Jerk Practice

Before you listen in, make sure you have a loved one “stick a glove up your butt-hole and smell your neck.”

It’s been too shlong but H is now back up and running as an Astorian KIng so look out for the episodes to get NY heavy, NY crazy, and I’m sure NY grumpy before long enough.

This week The JERKS are talkin’ Digital Malts™, working 9 to Zunar, and Casey’s Book of Negated Records™

“They’re takin’ my toes!”

“David Blaine is a malt man.”

“Everybody should be a malt man!”

“You’re all rube or all scrube.”

#RacistForFakes

“Hey Goobers what’s going on?” is what we be like in today’s episode…

The JERKS are dads and they don’t care who knows it! They’re talkin’ greasin’ lawn with hair creams, Nike Pebbles, and the joys of comin’ home and gettin’ in yer oily’s.

“Look at the part on that Van Heel lawn.”

Baby We Made the Ants Big!

#WatertownWeirdos

Listen in as the JERKS talk digital handshakes, front jowls, and “The Dutch Trilogy”

If you take one thing away from this episode - don’t slight Dr. Toilet on his garbage…

“You can’t shit a shitster.”

“Cover that gut with a high pant!”

#SurfsUp #SheetGut

This week the JERKS are talkin’ the Ultimate Jerk (and not a good one like how we are - this guy’s a piece of shit)

The X has gone out of our lives this week as we talk mortal enemies, soft pretzels, and beers at Salty Mikes.

“It’s like a crow dipped its feet in paint and danced on my face”

#Mangle

This just in:

Home Depot - Listed

Old France - Listed

James Cromwell - Double Listed

Oh, the JERKS also talk compression flange galvanizors. Enjoy!

“Who’s the worst offender?”

“Home Depot.”

“There ya go.”

“France is groovy, but their king is weirder though.”

#BookBroke

This week the JERKS give you an aural prostate exam in search of comedy polyps!

Take your saw palmetto pills, cuz the jerks are talkin’ cool riffs and bangin’ gifs…

“Leave the money on the dresser you son of a bitch.”

“Southfork - The Twitter of strip-clubs.”

#AmericanOutragePills

Listen in as the JERKS explain why “everything is monkey, and everything is candy baby!”

Partake in Part I as we talk Cherry Coke ransomed notes, Nazi K-Mart’s free mugs, and how thin the Soup President’s broth really was…

“I said jouked!”

“Twitter is the Talking Toilet of the Internet.”

“Ike spit that nickel out!”

#Figures

Time to put your carrots on the meat slicer JERKS cuz this ep. GOES LBJ ALL THE WAY!

Everybody gag, everybody gag, everybody “Gag-Loose!” And also talk Arizona Watermelon Drinks, self identifying bodies of water, and James Garfield Phones™

“You know me and my love of 1920’s Broadway.”

“Brought to you by Big Drink and Big Church.”

#Old #They #River

Give a big JERK welcome to our brother Pete, BUT don’t look Frank Langella or Tony Sacka Organs in the eyes!

Listen in as the Jerks talk table games, sauce bags, and of course, SaloonDoors.com™

“If I were a weather, what would I be?”

“Don’t say Mexican Cokes, say Spanish.”

“It’s the heroin of crack…opium.”

#Smokes #Smut

Thank you Pete - We love you and there’s nothing you can BREW (in your makeshift scary hybrid thrift-store coffee monster pot) about it

What did one husky-voiced JERK say to the other?.. Listen and find out!.. OK, he said “space is fake and gay.”

This week the JERKS talk about Jesus the Mountain Man’s waterin’ can, buxom Confederate soldiers, and BEEFY NACHOS!!!

“Did we write and perform our own retirement show?

“This just in… Allergies his you later in life.”

#BiologicalLubricant #BeefyNachos #FakeGaySpace