The Unspeakeasy With Meghan Daum

Is Dating A Lost Cause? Lori Gottlieb On How to Find Love In The Age of Apps, Ghosting, and Too Much Choice


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Psychotherapist and writer Lori Gottlieb visited The Unspeakable in 2021 to talk about her bestselling book Maybe You Should Talk To Someone. She returns for a Valentine's Day episode about finding love, staying in love, and what to make of all the social scientists constantly going on about how marriage and family are essential for mental, physical and even economic well-being. To that, Lori says, "well, obviously!" But she also asks "how are you supposed to find someone when our social systems are so dysfunctional?"

Her own story involves becoming a mother on her own in her 30s (her son Zach is a budding Gen Z thought leader in his own right) and trying to balance her own dating life with childrearing and a busy career. In this conversation, she talks about how she tries to help clients who are struggling to find love, how honest talk about female fertility became taboo sometime in the 2000s, why dating apps are making things so much worse, and why age gaps in romantic relationships seem more prevalent than ever. She also explains why, for older daters, widowed people can make the best partners and, finally, why more singles should seriously consider hiring a matchmaker.

GUEST BIO

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and the New York Times best-selling author of "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone" and "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough." She is also a TED Speaker, the co-host of the popular "Dear Therapists" podcast, and the "Dear Therapist" columnist for The Atlantic.

Listen to the last time she was on the podcast.

Check out her website.

Follow her on Twitter here.

Want to hear the whole conversation? Upgrade your subscription here.

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