Intrinsically Ordered

Today on the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, Colin returns for the first episode of our new reaction series: The Apostates' Imprimatur. We react to a video from  ⁨@BrianHoldsworth⁩ titled “I’m Not Smart Enough to Be Protestant” and unpack some of the biggest questions surrounding Catholicism, Protestantism, authority, heresy, and the chaos of early Christianity.

As two former traditional Catholics with years inside the Latin Mass world, we break down whether Christianity actually provides a reliable path to “truth,” whether Catholic authority solves the problems it claims to solve, and why debates about doctrine have existed since the earliest days of the church. We also dive into Protestantism, Catholic converts, church history, heresy, the Trinity, the Bible, and the strange world of online Catholic apologetics.

00:00 Podcast Return and Format
01:11 Colin’s Trad Catholic Background
09:33 Reacting to Protestant Confusion
35:17 Early Christianity Chaos
36:43 Paul and Church Authority
42:05 Gospel for the Poor
56:51 Unity as Proof
01:19:04 Trad Caths vs Authority
01:20:41 Interpretation Problem Returns
01:27:42 Canon History and Church Fathers
01:53:34 Hell Threat and Harm

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I spent a week researching one of the internet’s most viral and controversial gender stories - someone who detransitioned, became a Christian influencer, and then ultimately transitioned again. In this video, I break down the full timeline, the psychology behind what happened, and how online religious communities, algorithms, and high-control dynamics may have shaped this journey in ways most people are completely missing.

0:00 - Conservative Meltdown
2:23 - Neeza's First Posts
11:15 - Her First Time at Church
18:10 - Christian Hate and Gender Dysphoria
30:31 - Becoming Catholic
49:55 - "Failing" Jesus
59:19 - Toxic Christian Responses
1:12:54 - Better Christian Responses
1:18:24 - Neeza's Thoughts

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Former youth minister (and current Catholic) Ashley Kiefer joins me to talk about the messy overlap of faith, OCD, and scrupulosity. We trace her journey from professional Catholic youth worker to licensed therapist, why quoting the catechism at every problem stopped working, and how therapy forced her to learn actual listening instead of spiritual “fixing.”

We dig into what scrupulosity really is, how it shows up as a subtype of OCD, why sermons that end with “just trust God more” don’t work, and how online Catholic culture and “rad trad” spaces can quietly supercharge religious anxiety. Ashley shares practical steps for discerning when it’s time to see a therapist, how to find scrupulosity-literate help, and why dealing with OCD is not a betrayal of your faith.

00:00 Ashley’s Journey from Youth Ministry to Therapy
04:21 Discussing Mental Health in Youth Ministry
07:34 Transitioning to a Career in Therapy
10:40 The Role of Faith in Therapy
25:59 Scrupulosity and OCD
29:52 Addressing Misconceptions and Scrupulosity
35:45 Understanding Intrusive Thoughts
39:24 Scrupulosity in Catholicism
56:15 Seeking Help and Resources

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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I got invited by  @HeliocentricOfficial to one of the biggest evangelical Christian YouTuber conferences in the country… as a gay atheist. Surrounded by Christian apologists, pastors, influencers, Mormons, Catholics, and some of the biggest names in Christian internet culture, I spent three days asking a
simple question: why am I still an atheist after all of this?

From debates on the Trinity to conversations about homosexuality, conversion therapy, suffering, and the strange beauty of religion itself, this was one of the most fascinating weekends I’ve had in a long time.

0:00 - Influencers^3
01:22 -  @Heliocentric 's invitation
03:26 - Day 1
04:06 - Lesson 1
08:05 - Day 1 Continues
09:44 - Lesson 2
17:26 - The Debate
18:37 - Lesson 3
23:54 - Post Debate
24:45 - Lesson 4
28:54 - Day 2's Craziness
31:02 - Lesson 5
34:17 - Bringing My Boyfriend

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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What if the Latin Mass isn’t the magic solution everyone online says it is?

In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Kevin Non-Trad, who was literally born into an FSSP Latin Mass community, went to the parish school in the church basement, prayed the rosary in Latin, and watched his childhood classmates quietly drift away from the faith. I come from the opposite direction: a suburban Novus Ordo kid who dove head-first into trad YouTube, daily rosaries, and Latin Mass as the supposed answer to the Church’s crisis—only to leave Catholicism anyway.

00:00 Kevin's Background in the Latin Mass
05:15 Retention Rates and Realities
07:05 Challenges and Critiques of the Traditionalist Movement
18:31 Liturgical Anecdotes
18:58 Why People Convert
21:46 Challenges and Criticisms of Latin Mass
25:06 The Human Connection to Rituals and Music
26:32 The Complexity of Faith and Personal Beliefs

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

I've been working on this case for almost a year now - and I figured I'd give you the ultimate guide to understanding what is evening happening with conversion therapy and the Supreme Court. In this video, I break down the law, the arguments, and what the majority, concurrence, and dissent actually say. More importantly, I explain what the case is really about—because the framing of the question changes everything.

0:00 Background: Framing the Case

6:54 Background: What Colorado Law Says

12:07 Background: Defining Conversion Therapy

20:04 Background: How the Case Got Here

26:37 Background: First Amendment Basics

32:33 Background: How SCOTUS Decisions Work

43:29 Majority: Strict Scrutiny Explained

47:27 Majority: What Therapy Really Is

51:06 Majority: Parsing Colorado Law

54:39 Majority: Speech Versus Conduct

55:17 Majority: Facial V As Applied Challenge

58:34 Majority: Black Swan Analogy

1:02:11 Majority: No Perfect Precedent Fits

1:10:48 Majority: Bad Citations And Categories

1:14:01 Majority: Lawyers Cases Aren't Therapy

1:16:41 Majority: NIFLA Case Breakdown

1:20:24 Majority: Viewpoint Discrimination Claim

1:21:38 Majority: Orientation Versus Behavior

1:24:09 Majority: Religion Not The Issue

1:25:06 Majority: NIFLA

1:28:30 Majority: Professional Speech Limits

1:29:39 Majority: Viewpoint Discrimination Claim

1:36:28 Majority: Speech Versus Conduct

1:38:54 Majority: Informed Consent Analogy

1:45:59 Majority: Licensing Tradition Debate

1:56:51 Majority: Therapy Is Medical Treatment

2:05:16 Majority: Licensing And What’s Still Allowed

2:08:38 Majority: Consent Power Dynamics

2:10:28 Majority: When Actions Are Speech

2:13:57 Majority: Majority Logic Breakdown

2:19:23 Majority: Medical Consensus Hypothetical

2:23:51 Colorado Strategy Failures

2:32:28 Concurrence: Viewpoint Claim

2:36:46 Concurrence: Not A Mirror Image

2:40:54 Dissent: Jackson’s Framework

2:48:19 Dissent: Harms Of Conversion Therapy

2:52:42 Dissent: Why Minors Need Protection

2:52:56 Dissent: Fraud Not Free Speech

2:53:27 Dissent: What The Law Actually Bans

2:54:37 Dissent: Allowed Goals And Counseling

2:55:15 Dissent: Transition And Detransition Clarified

2:56:49 Dissent: Speech Versus Treatment Conduct

2:59:00 Dissent: Case Law And Student Speech

3:02:30 Dissent: NLA Versus Casey Breakdown

3:07:18 Dissent: Words As Medical Treatment

3:11:32 Dissent: Defining Professional Medical Speech

3:15:22 Dissent: Standards Of Care And Viewpoints

3:23:38 Dissent: History Of Licensing And Malpractice

3:32:37 Dissent: Majority Plays With Fire

3:39:04 Dedication And Final Thoughts

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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In this episode of the Intrinsically Ordered Podcast, I sit down with Griffin to hear one of the most intense and personal stories I’ve encountered about growing up gay in a Christian environment. We talk about what it’s like to be taught that your identity is sinful, the psychological toll of trying to “pray the gay away,” and how systems of shame, guilt, and fear can shape the way you see yourself.

Griffin shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, including manipulation tactics, missionary school, and even being pressured into shock therapy. We also explore what it looks like to break free from that world, rebuild your identity, and navigate the tension between faith and sexuality—along with how these stories are still impacting people today.

00:00 Strict Megachurch Upbringing
04:01 Realizing He Was Gay
21:46 Hawaii Mission School Brainwashing
28:38 Fear Tactics and Shame
32:05 Ex-Gay TikTok Era
34:36 Coerced Shock Therapy
40:37 Healing and Hope Ahead

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

*Skip to 01:23:00 - if you just want to see the slavery bit*

After a few months off podcasting, I came back with one of the wildest conversations I’ve had with a Catholic apologist. This is my third debate with Noah from  ⁨@Jesus.andwhatnot⁩   and we start in a pretty normal place: the historicity of Jesus, what (if anything) we can know from the sources, how reliable the Gospels are, and whether claims like crucifixion and resurrection can be treated like other ancient historical questions.

Then the conversation takes a sharp turn into epistemology—faith vs. history, “first principles,” and whether the Catholic Church can be treated as an infallible authority. And yes: there’s a moment where he starts defending slavery, which honestly caught me off guard in real time.

If you want the calm historical discussion, it’s here. If you want the “what did I just hear” moment, you’ll definitely find it. Either way, I hope this helps you think more clearly about what counts as evidence, what counts as faith, and how people build worldviews.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Return
02:43 Debate Setup: Historicity of Jesus
06:04 Exploring the Historical Jesus
18:34 Crucifixion and Resurrection Debate
32:03 Skepticism and Historical Evidence
47:51 The Presupposition of Jesus as God
48:25 Mary's Perpetual Virginity: Historical or Faith Claim?
49:28 Catholicism and Historical Claims
53:43 Epistemology and Circular Reasoning
55:45 First Principles and Trust in the Catholic Church
59:08 Faith vs. Historical Evidence
01:02:46 The Role of the Catholic Church in Morality
01:06:07 Debating the Stability of Worldviews
01:09:31 The Evolution of Catholic Doctrine
01:23:00 - DEFENDING SLAVERY
01:27:11 Closing Statements and Reflections

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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I got to sit down in person with fellow ex-Catholic creator  ⁨@Nontradicath⁩   for a long-awaited crossover: why we’re not Catholic anymore.

Kevin shares his journey from being “born into” the traditionalist FSSP world—daily Latin Mass, grace-maxing, Marian devotions—to slowly realizing that so much of what he’d been taught as “history” looks a lot more like legend. 
We talk Old Testament authorship, Adam and Eve, gospel reliability, Marian apparitions like Fatima and Guadalupe, and the uncomfortable gap between what Catholic scholars actually say in academic work and what popular apologists tell the pews and YouTube.

00:00 Kevin's Background and Catholic Answers
04:00 Why We're Not Catholic Anymore
07:19 Historical and Biblical Skepticism
09:49 Marian Apparitions and Church History
11:46 Catholic Apologetics
20:10 Community and Catholicism
23:55 Catholic Scholars vs. Apologists
25:42 Frustrations with Apologetics
29:08 Deconstructing Catholic Beliefs
41:36 The Role of Fiction and Stories

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

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In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, Cade sits down with gay Catholic writer and lawyer Chris Damian to unpack one of the most abused buzzwords in Catholic debates: natural law.

They trace how Aristotle, Aquinas, and virtue ethics get flattened into YouTube talking points, why “sex is for babies and bonding” doesn’t actually settle anything, and how natural law gets weaponized against LGBT people, contraception, and queer families while mysteriously ignoring things like smoking and worker exploitation.

From Latin Mass culture and “Catholic Inc.” to chastity, conversion therapy, and bad analogies about chairs, cups, and diet soda, Cade and Chris ask: What would natural law look like if we actually cared about human flourishing—especially for queer people—instead of just defending a pre-decided rulebook?

00:00 Natural Law in Catholicism
01:35 Catholic Inc. and Rad Trad Explained
03:31 Natural Law and Sexual Ethics
09:39 Critiques and Complexities of Natural Law
14:17 Marriage and Natural Law
20:25 Natural Law in Practice and Popular Misconceptions
37:58 Christian Natural Law and Intuitive Goods
46:30 The Anorexia Argument and Natural Law
50:56 The Flaws in Catholic Natural Law Arguments
56:14 The One-Way Valve of Catholic Studies
58:10 Adoption and Same-Sex Couples
59:52 The Complexity of Human Flourishing
01:04:06 The Inconsistencies in Catholic Sexual Ethics
01:06:57 The Broader Implications of Natural Law

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.