One of my biggest stepparenting frustrations was feeling blocked in my ability to make changes for the better in the life of my stepkid. Yet — trying to parent my stepkid ended up causing stress and friction between me and my stepkid AND between me and my partner. And when that happens, it’s probably time to disengage.

It’s not that you shouldn’t care how your stepkids are raised — obviously you care, otherwise you wouldn't be out here listening to a stepparenting podcast. But no matter how much you care about your stepkids, your power to enact any real change in their lives is going to be largely determined by how much your partner supports you in the stepparenting role... or how much they don't.

If you’d love for your partner to support you but they’re unaware you need that from them, go check out the guide that Dan & I put together: ➡️ HOW TO ACTUALLY BLEND: THE MISSING INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR STEPCOUPLES 👀 It’s for both of you to go through together to hopefully get on the same page. But if you’re already feeling really frustrated or resentful about your stepparenting efforts going unrecognized, I also recommend reading the Disengaging Essay. Because you need your partner’s support for sure, but you probably also need to redefine your role a little to figure out what’s working and what’s not working. xo

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