You must know what’s OK and what’s NOT OK in the relationships you have to OTHERS.
- shame or guilt another person
blame them for your feelingslash out at others when you’re angry or triggeredexpect another person to be 100% compatible with youexpect others to anticipate or assume what you needself-sacrifice to meet the needs of otherspush yourself past your capacity act like a “Debbie Downer” and complain all the timeact like an “Energy Vampire” and suck the energy from others- feel guilty when, according only to you, you’ve behaved in a manner you’re not proud of
share what you’ve felt AFTER you feel it and learn from itbuy yourself the time to take care of your body when triggered:- “I’m a little off right and I need to process this. I’ll circle back and let you know when I’m ready to talk about it.”
not feel like you have to love or do what the other person loves or doescommunicate your needs or wants to otherssay NO when you aren’t willing or able to meet the expectations of othersshare your feelings and experiences vulnerably with othersintentionally decide not to spend time with “Debbie Downers” or “Energy Vampires”- feeling ashamed or guilty for the emotions of others?
using the phrase: “You made me feel… “?your body going into A.L.A.R.M.? L = lossA = abandonmentR = rejectionM = forced maturitycriticizing others when they’re incompatible with you?reacting to anger and lashing out?expecting others to be just like you?expecting others to anticipate your needs and wants?sacrificing your health and well-being to meet the needs of others?pushing yourself past your capacity?being the “audience” for a complainer?complaining for attention?allowing someone to “drain” your energy?depending on others to be your joy?When do you notice being willing to:
- allow others to take responsibility for the part they played?
decide, according only to your own values, when you are willing to learn from guilt?feel discomfort when someone is hurt or disappointed with you?meet your own compatibility wants and needs?prioritize taking care of yourself?create your own joy?commit to solving your problems - not advertising them?create your own happiness and joy?Anxiety Rx by Russell Kennedy, MD
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