Therapy isn’t about hating your mother. It’s not about crying over something that happened when you were six and then dwelling on it for the rest of your life. And the difficulty or trauma you faced back then is not something you can simply “get over” or “move past”.

Good therapy is much more like what Jackie Kashian did, as she describes in this episode. She talks about the violence in her home growing up. And the neglect. And the substance use and death of her mother. Then she talks about going to therapy and figuring out how that past informed her adult life, how it guided her decisions, and how it laid a foundation for the life she would live.

With that understanding in place, she could better distinguish between healthy and unhealthy habits. It’s not dwelling in the past, it’s getting a map for the future.

Listen to Jackie Kashian's podcasts, The Jackie and Laurie Show and The Dork Forest on the podcatcher of your choice. For tour dates, visit Jackie's website, JackieKashian.com. Follow her on Twitter @jackiekashian.

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