开口英语

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Chandler: Here we go. Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to
do is reach over and put it back in my mouth. Good
save! We're back on track, and I'm...chewing someone
else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my
God! And now you're choking.
Jill: Are you alright? My God, you're choking! Better?
Chandler: Yes... thank you. That was... that was....
Jill: Perfection?



Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you? because I
met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Chandler: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-
dependent', or 'self-destructive'...
Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?
Chandler: Yes please.
Shelley: Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's-
Chandler: He's a he?
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm
just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now... Okay,
byebye...

48.The Animal Shelter

A: Let's go to the animal shelter.
B: What do you want to do?
A: I want to get a puppy for my son.
B: That will make him so happy.
A: I'll get him one of those little dogs.
B: One that won't grow up too big.
A: And eat too much.
B: Do you know which one he would like?
A: Oh, yes, I took him there yesterday. He showed me one that he really liked.
B: I bet you had to drag him away.
A: He wanted to take it home yesterday.
B: I wonder what he'll name it.

48.动物收容所

我们去动物收容所吧。
你想干嘛？
我想为我儿子买个小狗。
那会让他很高兴的。
我要给他买一条那种小小的狗。
那种不会长很大的。
而且不会吃太多的。
你知道他喜欢那一条吗？
噢，是的，我昨天带他去了，他给我看了一条他确实很喜欢的。
我敢打赌你是把他拽走的。
他昨天就想把狗带回家了。
不知道他会给狗取什么名字呢。

4.Losing a Love One 失去所爱的人

Abby lost her mom yesterday. Her mom got into a car accident. A drunk driver hit her mom's car. The drunk driver is now in jail. Abby visited the jail to make him feel bad. "You know what you did, right?" Abby asked. The drunk driver nodded and said, "I'm sorry." He started crying. "'Sorry' is not going to bring my mom back. Your carelessness took away my mom."
The drunk driver continued to cry. "I drank, because I was feeling lonely." Abby was mad and left the jail. She didn't want to see his face ever again. She wanted him to go to jail for life. Abby could barely wake up. She requested to take a week off her work. She loved her job, but she could not stop thinking about her mom.
Abby's husband told her to do something instead of watching TV all day. Abby agreed with him. It was time for her to start doing something productive. She wanted to do something that would make her mom proud. Abby created a program to prevent drunk driving. She wanted to give drunk people free rides. Abby visited colleges, clubs, and bars all across the country to encourage people not to drive when drinking.

Charlie Teddy Hey, Charlie, Teddy here
Spencer On the couch where I almost got my first kiss with Spencer.
But she didn&`&t.
No no, because
I made the mistake of bringing the cute boy home
Where my dear family lives.
He wasn&`&t that cute.
Get out.
Anyway, still waiting on that first kiss.
But there&`&s a dance this Friday
Where the girls ask the guys,
And this time I&`&m going to make sure I get it.
Get what, honey?
A+ Oh, my first A+ in science, daddy.
That&`&s my girl.
Hey, dad, great news. I got a job.
Stop right there. I&`&m having the greatest dream of my life.
DJ The school&`&s gonna pay me 100 bucks to DJ at the dance on Friday.
The dream continues.
DJ I just need you to give me $200 to rent the DJ equipment.
And now I&`&m awake.
Hey, what was I doing in the dream?
You weren&`&t saying anything, which is why I thought it was a dream.
P.J. P.J., why would you take a job where you&`&re gonna lose money?
Does everything always have to be about money?
Are you giving me the 200?
Sorry, son. You&`&re gonna have to come up with the money some other way.
Like how?
Oh, I know. Get a job.
I&`&ll be right back.
Wait, where&`&s your sister?
Emmett Don&`&t bother her, Emmett.
Okay, where shouldn&`&t I bother her?
In the kitchen.
All right. Thanks
Hey, Teddy bear.
Emmett Hey, Emmett.
You know this dance this Friday night is"girls ask guys," right?
Uh-huh.
You&`&re a girl. I&`&m a guy.
Something you want to ask me?
Emmett Okay, Emmett, listen,
P.J. P.J. is my brother and you&`&re his best friend.
So in a way you&`&re kind of like my brother too.
And I can&`&t go to the dance with my brother.
You can see why that would be wrong, right?
This is the longest conversation we&`&ve ever had.
Did you hear anything I just said?
Something about wanting to go to the dance with a brother.
Emmett Emmett, I want you to listen to me very carefully.
I&`&m not going to ask you to the dance.
When you touch me it feels like electricity.
Today&`&s all burnt toast
running late, and dad jokes
Has anybody seen my left shoe
I close my eyes, take a bite
Grab a ride, laugh out loud
There it is up on the roof
I&`&ve been there, I&`&ve survived
So just take my advice
Hang in there, baby,
Things are crazy
But I know your future is bright
Hang in there, Baby
There is no maybe
Eveything turns out all right
Sure life is up and down
But trust me, it comes back all around
You&`&re gonna love who you turn out to be
Hang in there, Baby
Good Luck Charlie S01E05 Dance Off
Hi, kids.
Hey, mom.
Charlie Come on, Charlie, let&`&s go see daddy.
You know what I realized today?
Charlie Charlie&`&s never played laser tag.
I bet she&`&d enjoy doing that on Friday night.
Oh, how very sweet and unselfish of you.
Charlie But Charlie&`&s gonna be with us Friday night.
It&`&s your school&`&s open house.
Right. Forgot about that.
Well, we haven&`&t.
Mellish Dad and I can&`&t wait to meet this miracle worker--Mrs. Mellish.
She&`&s the first teacher who hasn&`&t called to complain about you.
Are you sure he&`&s actually going to school?
Mom, you&`&ve been to so many open houses.
And you&`&d love laser tag.
It&`&s like a workout but you get to shoot stuff.
Oh, come on, we can play laser tag anytime.
Meeting a teacher that has no problems with you--
That may never happen again.
This is bad.
What&`&s bad?
The only reason I haven&`&t been getting in trouble
Is that I told my teacher mom and dad have been fighting a lot.
That actually works?
You also have to give the teacher one of these.
Wow, that&`&s good.
I almost hugged you. And I never want to hug you.
Mellish Works even better on Mrs. Mellish.
Any time I do something wrong--
Mommy and daddy were fighting again.
Wow.
Well, I guess your evil plan is gonna be over on Friday night,
&`&cause mom and dad won&`&t be fighting.
Or will they?
So who are you asking to the dance?
Okay, here&`&s a hint. He&`&s really cute and--
You ladies talking about me again?
You know I&`&m not talking about you,
Since I dumped your sorry butt a long time ago.
That&`&s now how me and my sorry butt remember it.
Remind me again why you ever went out with him.
Only one way to explain it--
Brain fart.
Brain fart.
So who&`&s this cutie you&`&re gonna ask?
Spencer Spencer.
Oh, right,
Mr. Almost first kiss.
You&`&d better get moving on that. Your window is closing.
What window?
The window of opportunity.
Oh, thanks. That really clears things up.
T T, you almost kissed this guy,
But nothing happened since then.
If you don&`&t act soon, you&`&re doomed to be just friends.
Spencer I like Spencer, he likes me,
And I&`&ll ask him when the time is right.
That better be right now, chica,
Lauren Sandoval Because Lauren Sandoval is gonna ask him.
Lauren Lauren would never do that to me. She&`&s too good a friend.
There&`&s your good friend right now.
Spencer Here? Walking up to Spencer
What? That little witch!
Yeah!
Lauren Oh, Lauren, you poor thing.
What a horrible, ugly tomatoey mess you are.
Come on, pizza face, let&`&s get you cleaned up.
Come on.
Spencer Oh, Spencer, hey. Didn&`&t see you there.
Teddy Hi, Teddy.
Boy, that pizza really came out of nowhere, huh?
Yeah. Nice shot.
It&`&s all in the wrist.
Now tell me again
And don&`&t leave out a single detail--
What exactly did Spencer say when you asked him?
He said, and I quote,
"Okay."
Oh, wouldn&`&t it be so romantic
If I got my first kiss during a slow dance?
That could happen if you don&`&t wear that red polka dot thing
That makes you look like a clown.
No no, you&`&re right.
I should dress more subtle and understated
Like you.
That&`&s all I&`&m saying.
Now I just have to figure out
Spencer How Spencer and I are gonna get to the dance.
How are you getting there?
I haven&`&t asked anyone yet.
I&`&m still trying to decide between five guys.
Well, do any of them drive?
Let&`&s see...
Sophomore, freshman, sophomore,
Eighth-grader I don&`&t really want to talk about,
And sophomore.
So no, no drivers on the list.
That&`&s too bad, because if you could find somebody who drives
Spencer Then Spencer and I could double with you.
Yeah, consider it done. I&`&ll just expand my list
And lower my standards a little bit.
Lower than the eighth grade?
You want a ride or not?
Okay, they say it&`&s gonna be chilly tonight.
I want to make sure you&`&re nice and toasty.
Did I remember to change your diaper?
I&`&m gonna go with yes.
Are you ready to go?
Yeah
It is gonna be so nice to go to an open house
And not to have to hear the words
Gabe "Oh, you&`&re Gabe&`&s parents."
Mom, are you wearing perfume?
I am.
Oh.
What? You don&`&t like it?
Oh, I like it, but...
But what? Does someone else not like it?
I don&`&t want to get dad in trouble.
Wait, dad says he doesn&`&t like my perfume?
He doesn&`&t just say it. He makes a face too.
And sometimes there&`&s gagging.
Oh.
Well, that&`&s interesting.
Has your father shared anything else with you
About how I disgust him?
I&`&ve said too much already.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Nice jacket, dad.
Isn&`&t it? Got my company logo right there--
Free advertising and a great conversation starter.
Does mom know you&`&re wearing it?
Oh, I&`&ve been dressing myself for some time now.
So no, I didn&`&t run it by her.
Oh, I guess she&`&ll just have to live with it.
Why? Is there a problem?
I don&`&t want to get mom in trouble,
But just between us,
She thinks you talk too much about your job.
I talk too much about my job--
The same job that puts a roof over your mother&`&s head?
Hey, I&`&m on your side.
So what else does she say about me behind my back?
I&`&ve said too much already.
Come on, guys. Gotta go. Gonna be late.
Well, we&`&re taking the bug truck,
If that&`&s okay with you.
As long as the windows work.
I don&`&t want to trigger anyone&`&s gag reflex.
Women.
Hey, good luck at your open house tonight.
Good luck at whatever you&`&re dressed so weird for.
Look at you.
Oh, no, look at you.
Well, I wish I was someone else
So I could look at both of us.
So where&`&s your date?
Parking the car.
Oh, I like it. Who is he?
Okay, about that-- there&`&s something you should know--
&`&sup?
Emmett Emmett, would you excuse us for a minute real quick?
Okay, just--
Emmett Emmett?
We needed transportation.
Emmett It was either emmett or an eighth-grader
With a skateboard.
Let&`&s just go have a good time, okay?
Shall we?
Teddy bear.
Grizzly bear.
You look really nice.
You are really nice.
Thanks.
Whose car is this?
My grandpa&`&s. He thinks I&`&m at the store getting bread.
But instead
You&`&ll be at the dance getting nothing.
Wow, looks like my seat belt&`&s broken.
Maybe I should sit in the middle.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
&`&cause I&`&m all about safety.
Teddy Teddy, you&`&re blocking my view.
Spencer You mind moving away from Spencer?
Big guy, lean the other way.
More.
More.
Emmett Emmett, if he leans any more, he&`&ll fall out of the car.
More.
Well, this is my classroom.
Mellish Mrs. Mellish looks busy.
Maybe we should come back next year.
Whoa, p-u alert.
I get it, okay?
Charlie I&`&m talking about Charlie&`&s diaper. What&`&s her problem?
Heck if I know.
And for your information,
Some people find that scent very pleasant.
A full diaper?
I&`&m gonna be back in a minute.
Charlie I&`&m gonna go change Charlie, okay?
Okay
Gabe Hi, Gabe.
Mellish Hi, Mrs. Mellish.
How is my brave little soldier?
Not good. mom and dad are fighting again.
Oh, you poor thing.
They&`&ve been fighting all week.
I don&`&t think I can get that book report into time you on Tuesday.
That&`&s okay, dear.
You take all the time you need.
I don&`&t need time.
I need happiness.
Oh.
All right. That song was brought to you by Freddy&`&s stereo hut.
When you&`&re ready to rock steady, go see Freddy.
P.J. P.J., what&`&s with all the commercials?
That&`&s how I&`&m paying for all the equipment.
I got some sponsors to buy advertising.
Who would buy advertising from you?
You&`&d be surprised.
This next one is brought to you by mom
Who gave me 20 bucks.
Mom-- when you absolutely, positively
Can&`&t get any more money out of dad.
Bob Bob, come here, honey, look.
Gabe Look at this picture Gabe drew.
Isn&`&t that sweet?
Yeah, it sure is. You know what, honey?
I guess we&`&re doing something right.
Would you look at that?
Gabe Gabe, it seems like your parents are getting along.
I&`&m gonna go introduce myself.
Gotta think. gotta think.
Ricky It&`&s go time, Ricky.
Excuse me, lady. You&`&ve got a rat on your shoulder.
Rat on the loose!
Remain calm. Remain calm.
Remain calm. Remain calm.
Spencer Spencer, could you get me some punch, please?
Sure. I&`&ll be right back.
Emmett Emmett, why don&`&t you go get me some punch too?
What, your feet don&`&t work?
Ice or no ice?
Surprise me.
I think it&`&s time for me to make my move.
Go get that kiss, girl.
P.J. Hey, P.J., put on a slow song, okay?
You got it, sis.
Okay, we&`&re gonna bring it down now,
Wally Just like you should bring yourselves down to Wally&`&s Waffles.
P.J. Tell them P.J. sent you. You can get a free pat of butter.
Here you go.
Oh, thanks.
Let&`&s dance.
Yo, quick, throw on some hip-hop.
But I just started this song.
Now.
Emmett Okay, this next one is brought to you by Emmett.
Emmett Emmett-- he&`&s...
Standing right there.
What just happened?
Emmett Emmett stole my date.
Back we go, little guy,
Safe and sound.
Boy, really tired. We should go.
Duncan Thank you, Mr. Duncan. That was very impressive.
Well, when you&`&ve been in

47.Let's Not Go Out

A: I hate to go outside.
B: Me too.
A: Why do you hate to go outside?
B: I meet too many jerks.
A: I agree.
B: This city is full of jerks.
A: Rude people are everywhere.
B: But what can you do?
A: You can yell at them.
B: And they will yell back at you.
A: Yelling doesn't do any good.
B: No. The best thing to do is just stay home.

47.咱们别出门了

我讨厌出门。
我也是。
因为什么讨厌出门？
我遇见太多混蛋了。
我同意。
这城市里太多混蛋了。
没礼貌的人到处都是。
但是你能怎么办呢？
你可以吼他们。
然后他们就会吼你。
大喊大叫不会有什么好处。
是的，最好的办法就是待在家里。

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拜访同事的礼仪

Are you at home this Saturday evening?
Do you mind if I stop by on Saturday night?
I just wanna drop in for a chat.
How about having dinner with me and my husband?
I will be there around 6 o’clock, OK? I’ll bring the wine.
They should get to know each other.
That would be great.
I’m looking forward to it.


请同事帮忙的礼仪

Do you have a moment?
Yes. Need a hand?
Can you do me a favor? I don’t know how to use the copier.
Thank you for your time. I really appreciate it.
If there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask.
Likewise. I’m here if you need me.
Hey, Susan. If you need me, let me know.
It’s kind of you, but I really don’t want to trouble you.

本课程由开口英语原创，未经允许严禁转载

3. She Has a Unibrow 她是一字眉

Marissa was born with a physical imperfection. She has a unibrow. A unibrow is one long brow. Most people have two eyebrows. People make fun of her for having a unibrow. A lot of people don't want to be friends with her. She does have two good friends though. Heather and Joe are Marissa's best friends. They accept Marissa for who she is.
Heather was approached by the popular kids. The leader of the popular kids was Amy. Amy offered Heather a spot in her group if she left Marissa. Heather thought about it. Although she loved Marissa, she always dreamt of being popular. She told Amy that she had to think about the offer.
Heather told Joe what happened. Joe was mad that Heather had to even think about it. "You have been friends with Marissa forever," Joe said. Heather thought about it. She thought about all the times she and Marissa did homework together, ate together, and laughed together. It wasn't worth it to give all that up for popularity. She called Amy. "I'm never leaving Marissa, she's beautiful on the inside." After talking to Amy, Heather asked Marissa and Joe to hang out.

1. Island In the Sun - Weezer

2. I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas

3. Katy Perry-Teenage Dream

4. Green Day-American Idiot

5. SweetBox-Don'T Push Me

6. Nu Virgos Via Gra - stop stop stop

46.The Elephant

A: Yikes! What was that noise?

B: I had to blow my nose.

A: Did you have to blow right next to the phone?

B: Did you hear that?

A: Of course I heard that. I thought a plane had crashed into your house.

B: It wasn't that loud.

A: I will blow my nose sometime for you, and you'll see.

B: Okay. I'll take your word for it.

A: I thought you had an elephant in your house.

B: You're funny.

A: What did you say? I think I've gone deaf.

B: I'm going into the bathroom to blow my nose. I'll be right back.

46.大象

咦~那是什么声音啊？

我得擤鼻涕。

你非得对着电话擤吗？

你听见了？

当然听见了，我还以为一架飞机撞到你家了呢。

哪有那么大声啊。

我什么时候擤鼻涕给你看你就知道差距了。

好吧，那我就相信你。

我还以为你家有只大象呢。（依然在调侃他擤鼻涕动静太大）

你真有趣。

你说什么？我想我耳朵聋了。

我要去洗手间擤鼻涕了。马上回来。

最实用、最地道、最好玩的口语课！

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Chandler: Ross, ten o'clock.
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Ross: What?
Chandler: There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream
about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, right. and what would my opening line be?
'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'


Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross,
back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful
women with these really nothing guys, you could be one
of those guys.
Monica: You could do that!
Chandler: Y'think?
All: Yeah!
Chandler: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very
very aware of my tongue...