it's cool, us too

By Meag and ColeSociety & Culture

it's cool, us too episodes

October 30, 2024episode 85 - following your intuition in your 30s
In this week's episode, Diane shares her transformative journey through various cities, including her experiences living in London, New York, and Mexico City. The discussion delves into cultural differences, personal growth, and that hit of energy we get from new beginnings. Diane reflects on her dating experiences, the challenges of being single, and the importance of maintaining a positive mindset in relationships. The conversation highlights the balance between masculine and feminine energies in dating and personal interactions, offering insights into navigating the complexities of modern relationships. In this engaging conversation, the speakers explore the complexities of modern dating, the influence of media on relationship expectations, and the importance of community and connection. They discuss the challenges of navigating dating apps, the significance of in-person interactions, and the impact of moving to new places on friendships. The conversation culminates in reflections on what it means to live well in your 30s, emphasizing self-discovery and following one's curiosity.
Takeaways
Diane's journey through different cities has shaped her perspective on life.

Cultural differences between London, New York, and Mexico City influence social interactions.

Embracing new experiences can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

The energy you bring to a new place can significantly impact your experiences.

Dating in New York was a positive experience for Diane compared to London.

Being happily single can be a rewarding phase of life.

It's important to enjoy the dating process rather than dread it.

Finding emotional connections is key to meaningful relationships.

Balancing masculine and feminine energies can enhance dating experiences.

Maintaining a positive mindset is crucial in navigating relationships. The media shapes our perceptions of relationships and soulmates.

Women often analyze relationships more deeply than men.

Lowering standards on dating apps can open up new possibilities.

Finding humor in bad dates can shift your dating energy.

Maintaining friendships across distances requires acceptance of change.

Creating community spaces for dating can enhance connections.

In-person interactions are crucial for genuine connections.

Living in a new country presents unique challenges and anxieties.

It's important to communicate differently with various friends.

Living well in your 30s means exploring who you are.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background
01:46 Journey Through Cities: From Scotland to Mexico City
04:38 Cultural Comparisons: London, New York, and Mexico City
09:58 The Energy of New Beginnings: Embracing New York
15:20 Dating Experiences: From London to New York
20:51 Finding Happiness in Being Single
25:29 Navigating the Dating Landscape
30:11 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
31:34 The Impact of Media on Relationships
35:51 Navigating Dating Apps and Lowering Standards
40:02 The Importance of In-Person Connections
46:00 Creating a Dating Community
50:00 Challenges of Moving and Maintaining Friendships
59:04 Living Well in Your 30s
1 hr 7 min
October 23, 2024episode 84 - the winter arc
In this episode, we celebrate the two-year anniversary of our podcast (!!!!), reflecting on our journey and the changes they've experienced. We discuss the concept of a 'Winter Arc,' emphasizing the importance of maintaining momentum towards personal goals as the year ends. The conversation also delves into core values and how we shape personal growth and relationships, encouraging listeners to prioritize their needs and aspirations.
In this conversation, Meagan and Nicole reflect on their personal growth over the past year, discussing the importance of identity work and setting goals for 2025. They emphasize a shift in focus from outcomes to the feelings and habits that contribute to their well-being. The discussion includes the significance of adventure, both in travel and local experiences, and the concept of micro adventures. They also explore the need for effective systems to manage procrastination and stress, particularly during the holiday season. The conversation concludes with strategies for testing and learning new habits to create a successful winter arc.
Takeaways
Celebrating two years of podcasting is a significant milestone.

The Winter Arc encourages maintaining personal goals through the end of the year.

It's important to prioritize self-care and personal needs.

Core values play a crucial role in guiding personal growth.

Relationships and connection are fundamental to happiness.

Planning for personal growth should start now, not next year.

Small actions can lead to significant changes over time.

Reflecting on past experiences can provide valuable insights.

Creating a supportive environment is essential for achieving goals. Identity work is crucial for personal growth.

Focusing on habits rather than outcomes can lead to better mental health.

It's important to identify how you want to feel in your daily life.

Adventure can be found in both travel and local experiences.

Micro adventures can bring joy and fulfillment.

Building systems can help manage procrastination and stress.

Finding balance is essential for overall well-being.

Mental resilience is key during challenging seasons.

Planning for seasonal affective challenges can improve mood.

Testing and learning new habits can lead to sustainable change.
Chapters
00:00 Celebrating Two Years of Podcasting
12:07 Understanding the Winter Arc
16:11 Core Values and Personal Growth
17:20 Reflecting on Personal Growth and Identity Work
18:00 Setting Goals for 2025: Focus on Habits Over Outcomes
19:49 The Importance of Feeling Good: A Shift in Perspective
20:51 Exploring Adventure: Travel Goals and Local Discoveries
22:14 Micro Adventures: Finding Joy in Small Experiences
23:46 Building Systems for Success: Managing Procrastination and Sleep
25:18 Finding Balance: The Need for Grace in Life's Journey
26:35 Mental Resilience: Preparing for the Holiday Season
28:53 Managing Seasonal Affective Challenges and Stress
31:34 Testing and Learning: Strategies for a Successful Winter Arc
38 min
October 16, 2024episode 83 - why situationships hurt
We're back baby! In this episode, we return from our hiatus to discuss personal updates, dating experiences, and the complexities of situationships. We explore the emotional impacts of dating in their 30s, the challenges of navigating friendships and romance, and the importance of authenticity in relationships. The conversation delves into the pain of unreciprocated feelings and the lessons learned from their dating experiences, emphasizing the significance of self-work and personal growth in the dating landscape.
Takeaways
What we define as a 'situationship', and how it might be different for you

Dating experiences can vary widely, with both highs and lows.

Situationships often lack clear definitions and can be emotionally complex.

Friendships can complicate romantic feelings and vice versa.

Understanding the emotional impact of situationships is crucial.

Authenticity is key in attracting the right partners.

Unreciprocated feelings can lead to significant emotional pain.

Self-work is essential for healthy relationships.

Navigating dating in your 30s requires self-awareness and honesty.

It's important to recognize when to let go of a situation that isn't serving you.
Chapters
00:00 Welcome Back and Personal Updates
03:03 Reflections on Dating Experiences
05:56 Navigating Situationships
12:02 The Complexity of Friendships and Romance
18:00 Understanding Situationships: Definitions and Dynamics
23:55 Emotional Impacts of Situationships
30:03 The Role of Authenticity in Relationships
36:07 The Pain of Unreciprocated Feelings
42:23 Lessons Learned from Dating Experiences
48:11 The Importance of Self-Work in Relationships
54:05 Final Thoughts on Dating and Self-Discovery
1 hr 5 min
August 02, 2024episode 82 - the *good* games women play in dating
In this episode, Meag and Nicole discuss their recent dating experiences and share the games they play with themselves to make dating more enjoyable and sustainable. They talk about the importance of maintaining momentum, being open to meeting new people, and not putting too much pressure on finding a future partner. They also discuss the mindset shift of treating dating apps as a way to go on first dates rather than finding a long-term partner. Other topics include the benefits of talking to multiple people at once, setting boundaries with texting, and viewing matches on dating apps as Tamagotchis. In this conversation, Meagan and Nicole discuss various strategies and techniques for navigating the early stages of dating, including when to save someone's name in your phone, using the archive feature in messaging apps, creating an 'ick list' to manage expectations, and practicing self-care before and after dates. They also emphasize the importance of listening to your intuition and setting boundaries. The conversation is filled with humor and relatable anecdotes, making it an enjoyable and informative listen.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Catching Up
03:02 Maintaining Momentum and Enjoying the Dating Process
08:26 Treating Dating Apps as a Tool for First Dates
14:26 Talking to Multiple People to Identify Preferences
18:08 Viewing Matches on Dating Apps as Tamagotchis
20:18 Navigating the Early Stages of Dating
22:20 The Power of the Archive Feature
24:31 Managing Expectations with the 'Ick List'
27:16 Pre-Date Self-Care Rituals
35:33 Listening to Your Intuition and Setting Boundaries

Takeaways
Maintaining momentum and being open to meeting new people can make dating more enjoyable and successful.

Treating dating apps as a way to go on first dates rather than finding a long-term partner can help alleviate pressure.

Talking to multiple people at once can provide a point of comparison and help identify personal preferences.

Setting boundaries with texting can help maintain sanity and prevent anxious attachment.

Viewing matches on dating apps as Tamagotchis can make the process more fun and gamified. Timing of saving someone's name in your phone can vary depending on the person and the connection

Using the archive feature in messaging apps can help manage expectations and reduce anxiety

Creating an 'ick list' can provide a reality check and help maintain perspective

Practicing self-care before and after dates can help boost confidence and manage nerves

Listening to your intuition and setting boundaries are key in dating
41 min
July 26, 2024episode 81 - lessons learned from Love Island USA
The main theme of Nicole and Meag's conversation is Love Island USA and what it teaches us about modern dating and relationships. They discuss the dynamics between men and women on the show, the impact of Casa Amor, and the behavior of the male contestants. Overall, they express their love for the show and the lessons it provides. The conversation explores the themes of loyalty, exploring multiple connections, embarrassment, self-discovery, attraction to odd or mysterious qualities, the relatability of contestants, the influence of group dynamics, and the role of producers in the show.
Takeaways
The concept of emotional edging, continuously bringing oneself to the edge of crying without allowing the release, can lead to a more cathartic experience (yes, this is weird, but we're coining the term ok?!)

Love Island USA provides insights into modern dating and relationships, highlighting the dynamics between men and women

Casa Amor on Love Island shows how easily men can be distracted by new and shiny objects

The behavior of male contestants on Love Island USA can be disheartening, as they often forget about their connections with the women in the villa Act loyal before commitment

Don't limit yourself to one connection

Women are often attracted to mysterious or odd qualities in men...how does this show up in Love Island?

Group think is real...group dynamics can influence behavior and decision-making

Producers should bring fresh ideas and better contestants for Casa Amor

Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Question about Men's Posed Instagram Photos
02:15 Discussion on Emotional Edging
05:00 Makeup Products and Updates
07:55 Love Island USA: Insights into Modern Dating and Relationships
11:13 Up and Down with Rob on Love Island USA
13:31 Emotional Edging: A New Term
15:46 Aaron's Love for Rob on Love Island USA
19:30 Men Easily Distracted by New and Shiny Objects on Love Island USA
22:16 Embarrassment and Self-Discovery
25:26 The Struggle with Hooking Up
31:15 The Relatability of Contestants
42:26 The Influence of Group Dynamics
45:44 The Role of Producers
47 min
July 19, 2024episode 80 - mindset shifts in your mid-30s
The main theme of this conversation is about Meag and Nicole's current mindset and the positive reframes they have made in their lives. In this conversation, Nicole and Meagan discuss their favorite characters from the reality dating show Love Island and share their thoughts on personal reframes for the year. They talk about the importance of not taking ghosting personally and reframing it as being fumbled. They also discuss the changing definition of fun as they get older and the idea that success is not about doing the most but being intentional and moving at a sustainable pace. They touch on the concept of not having everything figured out by a certain age and the importance of continuous growth and learning.
Takeaways
The joy of summer activities and spending time at the cottage

The ups and downs of dating and the need for momentum

The benefits of journaling and finding the right journal

The empowerment of going braless and embracing personal comfort

The impact of positive reframes on mindset and well-being Don't take ghosting personally, reframe it as being fumbled

The definition of fun changes as you get older

Success is not about doing the most, but being intentional and moving at a sustainable pace

You don't have to have everything figured out by a certain age, continuous growth is important
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Improving Podcasting Skills
03:04 Embracing Summer Activities and Cottage Life
06:05 Navigating the Ups and Downs of Dating
08:07 The Power of Journaling and Finding the Right Journal
10:12 Empowering Yourself by Going Braless
15:24 Positive Reframes for a Positive Mindset
18:08 Love Island Characters
21:13 Reframing Ghosting
22:07 The Changing Definition of Fun
22:54 Redefining Success
25:19 Continuous Growth and Learning
40 min
July 05, 2024episode 79 - making goals and holding yourself accountable
In this conversation, Meagan and Nicole discuss their intentions for 2024 and reflect on their progress so far. Meagan's intentions include finding joy in new ways, de-centering drinking from her life, prioritizing dating, working out, connecting with friends, traveling, improving social media presence, and nesting in her new home. Nicole's intentions focus on self-care, setting boundaries, prioritizing mental health, and finding balance. They both reflect on their progress and identify areas for improvement. They both prioritize dating and health as key areas of focus. Nicole aims to clear space in her life and prioritize self-care, while Meagan wants to connect with her long-term goals and aspirations. They emphasize the importance of being intentional and consistent in making progress towards their goals.
Takeaways
Setting intentions can help guide personal growth and prioritize important areas of life.

Reflecting on progress and reassessing goals is important for staying on track.

Finding joy in new ways and de-centering unhealthy habits can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and finding balance are essential for overall well-being.

Connecting with friends, traveling, and engaging in new hobbies can bring new experiences and personal growth.

Improving social media presence can help build connections and share experiences.

Creating a comfortable and personalized living space can contribute to a sense of home and well-being. Prioritize dating and health as key areas of focus

Clear space in your life and prioritize self-care

Connect with your long-term goals and aspirations

Be intentional and consistent in making progress towards your goals
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
08:08 Setting Intentions for Personal Growth
12:15 Reflecting on Progress and Reassessing Goals
14:00 Finding Joy and Decentering Unhealthy Habits
15:30 Prioritizing Self-Care and Finding Balance
16:17 Connecting with Friends and Traveling
17:58 Creating a Comfortable and Personalized Home
18:25 Struggles and Mental Health
19:19 Desire for Slow and Grounded Approach
20:40 Setting Boundaries and Removing Unnecessary Tasks
22:39 Having More Fun and Enjoying Life
23:46 Prioritizing Self and Putting Yourself First
24:03 Making Dating Fun Again
27:18 Ingredient Prepping and Health Hacks
28:27 Challenges of Health and Well-being
29:12 Connecting with Long-Term Goals and Aspirations
33:06 Aligning Goals with Long-Term Vision
36:43 Clearing Space and Avoiding Overpacking
39:29 Consistency and Sustainable Progress
41 min
June 28, 2024episode 78 - our dating commandments
In this conversation, Meagan and Nicole discuss their recent dating experiences and the challenges of navigating the early stages of dating. They share stories of disappointing dates and the tendency to overanalyze and future trip. They also discuss the importance of setting personal boundaries and managing expectations. The conversation highlights the rollercoaster of emotions that come with dating and the need to stay grounded and present. In this conversation, Meagan and Nicole discuss their experiences and reflections on dating. They explore topics such as lying to oneself, staying present in relationships, evolving preferences in a partner, the importance of engaging conversations, the role of texting in early stages of dating, and ideal summer date ideas. They emphasize the need for self-reflection, acknowledging luck and timing in dating, and the importance of clear intentions and actions.
Takeaways
Dating can be challenging and frustrating, especially in the early stages.

It's important to set personal boundaries and manage expectations.

Overanalyzing and future tripping can lead to unnecessary stress and disappointment.

Staying grounded and present is key to enjoying the dating process.

The rollercoaster of emotions in dating is normal, but it's important to maintain perspective. Lying to oneself in dating can lead to disappointment and losing oneself in the process.

Staying present in a relationship can be challenging but is important for genuine connection.

As one gets older, the stakes in dating can feel higher, leading to a sense of urgency.

Engaging conversations and active interest in each other's thoughts and experiences are crucial in a relationship.

Texting in the early stages of dating can create a false sense of intimacy and should not be overemphasized.

Ideal summer date ideas include going to a fair, a drive-in movie, or a beach sunset picnic.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
05:18 Canceled Date and Reflections
08:21 Nicole's Date and Disappointments
09:59 Meagan's Dating App Experience
15:02 The Point After the Initial Connection
23:05 Overanalyzing and Creating Imaginary Worlds
24:31 Lying to Yourself in Dating
25:21 The Challenge of Staying Present
26:17 Why Stakes in Dating Feel Higher as You Get Older
30:24 Evolving Preferences in a Partner
30:58 The Importance of Engaging Conversations in Dating
34:36 Navigating Texting in the Early Stages of Dating
45:28 Ideal Summer Date Ideas
48 min
June 14, 2024episode 77 - life lessons we still haven't learned
"Don't sweat the small stuff." "If you love them, tell them." "Work to live, don't live to work." All advice we've struggled to actually take on.
In this conversation, Nicole and Meagan discuss their struggles with taking advice in different areas of their lives. They touch on topics such as work-life balance, physical health, and dating. They both admit to having difficulty prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries. They also reflect on the importance of enjoying the present moment and appreciating their bodies. Overall, the conversation highlights the challenges of implementing advice and the need for self-reflection and growth. In this conversation, Nicole and Meagan discuss various pieces of advice related to different aspects of life, including body image, mental health, relationships, and friendship. They reflect on their own struggles and experiences with the advice, sharing personal anecdotes and insights. The conversation highlights the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and being true to oneself.
Takeaways
Struggling to take advice is a common experience, especially in areas such as work-life balance, physical health, and dating.

Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care are important for overall well-being.

Appreciating the present moment and being grateful for one's body can lead to a more positive mindset.

Reflecting on past experiences can help gain perspective and realize that self-criticism is often unfounded.

Implementing advice requires self-reflection, growth, and a willingness to change. Focus on what your body does for you rather than what it doesn't do

Be ruthless about your own wellbeing

Prioritize sleep and limit phone use before bed

Don't overthink and take action instead

Love yourself and don't try to convince someone to love you

Pay attention to people's actions, not just their words

Don't take things personally and remember that not everything is about you

Surround yourself with people who make you laugh

Invest in meaningful friendships and let go of toxic relationships
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Where We're At Emotionally
09:25 Work-Life Balance and Prioritizing Self-Care
14:14 Struggles with Taking Career Advice
22:12 Physical Health and Self-Perception
25:10 Reflection on Past Experiences and Gratitude
28:57 Conclusion and the Journey of Implementing Advice
35:19 Navigating the Complexities of Dating and Love
39:06 The Importance of Friendship and Laughter
54 min
June 07, 2024episode 76 - why is no one hanging out anymore?
We stepped off the funny train to have a serious conversation about loneliness in your 30s and how to handle it as a single woman.
Loneliness hits different in your mid-30s. We're all in totally different eras of our lives, or at least our friends are. Some of us are spending weekday evening putting our kids to bed, some of us are out on a date, and some of us are sitting on the couch, flicking through channels, wondering what to do with ourselves.
What we discuss in this episode:
The antidote to loneliness is vulnerability. And you need to find people that see you for who you are in order to get to that vulnerability.

It’s important to put in the effort to be spontaneous. Go have that random drink with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile. If your Saturday night plans fall through, make the effort to create new ones. Give someone a call on a long drive. Go to the in-person workout. Those moments will give you more than a couple hours of scrolling or re-watching The Hills.

Those things that make you feel alive and connected to the world are typically experienced alongside other people. Continue to prioritize investing in those experiences even though they require life admin.

You can’t expect the same level of connection through seeing what your friends are doing on Instagram. But even though we don’t know how to classify the type of connection they give us, they do still offer some feeling of connection for us, especially with long-term relationships.

Community is another antidote to loneliness. Whether that’s online or in-person, being able to be a part of something as an adult acts as a proxy for the ‘third spaces’ (clubs, sports teams, etc.) we used to have as kids.
Chapters
00:00 Navigating Post-Holiday Blues and Loneliness
07:14 The Impact of Technology on Intimacy and Connection
11:00 The Significance of Vulnerability in Combatting Loneliness
14:05 The Challenge of Small Talk and Surface-Level Interactions
21:50 Navigating Loneliness in the Digital Age
32:00 The Challenge of Vulnerability in Relationships
35:18 Finding Community in the Modern World

In this episode we dive into an Atlantic article, an Esther Perel and Brene Brown podcast episode, and a few other reference points to chat through what it means to be lonely right now and how we can pull each other out of it.
We hope you enjoy!
41 min

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