Infertile AF: Infertility and Modern Family Building through ART

Ali’s guest today is Dr. Mark Trolice, an OB/GYN and reproductive endocrinologist who runs Fertility CARE in Winter Park, Florida. Marks gets real about the 10 years of infertility he and his wife experienced before adopting their five children. He calls infertility "a life crisis" and how not being able to help his wife caused him to "spiral down into an abyss of despair." Mark's book, "The Fertility Doctor's Guide to Overcoming Infertility," comes out this October.

On today's episode, Ali talks to Elli, an American living in Paris, about how different infertility is in France versus the U.S. Case in point: The health care system in France covers fertility treatments (for free!) up to a woman's 43rd birthday. Elli talks about being on the Pill for 20 years, going down an internet rabbit hole, one very insensitive doctor she came across, being in a "really negative place," and finally, after years of trying, how she and her husband finally had a healthy baby boy.

Today, Ali checks in with Stacy, her first recurring guest, as she goes through her secondary infertility journey. When we left off, Stacy had suffered three miscarriages and was about to start her very first IVF cycle. Now, she's 9 days into it, and she's sharing all the details, from waking up at 5:30am to do her injections to what happened when the hormonal and emotional side of everything kicked in, taking her by surprise. "I just have to be hopeful," she says. "That's the only way I can get through it."

On today’s episode, Ali talks to Melissa, a friend from high school who reached out in the hopes that her complicated infertility story would help other people. In addition to severe endometriosis and other health issues that left her in and out of the hospital for years, Melissa gets candid about her seven cycles of IVF, the devastating double miscarriage she says "should be on an episode of Grey's Anatomy" and the decision she and her husband, Matt, made about using donor eggs to finally have their healthy, beautiful daughter.

Continuing our celebration of Pride Month, this week's guest is Kristi, who had two children of her own before becoming a surrogate for a same-sex couple living in Israel. Kristi shares the intimate details of her surrogacy experience--before revealing that now, years later—and after undergoing a hysterectomy—she and her husband are using a surrogate of their own to try and have a third baby. 

Ali's guest today is Elshane, a fashion stylist by day, blogger by night and mama 24/7. Self-described as "If Carrie Bradshaw were a mom," Elshane, who has nearly 100,000 followers on her highly entertaining, extremely chic Elshane's World Instagram account, tells Ali all about her journey with secondary infertility. Included: Six unsuccessful IUIs, how she and her husband managed to laugh hysterically while doing her shots, and why she's proud to be a member of the IVF community.

Happy Pride Month! Ali's guest today is Michael, one of the dads behind Two Dads U.K., whose mission is to raise awareness of same-sex parenting and help other same-sex couples and other single gay people realize that becoming a parent shouldn't just be a dream. Michael talks about coming out; building a family with his husband, Wes; the 3-4 years they researched surrogacy; the birth of their daughter, Talulah; and how they’re working hard to make LGBTQ parenting better, safer and more equal.

Today, Ali talks to Stacy, who's in the midst of her infertility story—and who's agreed to be Ali’s first recurring guest, so that everyone can listen along as she goes through it in real time. On this first check-in with Stacy, we find out what’s happened so far, including the birth of her healthy daughter Noa, now 3; the three subsequent miscarriages that rocked her world; secondary infertility “guilt;” and what Stacy and her husband, Ari, have chosen to do next. 

It’s Ali's first guy on the pod: Today, she talks to Danny, a friend from high school, about the heartbreak he and his wife, Stacy, endured while trying to become parents. Danny tells the unfathomably tragic story of losing their newborn daughter when she was just one hour old, how it strengthened them as a couple, how it felt to finally get pregnant again, and how Stacy's diagnosis of cervical cancer was another unexpected blow. "Stacy is tough as nails," he says. "I admire her to no end."

Today, Ali talks to Halina about her long journey to become a mom—including how some major life events shaped her world views. Halina opens up about how being an eyewitness on 9/11 traumatized her, life with PCOS, and years of battling an eating disorder. She describes the pain of losing one twin in utero, as well as a miscarriage that required blood transfusions. Today, the mom-of-two says, “It’s not that the pain goes away. The pain just gets easier to live with over time.”