hi lovely i was trying to write something on your survey, but I couldn't write to you like that as it doesn't feel right Clare i have to write directly to you and then it flows well Clare that afternoon as i was sitting there somehow i ended sitting where everybody was looking because you both was alongside of me, and I could feel that i was ticking my shoulders were going my eyes were going and my hands couldn't stop moving as I was sitting there I felt everyone was looking my way and they could see me so I held onto my jeans with all my heart, because it was breaking open every single shame and fear was in that room that day for me and I had nowhere to hide I felt my body running as it was staying still I could see the your latch on the door in front of me, i even 

Felt my thumb opening it and running but somehow, I stayed and in my staying i felt tears in my eyes that I held back because i didn't want everyone to see me like that i was in

a room with every relationship I ever had and i sat there for hours like that into there was no one sitting there so yer what was a course on relationships in the end there was no relationships love you