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As someone who was once a zealous traditional Catholic—praying daily rosaries, attending Latin Mass, and even discerning monastic life—I've since deconverted and now reflect critically on the movement from personal experience.

This isn’t a theological takedown. It’s a candid, off-the-cuff reflection on what I saw inside the movement, why it appeals to so many (especially young people and converts), and the serious questions it raises about growth, retention, and cultural relevance.

We’ll cover: Why the movement feels powerful but might not be sustainable, the illusion of rapid growth in Latin Mass parishes, why many kids raised traditionally still leave the Church, the tight link between American conservatism and traditional Catholicism, how convert zeal often idealizes tradition without fully understanding it, whether you’re deep in the trad world, newly curious, or trying to make sense of what’s happening in the Church today, I hope this video gives you something to think about.

00:00 Personal Background and Deconversion
00:48 Setting the Stage: Traditional Catholicism
02:26 The Appeal and Growth of the Movement
02:58 Why This Topic Matters
03:36 Personal Journey Through Traditional Catholicism
05:39 Lack of Data and Personal Observations
06:52 Illusion of Traditional Growth
10:18 Retention and Conversion Issues
12:24 Geographical and Political Context
16:27 Convert Dominated Movement
19:23 Mental Health and Traditionalism
21:57 Interpersonal Issues in the Movement
22:43 Surface Level Kindness and Parish Politics
25:21 Cult-like Dynamics and Isolation
26:58 Performative Holiness and Scrupulosity
29:58 Intellectualism and Apologetics
31:59 Misconceptions of Happiness and Fulfillment
39:44 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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For years, I begged God to make me straight. I read every book, watched every lecture, and tried every method of "healing." But what if being queer isn’t something to fix? What if it's something you could choose — not out of rebellion, but out of love, honesty, and freedom?
In this deeply personal episode, I reflect on my journey from internalized homophobia to joyful self-acceptance, from Catholic doctrine to queer community. We explore the concept of identity, the weight of “coming out,” and what it really means to choose love — without conditions.

00:00 – I Begged God to Make Me Straight  
01:23 – Would I Choose to Be Straight Now?  
02:07 – Growing Up Catholic and Closeted  
03:01 – “I Am” vs. “I Experience”  
04:13 – Why Christians Fear the Words “I Am Gay”  
05:14 – Identity, Honesty, and the Label “Queer”  
07:42 – The Fork in the Road: Queer vs. Christian Paths  
10:09 – Why I Chose the Queer Path — And Found Life

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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I got to sit down with a professional catholic apologist to have perhaps the most comprehensive discussion on natural law & gay marriage. We originally planned an hour discussion on a number of topics but found enough to get into just on this issue - and then went for almost two hours. I enjoyed having a thoughtful, long-form discussion on such an emotional topic. Joe's liked talking enough with me that he'll be posted the entire conversation on his channel - so perhaps we'll have an influx of dialogues with other prominent apologists.

(00:00) - Catholic Sexual Ethics and LGBTQ Rights
(11:43) - Natural Law and Catholic Sexual Ethics
(21:43) - Ethical Frameworks in LGBTQ Dialogue
(26:10) - Moral Absolutes in Societal Legislation
(33:21) - The Biological Basis of Marriage
(41:30) - Defining Marriage and Parenting Rights
(46:14) - State Interest in Marriage Potency
(50:16) - Legal Recognitions of Marriage Potency
(01:01:36) - Sexual Double Standards and Societal Morality
(01:08:08) - Exploring Ethics in LGBTQ Relationships
(01:19:28) - Same-Sex Marriage and Family Dynamics
(01:23:51) - Exploring Marriage Potency and Legal Recognition

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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Are Catholic sacraments truly channels of divine grace—or just powerful human rituals? In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we question the supernatural claims behind sacraments like baptism and marriage. With guest Colin, we explore their historical roots, psychological impact, and striking similarities to rituals in other cultures. From a botched baptism to the Church’s evolving rules, we unpack what these rites really mean and why they matter. Join us for a critical, respectful look at belief, ritual, and the fine line between faith and magic.

(00:00) - Critique of Catholic Sacraments
(07:35) - Deeper Understanding of Catholic Sacraments
(19:49) - Exploring Catholic Sacraments and Belief
(31:16) - Complexities of Catholic Sacraments
(35:47) - Development of Catholic Sacraments
(39:50) - Sacraments as Ritual Magic
(44:52) - Significance of Catholic Rituals
(51:11) - Religious Unity and Understanding

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To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Does faith require evidence, or is experience enough? In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Noah from  ⁨@Jesus_and_Whatnot⁩   to debate Catholicism, the role of suffering, religious disagreement, and whether faith can be rationally justified. We dive into the toughest questions:

Does the Catholic Church have clear moral teachings, or is it all contradiction?
Why does God allow suffering, and is it truly necessary?
If the Pope is infallible, why do Catholics disagree on so much?
What would it take for an atheist to believe in God again?

🔥 This discussion goes deep into Catholic apologetics, philosophical arguments, and the personal journeys that shape our beliefs. Whether you're Catholic, atheist, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge your thinking!

00:00 – Intro & Guest Introduction
02:15 – What Led You to Question Catholicism?
08:30 – The Problem of Religious Disagreement
15:10 – Can the Church Be Unified When Even Priests Disagree?
21:45 – The Role of the Pope in Resolving Confusion
28:20 – Does Faith Require Evidence?
34:10 – Why Does God Allow Suffering?
41:00 – The Catholic Church’s Rules on Marriage & Morality
48:30 – If God is Real, Why Doesn’t He Make Himself Clear?
55:40 – Can the Church Even Define Mortal Sin?
1:02:25 – Why Doesn’t the Pope Answer Dubia (Doctrinal Questions)?
1:08:45 – What Would Convince an Atheist to Believe Again?
1:14:00 – Does Religion Make Life Better or Worse?
1:19:30 – Is Catholicism’s Appeal Just Suffering & Submission?
1:22:10 – Final Thoughts & Wrap-Up

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After years of grappling with this question, I finally have an answer—thanks to Interstellar. This film unknowingly lays out the six conditions that could actually convince me a higher intelligence exists. But even if that were true… would it lead me to religion?

Join me as I break down the philosophy, science, and religious implications behind Interstellar’s mysterious guiding force—and why it’s still a better "God" than any religious claim I’ve ever heard.

00:00 - My Journey from Catholicism to Atheism
00:24 - Interstellar and the Idea of God
01:17 - The Ghost in Interstellar: A Clear Communication
02:48 - The First Condition: Intelligent, Direct Communication
05:16 - The Second Condition: Supernatural but Measurable Events
06:12 - The Third Condition: Useful, Non-Trivial Knowledge
07:37 - The Problem of Divine Hiddenness
09:03 - Even If God Exists, Religion Still Fails
10:51 - The Leap from God to Religious Dogma

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In this video, I break down my debate with Michael Knowles on Jubilee about the topic of same-sex marriage, philosophy, and conservative ideology. We go deep into metaphysics, logic, and how anti-LGBT arguments are structured to sound airtight—but fall apart under scrutiny.

Michael and I come from the same religious movement, and I used to believe the same things he argues today. But as I studied philosophy and deconstructed my faith, I realized just how flimsy these arguments are.

Stick with me as we explore nominalism vs. realism, the Texas sharpshooter fallacy, and why Michael’s claims on metaphysical reality don’t hold up. This video will equip you to counter these arguments in everyday conversations and protect our rights from bad-faith actors.

00:00 - Introduction: My Debate with Michael Knowles
02:30 - The Core Argument: Does Gay Marriage Exist?
06:45 - Michael’s First Mistake: The Realism vs. Nominalism Trap
11:20 - The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy: Cherry-Picking History
15:55 - Why Metaphysics Can’t Define Legal Marriage
21:10 - The Logical Impossibility Fallacy (And Why It’s B.S.)
26:40 - Why Michael’s Argument is Ultimately Religious, Not Logical
32:15 - Final Thoughts: How to Counter These Arguments IRL

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Catholic apologist Trent Horn recently posted a video titled "The Sex Questions Almost No One Can Answer", where he attempts to justify Catholic sexual ethics using Natural Law philosophy. But are these arguments sound?

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As a former devout Catholic and apologist, I break down the flaws in this ideology and show how these outdated beliefs impact real people—through shame, control, and even political legislation.

From ‘intrinsic evils’ to absurd rules on contraception, let's talk about why these arguments don't hold up and why you don’t have to buy into them.

If you enjoy this content and want to support my work, join my Patreon for exclusive access to my Discord community of ex-Catholics, queer folks, and free thinkers. Let's have these conversations where they matter.

Patreon: patreon.com/c/gayextrad
Podcast: Intrinsically Ordered (Available on all major platforms)
Socials: @GayExTrad

00:00 - A Catholic Apologist's "Unanswerable" Sex Question
01:35 - Why Non-Catholics Should Care
02:23 - The Weird Catholic Obsession with Sex
04:09 - Does Feeling Disgusted = Morally Wrong?
06:42 - The Catholic “Natural Law” Scam
08:32 - The Ethics of Consent vs. Catholic Control
11:07 - The Debate Trick Catholics Always Use
14:22 - Catholic Sexual Rules Are Wild
18:07 - Sex, Marriage & Fertility: The Catholic Hypocrisy
23:35 - The Rise of Catholic Theocracy in Politics
29:18 - Leaving Catholicism & Finding Freedom

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Jason—a long-time friend, ultramarathoner, and secular Buddhist—to explore life beyond dogma. We dive deep into questions of meaning, suffering, and personal transformation. Jason shares his journey from childhood trauma, addiction, and depression to healing, self-acceptance, and the liberating philosophy of secular Buddhism.

We tackle the fear of leaving behind rigid belief systems, the reality of self-imposed suffering, and the beauty of finding your own path. Whether you’re deconstructing faith, seeking purpose, or just curious about running 200+ miles through the wilderness, this conversation is for you.

🔹 The illusion of certainty in religion
🔹 What it really means to "find yourself"
🔹 The power of suffering as a teacher
🔹 Ultramarathons as a metaphor for life
🔹 Reframing trauma and choosing a new narrative

If you’ve ever questioned what’s next after faith—or just want to hear an incredible journey of resilience—this episode is a must-listen.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction & Guest Introduction
01:18 – Why People Fear Leaving Religion
03:06 – What If Life Has No Meaning?
05:00 – Creating Meaning vs. Finding It
10:59 – The Role of Suffering in Growth
15:31 – How Religion Becomes a Coping Mechanism
17:30 – Hitting Rock Bottom: Alcoholism & Trauma
22:40 – Running From Pain vs. Facing It
29:09 – The Turning Point: Therapy & Healing
33:56 – How Trauma Affects the Brain
40:17 – The Difference Between Pain & Suffering
41:44 – Living in the Present: The Power of Mindfulness
47:10 – What Therapy is REALLY Like
50:48 – Running 250 Miles—Why Choose to Suffer?
54:55 – The Mental Side of Ultra-Endurance
59:46 – The Freedom of Letting Go
1:04:05 – Choosing Your Own Path & Building Community
1:10:22 – Finding Belonging Outside of Religion
1:12:03 – How to Start Living YOUR Life Today
1:28:18 – Final Thoughts & Takeaways

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What if you're gay but don't want to be gay? Jason Evert has the perfect solution, just hate yourself. He gives us a 'third option' to homosexuality where you can hate yourself, but publicly. Someone please patent this man's genius methods and scientific tests of what marriage must include.

But in all seriousness, Jason Evert is the Final Boss of catholic apologists who do nothing but create word salads to confuse people and pad church teaching. He's the one that started me down the catholic rabbit-hole of chastity speakers & how to deal with SSA, so I figured I'd give a humorous response to his Ascension Presents video.

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