Jerk Practice

We’re going sixty on this one, but ain’t no need to count the minute-miles,or watch Schindler’s List in your head, cuz it’s a good’n.

Join the JERKS in the Cantina at Mos-Dakota on Watooine, as they discuss spiders, spell checks, and “ouu would you look at that combine! That’s a million plus” … sorry got distracted… and dad’s loving a good piece of equipment.

“How long is it going to be?”

“About three hours.”

“Oh OK, so just one Schindler’s List, cool.”

“I’m sorry to the listeners… but not.”

The Long Island JoeLita™

#F%&kPetFees #CheapDads #SensibleMoms #CheapMoms #SensibleDads #F%&kThatHotelClerkThatLikesHisJob #ScamJuicers

Put down the booze and pick up those DEWS cuz the JERKS are UP ALL NIGHT with this one.

Prepare yourself for Hustler Presents: The Glass Stool Cast; Featuring Horny and Lena (AKA Hans and Casey breakdown a religious Mountain Dew Cast) Enjoy guys! No seriously we mean GUYS! ONLY GUYS! This is a GUY’S GUY podcast for GUYS who like GUYS, GUYS!

“Are you there God? It’s me DEW.”

“Get outta here Uncle Hamlet!”

#Mentees #Plumbette #BunkSensors

Shoe House or No Shoe House; it don’t matter to these JERKS. Cuz you’re all invited to this Lutheran Met Gala!

Listen in to the “G Rated Nightmare” of podcast episodes: H and C are talkin’ Glen Holland, one of the great villains of cinema, “fakie cuts,” and Butterfaces with Hot Bods (spoilers: It’s Hans!)

“She’s too gristly for me. She’s all shoulder injury. But no, she’s beautiful; I’m a troll.”  

“And that man turned out to be the Weeknd.”

“And that man grew up to be John Cena.”

#MrHollandsNOPUS #DadsCoatHanger #HumanChiliTots #SoftCharge #BreastWeight #BicDic #AmericanMovie

The JERKS are giving out cokes to creatures and taking names (mainly “Joans” and “Joanie’s”)

In classic fashion, the JERKS hit all the topics: Joan’s, Joanie’s, Tone’s, Tony’s, Tony Johnnie’s, and of course “Dookie Love!”

“Inca Kola smells like Grandpa Joe!”

“Joanie is a boy’s name.”

“Joan is a man’s name.”

#IrishPrideParade #Joan #Joanie #Beefed #Chiseled

If you take one thing away from this week’s episode, let it be this: “Beaches are for Maniacs, and Swirls are for Suckers!”

Listen in as the JERKS discuss the weakness of wacky wedding photos, “Fun Dip: Oops! All Sticks!,” and why poor people’s favorite food is popcorn.”

“He might as well be a human joint.”

“I’m coming in $not.”

#Guzzler #LittleNif & #BigZinc #Featuring #SmokedCreams

Don those vegan minks Jerks, cuz this one’s brought to you by Queen Bey and the Pant-Ays!

Listen in is the JERKS list Anaerobic’s Syndrome, invent the Rodeo Buckle Hat™, and why their boots are always lousy with panties…

“It’s barely been two episodes since we talked about Alf.”

“Alf! No beers!”

#SoftOpen

Crack those sweet World War I flavored sodas, and check your palms for tears cuz this one is salty… The JERKS are talkin’ human meat versus horse meat, Karl Baboonsram, and how pipe-layers make their paychecks (wink)

“The caustic oil from my body are ruining this machinery!”

“It’s got a naked grandmother on the front and it’s called ‘Tony’s Boy.’”

“My wife don’t fart, she f$#%s.”

#CurriedBologna #EdibleTampons #PowerBottoms #VietnamCampCoordinators #JerkPractice #JerkPracticePodcast #SketchComedy #Comedy #Podcast #ComedyPodcast #NYC #NewYork #Ohio #ColumbusOH #NewYorkComedy #OhioComedy #HFace #CaseyVanHeel #WhoFarted #Dom #DomIsRisen

If you identify as lefse, then this episode is for you!

Ole’s in the outhouse inside the kitchen, Lena loves left handed lutefisk, and Enoch only EATS SAUSAGE MADE FROM THE HORN OF THE METATRON!

“We’re like an ant insulting a foot.”

“If I’m getting’ paid, I’m shittin’ in my own house.”

“We’re doing the lefse-belt baby!”

#HornSausage “WaitingForOle

Holey Schmagoley! Captain Cotter’s ghost made sure that this episode is “Oops! All Bronx.”

Welcome to the Crag Show! Staring such topics as questionable Cousin Fratelli’s, Wig n’ Hat shows starring over the hill middling sketch comics, and Vietnamese briefs.

“He blew 9-11 down his throat!”

“Oh right, well… he buried Kel.”

#TravoltaThreeSurgence

Come join the Kampeska Lake Snakes for Episode 250!

It’s all Yoga in Jeans this week as the JERKS talk throwing cigarettes at fish, making your parents do your paper route, and how some South Dakota idiot recited his multiplication tables instead of the Lord’s Prayer…

“I’ll put medicine on my Wendy’s and eat it.”

“Do a downward dog ya hog!”

#NoLubricant