inTune Pathways: The Podcast

In this powerful and deeply personal episode (is there another way?!), Kristy shares her journey of navigating life with a PDA autistic profile and the profound impact of trauma and shame on her parenting.

We delve into the struggles of growing up without safety, the intergenerational trauma that shapes our lives, and the intense pressure of societal expectations. Through candid storytelling, Kristy reveals how she projected her unresolved trauma onto her children, perpetuating a cycle of shame and self-loathing. She discusses the transformative moment in her intensive therapy program for treatment-resistant PTSD, where she learned the crucial distinction between guilt and shame.

Join Kristy as she explores the path to liberation, self-acceptance, and the importance of modeling self-love and respect to our children. This episode is a testament to the resilience of the PDA spirit, though we are often told we are not resilient enough.. and the power of breaking free from the violent bricks of shame to become who we were always meant to be.

Key Topics:

- Living with a PDA autistic profile

- The impact of trauma and lack of safety in childhood

- Intergenerational trauma and its effects on parenting

- The difference between guilt and shame

- The journey to self-liberation and acceptance

- The importance of modeling self-love and respect to children

Resources Mentioned:

inTune Access Support: Family Collective http://www.kristyforbes.com.au/itas

Connect with Kristy:

Website: www.kristyforbes.com.au

Facebook: facebook.com/intunepathways

Instagram: instagram.com/_kristyforbes

In this episode, we explore the question posed by a popular Canadian physician: "Not why the addiction, but why the pain?" We'll unravel binary perspectives of behaviour and relationships with food, drugs, and interpersonal connections. Kristy shares personal insights on how neurodivergent individuals use various resources—both internally and externally—to navigate a world that isn't always accommodating. This episode challenges conventional views on addiction, trauma, and societal expectations, advocating for a more compassionate understanding of neurodivergent experiences.

Join us as we journey through the themes of radical acceptance, self-discovery, and the pursuit of being enough just as we are.

In this insightful episode, Kristy explores the complex interactions between declarative language and the nervous system in individuals with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance). She delves into the often misunderstood dynamics of communication strategies and their unintended impacts on anxiety and trust.

The discussion begins by addressing the intuitive intelligence of children with PDA, who may perceive declarative language as a mere strategy, thus heightening their anxiety and resistance. Kristy emphasizes the importance of building trust and genuine connections rather than relying on direct or scripted communication, which can come across as inauthentic and exacerbate hypervigilance.

A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the real-life implications of using declarative language, such as managing daily routines like nasal spray usage for hay fever. Kristy highlights how even well-intentioned suggestions can trigger defensive reactions, underscoring the need for transparency and honesty in interactions.

Moreover, Kristy thoughtfully examines the broader societal pressures that influence parental behaviour and the pursuit of "correct" methods. She encourages a shift towards more authentic, relationship-focused approaches that prioritize long-term trust over immediate compliance.

Listeners are left with a powerful message about the value of acknowledging efforts, both of themselves and their children, in navigating the delicate balance of support and independence. This episode not only provides practical advice but also offers a deep understanding of the emotional landscape of families dealing with PDA, promoting a compassionate and informed approach to parenting and interpersonal relationships.

In this episode of inTune Pathways - The Podcast, host Kristy Forbes delves into the challenging decisions parents face when choosing educational paths for their autistic children, particularly when the children's wishes clash with parental concerns. Kristy, a late-identified PDA autistic with ADHD, and educator with a focus on the social model of disability, explores the implications of mainstream schooling versus alternative education for teens experiencing burnout and anxiety. She discusses the concept of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), its impact on autistic individuals, and the deep internal conflicts they face, such as the desire to fit in with peers against the reality of their needs.

In This Thought-Provoking Episode:

We tackle a question many families face: Is our approach to supporting our PDA autistic children actually counterproductive? We navigate the fine line between respecting our children's autonomy and our natural parental instincts to guide and support them, particularly when they show reluctance to engage with the world outside their comfort zones. But is this what it truly is? A simple reluctance to leave one's comfort zones?

Key Highlights:

Delve into the delicate balance of respecting our children's choices while grappling with parental concerns about engagement and isolation. Explore the nuanced dynamics of autonomy and support in the context of PDA and autism.

Join Kristy as she shares her personal and professional insights on PDA, differentiating it from other forms of demand avoidance and discussing its profound impact on children's willingness to engage. Gain a deeper understanding of PDA and its implications for family life.

Take a look at the individualised nature of recovery and adaptation, acknowledging the uniqueness of each child's path to re-engagement. Learn about the stages of recovery and how to support your child through this transformative journey.

Emphasise the importance of community support and the pitfalls of comparing our journeys to those of others. Discover the value of a supportive community and learn how to navigate the challenges of comparison in the context of parenting and PDA.

Highlight the trial and error process in discovering effective supports and tools, learning more about our children's needs, and adapting our approaches accordingly. Understand the importance of flexibility and adaptability in finding what works best for your child.

Reflect on our fears and hopes for our children's futures, stressing the importance of staying present and responsive to their current needs. Explore the future implications of our parenting approaches and how we can best support our children in the long term.

In this profound podcast episode, Kristy unpacks the challenges faced by families raising and/or being Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) individuals, emphasizing the unique and complex nature of PDA and the necessity for understanding and tailored support.

Through a compelling analogy of a child struggling to swim, she highlights the often misunderstood and misjudged experiences of PDA individuals, stressing the importance of recognizing their inherent neurobiological responses and advocating for patience, acceptance, and out-of-the-box thinking in providing support.

This episode is a heartfelt call to action for empathy, understanding, and community solidarity in navigating the intricacies of PDA.

You can learn more about our Core Programs Here:

inTune Pathways Core Programs

To learn more about Kristy and her work:

Kristy Forbes, inTune Pathways

In this episode, Kristy shares her responses to questions put to her by participants of our Core Programs, inTune with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and Critical Care & Recovery for anxious, demand avoidant children.

You can learn more about our Core Programs Here:

inTune Pathways Core Programs

To learn more about Kristy and her work:

Kristy Forbes, inTune Pathways

Join Kristy Forbes and Kieran Rose again as they discuss misconceptions about autistic communication;  that while it differs from neuronormative communication, that doesn't mean it's any less valid or effective. They touch on hyperlexia, synaesthesia, difficulties around social situations and how the autistic radar is alive and kicking.

You can find Kieran Rose and learn more about his work at the links below: 

The Autistic Advocate Website

Kieran on Twitter

Kieran on YouTube

Kieran on Facebook

Check out inTune Pathways at:

inTune Pathways Website

inTune Pathways Facebook

inTune Pathways YouTube

inTune Pathways Instagram

inTune Pathways Tiktok

Join Kristy Forbes and Kieran Rose as they discuss behaviours often assumed to be associated with being autistic: where they come from, how they’re understood or misunderstood and how we can better accommodate and understand behaviour as an externalised expression of an internalised experience, and not dysfunctional or non functional neuronormative behaviour.

You can find Kieran Rose and learn more about his work at the links below:

The Autistic Advocate Website

Kieran on Twitter

Kieran on YouTube

Kieran on Facebook

Looking to learn more about autistic behaviour? You can check out the inTune Pathways resources here, join the waitlist for our 12 week program for families raising autistic children here, or access our blog or YouTube Channel.