sources covering sexual orientation, sexual identity formation, pornography use, childhood abuse, correlation vs. causation, sexual fluidity, and sexual orientation change efforts. I also explain some of the basic research concepts that can help us distinguish a provocative correlation from evidence that one thing actually causes another.

As a gay former traditional Catholic apologist myself, I also want to talk about why these claims matter beyond an academic debate. Ideas about sexual orientation being caused or changed by particular behaviors can quickly overlap with claims underlying conversion therapy and sexual orientation change efforts.

My sources: https://gayextrad.substack.com/p/debunking-with-actual-studies-does

Noah's original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXtY2xa9lFQ

00:00 Does Porn Make You Gay?
01:17 It's Not a Study
01:34 Survey Not Study
01:58 Orientation Is Complex
03:44 Identity Attraction Behavior
05:54 Porn Survey Problems
12:32 Correlation Not Causation
14:43 How To Test It
17:17 Puberty And Timing
18:34 What The Data Show
21:54 Abuse Claim Reversed
28:04 Hypothetheory Critique
29:44 Disordered Language Harm
31:28 Conversion Therapy Harms
32:38 Causality And Methods
35:55 Expert Consensus Matters
41:12 Motte Bailey

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Is the resurrection of Jesus actually a historical fact or does the argument only work if you begin with Christian assumptions?

In part two of our deep dive into the historical case for the Resurrection, Colin and I examine some of the most popular arguments used by Christian apologists: the claim that the apostles wouldn’t die for a lie, the supposed eyewitness accounts of the risen Jesus, the 500 witnesses mentioned by Paul, the early creed in 1 Corinthians 15, and attempts to use probability and Bayes’ theorem to argue that the Resurrection is historically likely.

We look at what we actually know about the deaths of the apostles, how the resurrection narratives developed across the Gospels, what Paul does—and doesn’t—claim to have witnessed, and whether early belief in the Resurrection is the same thing as evidence that it actually happened.

00:00 Recap Minimal Facts
02:20 Escaping Apologetics Maze
03:55 Apostles Die for Lie
11:11 Roman Guards Doubts
24:10 500 Witnesses Problem
26:49 Women at the Tomb Motif
29:08 Doubting Thomas and Belief
31:32 Memory and Legend Growth
35:46 Mythic Tropes and Other Gospels
39:57 Paul and the 500 Witnesses
50:25 Visions and Bereavement Experiences
54:48 Skepticism About 500
56:52 Pauline Creed Timeline
01:02:37 Memory And Mythmaking
01:09:44 God Assumption Debate
01:11:20 Additive Evidence Claim
01:13:35 What Resurrection Means

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with  @SigurdAuthentic , founder of Gay Unmasked, to hear his coming out story and explore what it actually takes to accept that you're gay.

https://www.skool.com/gay-unmasked-4697/about

Sigurd opens up about recognizing his attraction to men as a teenager, falling for his male best friend, wrestling with stereotypes about gay men, and eventually reframing what being gay meant to him. We talk about masculinity, strength, CBT, shame, self-acceptance, dating, coming out to family and friends, and why building a life around purpose became so important after coming out.

We also dig into the philosophy behind Gay Unmasked, Sigurd's growing community for gay men, and his argument that coming out shouldn't be about asking other people for permission to be yourself.

00:00 Coming Out Is Ongoing
02:15 Early Signs and Denial
04:19 Growing Up Around Masculinity
11:16 Accepting It at 18
13:25 Mac and First Real Feelings
18:16 Reframing Gay Identity
21:51 CBT and Strength Mindset
25:44 First Confession to a Friend
30:01 Coming Out to Dad and Friends
31:46 Tinder Screenshot Plot Twist
36:01 Strength as Shield
36:29 Gym as Emotional Outlet
38:40 Life Moves On Mindset
40:39 Unmasking and Alan Watts
47:06 After Coming Out Purpose
49:21 Redirecting the Fight
55:56 Dating Men and Identity
01:05:44 Community and CBT Coaching
01:11:33 Success Stories and Farewell

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I took an atheist and a Mormon on a road trip to St. Mary’s, Kansas to experience the SSPX firsthand.

We attended a traditional Latin Mass, toured the massive Immaculata, talked with members of the community, and tried to understand what draws people to this intensely traditional form of Catholicism. Coming from three very different religious backgrounds (ex-traditional Catholic / current atheist, former Pentecostal / current atheist, and practicing Latter-day Saint), we each walked away with very different reactions.

We talk about the beauty (and boredom) of the Latin Mass, Catholic tradition, relics, hell, Vatican II, the SSPX’s conflict with Rome, how outsiders are treated, and whether this community actually succeeds at its stated mission of saving souls.

00:00 Heliocentric & All Those In Favor
01:41 What Is the SSPX
03:24 Expectations Going In
05:03 Road Trip to St Marys
06:43 First Sight of the Church
08:22 Drone Shots and Suspicious Locals
10:12 Medieval Dinner and Hotel
11:34 Mass Morning and Naming the Building
13:35 Inside the Immaculata First Impressions
16:48 Silence Sunlight and Getting Shushed
18:41 Latin Mass Reactions
22:11 Relics and Ranking Spirituality
30:27 SSPX Identity and Excommunication Denial
33:28 Latin Mass Confusion
34:10 Sermon Advice: Read Books
39:24 Hellfire Afterlife
41:21 Communion Rail Awkwardness
45:59 Tour Guides And Lunch
52:55 Trad Culture And Politics
54:27 Human Stories And Mary
59:17 Seeker Friendly Critique
01:05:08 Final Takeaways Next Steps

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Can history actually establish that Jesus rose from the dead?

In this episode of Atheist Imprimatur, Colin and I take on one of the central arguments in Christian apologetics: that the Resurrection isn't merely something Christians believe by faith, but something we have good historical reasons to accept as fact.

We examine the “minimal facts” approach associated with Gary Habermas, claims about the empty tomb, eyewitness testimony, early Christian belief, and the role our assumptions about God and miracles play in evaluating the evidence.

More importantly, we ask a basic question that often gets lost in apologetics: What can historians actually establish—and where does historical evidence end and faith begin?

This is Part 1 of our very long attempt to answer that question.

00:00 Why This Resurrection Video
07:28 Apologetics as Reassurance
11:13 Faith Versus Evidence
13:06 Appeal to Authority Problems
23:22 God Exists Then Miracles
27:42 Supernatural Explanations Spiral
32:23 Is God Really 50/50?
34:11 Historians and Resurrection Claims
42:16 Easter Meditation Not Proof
44:38 Habermas and Minimal Facts
52:38 Three Es and Empty Tomb
56:46 Sherlock Holmes Historiography
01:00:57 Empty Tomb Sources and Context
01:04:17 Empty Tomb Objections
01:08:42 Why Not Produce the Body
01:10:53 Acts and Early Movement
01:13:35 Roman Religious Tolerance
01:16:17 Three Explanations Critique
01:21:35 Tomb Worship Skepticism
01:25:19 They Wouldnt Die for a Lie

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I sat down with  ⁨@onehandpolitics⁩ and  ⁨@GregFromVideo1⁩   to compare three very different journeys out of Christianity. We talk about growing up Catholic and Evangelical, youth group culture, religious colleges, belonging, political identity, critical thinking, and what life looks like after leaving faith behind. Rather than debating theology, we explore why people believe, why people leave, and what replaces religion once you've built your identity around it. Whether you're religious, deconstructing, or simply curious, I hope this conversation gives you something to think about.

00:00 Mason's Backstory
03:36 Greg Youth Group Spiral
06:46 Cade Catholic Roots
09:21 College Faith Cracks
12:58 Scientology and Critical Thinking
16:23 Mason Deconstruction Breakpoint
22:54 Politics Meets Religion
27:18 Biola Rules and Side B
31:54 Belonging Beyond Religion
38:19 Calvinism And NPC Thinking
44:47 Will Religion Keep Declining?
54:04 Is Atheism A Religion
58:23 BITE Model Control Tactics
01:03:28 In Groups Define Out Groups
01:08:23 Tribalism And Power
01:10:46 Which Atheists Irritate
01:27:54 Science Is Not Ethics
01:34:10 Religion Can Liberate

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

DISCLAIMER: None of today's video should be used as medical advice. I am not a doctor, nor do I have any degrees in psychology/medication/etc. Only take medication under the supervision of a licensed medical provider.

After being diagnosed with ADHD and spending the past year on medication, I've started looking very differently at my years in traditional Catholicism, my love of religious debates, and even the way I built this YouTube channel. Matt Walsh recently commented that 'psychiatry has done nothing for us,' and I use that clip as a jumping off point in today's video.

In this video, I explore my hypothesis that ideological conflict can sometimes function as stimulation for an ADHD brain. I talk about how Catholic ritual and structure genuinely helped me manage symptoms I didn't yet understand, why I kept gravitating toward increasingly extreme religious positions, and why confrontation became such a powerful source of stimulation for me.

I also share, for the first time, my experience taking ADHD medication: the fears I had about medication, masculinity, addiction, and changing my personality—and what actually happened after a year of treatment.

00:00 - 1: Introduction

01:54 - Outline

02:09 - Disclaimers

03:02 - 2: What Does An ADHD Brain Look Like?

08:19 - 3: Why ADHD'ers Self-Medicate With Stimuli

10:29 - 4: My Hypothesis: Extremism As Self Medication

16:09 - 5: How Catholicism 'Helped' My ADHD

21:29 - 6: ADHD As An Atheist YouTuber

22:50 - 7: How I Got on ADHD Medication

32:24 - 8.1: How Meds Have Changed Me

34:45 - 8.2: What Meds Mean for My Channel

36:21 - 9:  Meds Aren't Perfect

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.