I'm Grand Mam

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It’s the last week of the Irish tour and Kevin’s preparing to head back to London and says he’ll miss Ireland’s sandwich culture the most. The boys also express their appreciation for an artist who is essentially Cork’s answer to Banksy, who’s been going around adding googley eyes to all the campaign posters for the local and European elections. As Father’s Day approaches the lads decide to celebrate the dads who are doing the work by reading out stories of dads being allies for the LGBTQ+ community and some of the submissions have Kevin and PJ up in a heap with how cute some they are and they are still screaming at the dad who says ‘hunty’.

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The lads have just done their opening night of their tour and they're dying to catch the girlies up on how it went. The theme for the week is cults and the lads do a deep dive into what it takes for something to be a cult and the type of person likely to get indoctrinated into one. They then question whether I'm Grand Mam is a cult and decide whether they'd be cut out for the sacrificial elements of cults.

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In this episode the lads talk about their constant search for validation (even if it's in the form of a wolf whistle from a gay builder) and discuss Kevin's stint as a body double for Lewis Hamilton. They then read out some 6th year holiday horror story submissions and they want this episode to be a cautionary tale for Irish gays and girlies getting with Brits abroad; the GCSEs is the equivalent to the Junior Cert so don't be mauling young fellas.

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Listen to the songs from the Bureau de Change Song Contest: https://bureaudechangesongcontest.bandcamp.com/album/the-bureau-de-change-song-contest-volume-3 💫

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It's communion season girlies and it's all excitement in the Kirby household as Tess has finally said yes to the dress and she's gearing herself up to walk into the church purse first to slay the house of God down boots on her big day. The lads talk about their longing to have had their ears pierced for their communions like the girlies and talk about how much money they made and what they spent it on. Rumour has it Kevin still has his communion money in his post office account. They then talk about divorce, how close the results were in the divorce referendum in 1996 and how much of an eejit Just*n Barr*tt is for campaigning against it only to get divorced himself in 2017.

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Kevin starts the episode off by sharing his ordeal of dropping his phone down the back of the radiator during the week and trying to get it out for 4 hours and then PJ gets one up on him by talking about his ordeal of dropping his camera and breaking his lens which was an awful lot of money. For the theme they talk about frontal lobe development and Saturn’s Return and Kevin question’s whether his frontal lobe was already fully formed as a child because he never used to take risks and avoided bouncy castles at all costs. 

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Kevin chose violence by deciding to start his week off by watching clips on YouTube from the latest instalment of Britain’s Got Talent and of course he sobbed but he also can’t cope with the fact that a song from The Greatest Showman features every 4 minutes. And of course BGT can’t be discussed without mentioning PJ’s brief stint on the show as a dancing cat. Then prompted by the show Baby reindeer the lads discuss stalking; from their own innocent obsessions with the likes of Maxxie from Skins and professional dancer Anthony Kaye to crazy barbz who have started doxing anyone who comes for Nicki.

The Sexual Violence Centre Cork are currently offering their services to victims of stalking in Ireland: visit sexualviolence.ie.

Freephone: 1800 496 496 

Text/Whatsapp: 087 1533 393

Email: [email protected]

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Kevin just got back from Paris and he was disappointed by the lack of berets but completely overwhelmed by the number of baguettes. Then prompted by PJ’s recent marathon run the lads discuss having a third life crisis and the chaotic antics we get up to in our thirties. Remember girlies, there’s no rush so take it easy; Samuel L Jackson didn’t get his first major movie role until the age of 46 and Oprah didn’t run a marathon until the age of 40 and she ran it faster than PJ.

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In this episode the lads speak about their shared hatred of fedoras and conclude that Britney is the only person on the planet who can pull them off. They talk about JLo being Jelulu and then read out embarrassing story submissions and they do not disappoint. From people pissing themselves behind the pulpit at mass to condom conundrums, the listeners' tales have the boys cringing and howling in equal measure.

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As the video of Kevin injuring himself made it into his March dump he decides to speak his truth and talk about his ordeal on the cursed mode of transport that is the Lime bike. He also reveals that when faced with his bike being stolen, instead of going into fight or flight his adrenal glands opted for freeze. The theme for the week is work/life balance and the boys discuss the ways in which attitudes are changing to employment and how in the words of Kim K, it seems like ‘nobody wants to work these days’. PJ then puts forward a very compelling argument for a communist state with the promise of organic veg for everyone but Kevin suggests he gives Animal Farm a read first.

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PJ has a bone to pick with Kevin and it's regarding a comment he made nearly two years ago in Edinburgh after a call with a production company. Sensing fear in PJ's eyes about having to act, a skill which Kevin already had in wheelhouse from his time on the platoon in Les Mis, Kevin tried to reassure his friend by saying he could get acting lessons which sent PJ into a spiral. TV production companies if you're listening to this episode PJ has been working on his accents and can do a fab French one. The theme is good deeds and the lads talk about acts of kindness not counting because people are filming it for social media, virtue signalling and their favourite celebrity ever George Michael.

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