Intrinsically Ordered

I sat down with Darian, a gay creator who once wanted to be a Catholic priest and now runs an OnlyFans—while still attending Mass. We talked about scrupulosity, being queer in the church, spirituality beyond dogma, and the surprising peace he found in ritual. Darian's story is messy, funny, thoughtful, and deeply honest—and it challenges what it means to be both gay and Catholic in a polarized world.

You can follow Darian on instagram and tikTok - https://www.instagram.com/darianblackofficial/

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:17 Darien's Background and Journey
01:45 Growing Up Catholic in the South
04:42 Struggles with Catholic Teachings on Sexuality
06:35 Coming Out and Family Reactions
22:09 Exploring Religion and Spirituality
25:27 Starting Social Media and OnlyFans
26:21 Finding Peace in Daily Mass
27:30 Transition to Social Media Success
29:51 Balancing Faith and Career
30:54 Views on Church Teachings and Sexuality
32:59 Community and Acceptance
37:56 Catholic Converts and Personality Types
45:30 Advice for Young LGBTQ+ Catholics
51:37 Final Thoughts and Where to Connect

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Jared from Heliocentric joins me to talk about his experience attending a Latin Mass for the first time and what it reveals about the explosive growth of Rad Trad Catholicism online. We dive into the aesthetics, the online media machine, the psychology of conversion, and how social media fuels religious radicalization. We also reflect on sexuality, the pain of being gay in the Church, and our shared experiences with Jordan Peterson. This one goes deep.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:23 Humorous Banter and Bible References
01:06 Jared's YouTube Channel and Background
02:37 Discussion on Traditional Catholicism
03:25 Rad Trad Influencers and Online Presence
05:02 Experiences with Latin Mass and Orthodox Church
23:07 Jared's Personal Journey and Challenges
33:03 Theological Reflections on Homosexuality
41:15 Struggles of Celibate Gay Christians
43:45 Navigating Catholic Teachings on Homosexuality
46:19 Conversion Therapy and Childhood Trauma
47:33 The Hierarchy of Catholic Vocations
49:35 The Reality of Online Religious Discourse
53:32 Emotional Honesty in Religious Conversations
54:28 The Role of Therapy in Leaving Religion
57:46 Personal Experiences with Faith and Atheism
01:02:47 Debating Religion Online vs. In Person
01:16:50 Behind the Scenes of Jubilee Debates
01:22:05 The Intensity of Live Debates
01:23:00 Reflecting on the Peterson Debate
01:24:38 The Hero's Journey in Jubilee Format
01:25:41 Peterson's Performance and Public Perception
01:29:10 The Evolution of Jordan Peterson's Ideology
01:33:01 Personal Impact and Critique of Peterson
01:44:12 Debating Religion and Atheism
01:48:27 The Role of Conversations in Deconstruction
02:00:00 The Influence of Online Debates
02:02:43 Navigating Hyper-Niche Content
02:03:14 Engaging with Online Audiences
02:04:12 The Reality of Internet Fame
02:05:07 The Fear of Being Misunderstood
02:06:06 Balancing Authenticity and Reach
02:14:38 The Ethics of Church Audits
02:16:25 Conversations on Faith and Belief
02:17:54 The Complexity of Deconversion
02:22:28 Debating Religion and Epistemology
02:30:06 Reflecting on Personal Narratives
02:34:44 Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I’m joined again by Noah from Jesus and Whatnot for part two of our deep-dive into what the Bible says—or doesn’t say—about homosexuality. As a gay atheist and former almost-priest, I argue that the biblical texts don’t clearly address modern queer relationships. Noah, now a confirmed Catholic, brings the counterpoint: that Scripture plainly condemns all homosexual intercourse. We cover Leviticus, Romans, Paul’s invented Greek words, death penalty laws, and whether the Bible is as clear as people say it is—or whether everyone’s just projecting their own beliefs onto it.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:33 The Origin of the Debate
01:02 Noah's Stance on Biblical Condemnation
03:55 Leviticus and Homosexuality
18:46 New Testament Perspectives
18:59 Romans 1:26-27 Analysis
31:11 Historical Context and Modern Interpretations
40:56 Debating Biblical Interpretation of Homosexuality
41:38 Contextual Analysis of St. Paul's Writings
42:19 Modern vs. Historical Views on Homosexuality
44:04 The Role of Historical Context in Biblical Interpretation
46:04 Analogies and Their Limitations
48:35 Revisiting Biblical Texts and Modern Understandings
55:17 The Debate on Capital Punishment and Biblical Teachings
59:06 The Case for Progressive Interpretation
01:14:10 Final Thoughts and Conclusions

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I got to sit down with  @bradyvandruenen55 , a former Catholic school student and hockey player from small-town Canada, to hear his powerful story of growing up gay in a conservative Catholic environment. We dive into Catholic sex ed, hockey locker room culture, the mental gymnastics of trying to be someone you're not, and what it was like to finally break free and come out. This one’s for anyone who’s ever felt trapped by faith, family, or fear.

You can follow Brady on:
Youtube:  @bradyvandruenen55  
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bradyvandruenen
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bradyvandruenen/

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:14 Brady's TikTok Journey
03:12 Growing Up Catholic
05:22 Sex Education and Early Conflicts
08:48 Struggles with Identity
18:25 Coming Out and Self-Acceptance
24:07 The Journey of Self-Acceptance
24:30 Coming Out to Friends and Colleagues
26:15 Family Reactions and Challenges
31:21 Navigating High School and Religion
32:08 Experiences in Hockey Culture
38:02 Life After Coming Out
38:17 Advocacy and Future Goals
46:05 Final Thoughts and Advice

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

This is the ultimate guide to coming out—philosophically, practically, and personally. Whether you’re just starting to question your identity, preparing for your first conversation, or figuring out how to rebuild your life after coming out, this video is for you.

As someone who almost became a Catholic priest and now helps coach others through the coming out process, I’ve condensed everything I know—from identity labels to safety planning, to navigating family, faith, and fear—into this one video. You’ll find conversation scripts, tips, community, and real-life encouragement.

Your life doesn’t start when you have all the answers. It starts the moment you get to breathe.

00:00 Intro
02:15 Understanding the Coming Out Process
11:58 The Importance of Labels and Identity
14:18 Planning and Safety Considerations
16:49 Building a Coming Out Plan
20:21 Navigating Conversations and Reactions
26:11 The Reality of Life After Coming Out
28:50 Cade's Personal Coming Out Letter
32:46 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Cade chats with Evelyn from Leave Laugh Love about the hidden world of Newman Guide colleges — those elite, ultra-conservative Catholic universities designed to "protect" young adults from the real world. Evelyn shares her experience attending Franciscan University, the cult-like enforcement of Catholic morality, the double lives queer students are forced to live, and the gaslighting that comes with leaving. We dive into everything from purity culture to fake academic rigor, campus surveillance, and why these colleges are obsessed with Jordan Peterson and Lila Rose. If you’re wondering whether these schools are holy havens or Catholic cults — this episode is for you.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
01:08 Criteria for Newman Guide Schools
03:05 Personal Experiences at Newman Guide Schools
06:23 Life at Franciscan University
21:25 Homeschooling and Academic Challenges
24:29 Critical Thinking and Education
36:47 Student Life and Social Dynamics
42:16 The Role of Religion in Student Life
45:20 Debating Sin and Personal Relationships
49:16 Questioning Research and Studies
01:09:45 Leaving the Catholic University
01:21:21 Final Thoughts and Advice

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Join the community and join the group discussion on discord: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

I’m joined by Kevin for a deep dive into one of Catholicism’s most emotionally compelling and scientifically dubious claims: Eucharistic miracles. You’ve heard the stories—bread turning into heart tissue, bleeding hosts, and baffled scientists—but how well do these claims hold up to scrutiny?

Kevin walks us through the actual studies (or lack thereof), the role of contamination, misleading narratives, and the difference between scientific integrity and religious marketing. We talk Lonciano, Buenos Aires, and Tlaxcala, plus the Catholic scientists themselves who have started to speak out.

If you’ve ever felt guilt-tripped into staying Catholic because of these miracles—or you just want to understand the facts—this episode is for you.

00:00 Introduction to Eucharistic Miracles
00:34 Popular Eucharistic Miracle Claims
02:18 Scientific Investigations and Findings
04:16 Catholic Beliefs and Practices
07:57 Skepticism and Scientific Critique
20:39 Blood Type Analysis in Miracles
37:43 DNA Evidence and Its Implications
38:55 DNA Findings and Supernatural Claims
40:13 Scientific Skepticism and Contamination
45:40 Dr. Kiers' Experiment and Findings
48:05 Dr. Trian Cos' Skepticism
55:00 Economic and Social Implications of Miracles
58:55 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Jordan Peterson is famous for inspiring many to take religion seriously — but for me, he had the opposite effect. In this video, I walk you through how reading Maps of Meaning turned me from a devout Catholic who almost became a priest into an atheist — and how Peterson’s ideas unexpectedly helped me accept myself as a gay man. We'll dive into belief, metaphorical substrates, value hierarchies, meta-narratives, and why I eventually walked away from Peterson too. Strap in — it’s a journey.

00:00 Discovering Jordan Peterson's Work
03:26 Realizing Natural Explanations for Religious Benefits
05:03 Understanding Peterson's Concept of God
08:07 Metaphorical Substrate and Its Influence
09:46 The Power of Stories and Archetypes
15:35 Meta-Narratives: Finding Purpose and Direction
17:43 Questioning the Need for a Supernatural God
18:50 The Role of Belief in Religion
25:54 Embracing My Sexuality: Peterson's Indirect Influence
28:58 Why I Left Jordan Peterson Behind
30:32 Critique of Peterson's Views and Methods
34:11 Conclusion: Life Beyond Dogma

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

On today's episode, we react to a 27 page document that reports to take people from agnosticism to catholicism. Myself and Colin (ex-traditional catholics) debunk this document while getting an outsider's perspective from our friend Greg (never been very religious). Let's see how catholic apologetics play out to some experienced debaters and a fresh set of eyes.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
02:39 Discussion on Proving Religion
08:11 The Big Bang and God's Existence
09:30 Critique of the Big Bang Argument
15:54 Philosophical and Scientific Counterpoints
31:37 Historical Reliability of the Gospels
43:24 Exploring Historical Claims and Mystical Accounts
44:27 Miracle Claims Across Religions
45:31 Historical Evidence for Jesus
49:13 Manuscript Evidence and Reliability
51:41 Debating the Historical Accuracy of the Gospels
01:01:04 The Role of Apologetics in Reinforcing Belief
01:06:52 Introduction to Part Two: Converting Greg
01:09:04 Did Jesus Claim to Be God?
01:25:38 Introduction to the Debate
01:26:05 The Concept of the Trinity
01:26:39 Jesus' Divinity and Historical Context
01:29:01 The 'I Am' Argument
01:34:29 Miracles and Prophecies
01:39:15 The Trilemma Argument
01:44:02 Establishing the Church
02:04:56 Questioning the Trinity and Monotheism
02:05:14 Santa Claus and Apologetics
02:06:43 Jesus Establishes the Church
02:11:45 The Church's Succession and Authority
02:15:54 Faith and the Catholic Church
02:29:57 Natural vs. Supernatural Faith
02:42:11 Critique of Catholic Charity and Unity
02:43:39 Questioning the Infallibility of the Church
02:46:25 Debating the Authority of the Church
02:49:27 Concluding Thoughts on Faith and Apologetics
02:53:39 Final Reflections and Advice

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this critical follow-up to our earlier reflections on Pope Francis’s passing, three gay ex-Catholics break down the truth behind the progressive myth. While headlines hail him as a revolutionary, we ask: did anything actually change for queer Catholics? From catechism clauses to conversion therapy, brunch with trans folks to doctrinal silence—this episode confronts the carefully curated optics of compassion.

We’re not here to hate—just to tell the truth. What could have changed? What stayed the same? What harm still hides behind a smile? Tune in to hear three ex-believers decode the Vatican’s most PR-friendly pope.

00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic
01:00 Initial Reactions to Pope Francis
03:01 Personal Journeys and Opinions
06:09 Pope Francis' Actions and Inactions
10:04 The Church's Stance on LGBT Issues
17:13 Comparing Traditional and Progressive Catholics
22:43 Pope Francis' Legacy and Future Implications
26:44 Cultural Significance of the Latin Mass
28:18 Pope Francis' Stance on Homosexuality
29:16 The Future of Pope Francis' Legacy
31:13 The Church's Harmful Teachings on LGBTQ+ Issues
32:30 Pope Francis' Missed Opportunities for Change
37:49 The Catholic Church's Influence and Power
39:42 Pope Francis' Actions and Inactions
46:22 Concluding Thoughts on Pope Francis
50:46 Final Remarks and Farewell

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.