Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Friendship Advice for Kids (K-8)

Ep. 106: Different Kinds of Friends

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of two situations involving other people where you act differently (e.g., at home vs. at school, with close friends vs. casual friends, at a party with friends vs. at a party with your grandparents). How and why do you act differently in these two situations?

- Not every friend will be a close friend. What are some good reasons to have casual friends?

- Have you ever felt uncomfortable around people you didn’t know well? What did you do? What could someone have done in that situation to help you feel more comfortable? Have you ever done that for someone else?

- Dr. Friendtastic often talks about many possible reasons why someone might have done something, other than trying to be mean. Why is this a good thing to do when you have a problem with a friend? (HINT: How might it affect how you respond?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 71 - Is she a friend or not? (Tali, Age 11) https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep71-tali-age-11-is-she-a-friend-or-not

Ep. 60 - Friends invited but not him (Henry, Age 8) https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8

Ep. 26 - Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothing (Abigail, Age 10) https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-26-abigail

Ep. 105 How to speak up for yourself

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

Why is it a good idea to think about your role in the problem when you’re mad at someone?

How do you decide whether to try to solve a problem on your own or get a grown-up involved?

What does assertiveness mean? Why does it matter in a friendship?

When you’re mad at a friend, why is it important to ask for what you want them to do from now on?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 96 - Dealing with a bossy friend (Grace, Age 9)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/dealing-with-a-bossy-friend-grace

Ep. 93 - Not invited to the party! (Alice, Age 6)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep93-alice-age-6-not-invited-to-a-party

Ep. 89 - Getting in trouble (Noah, Age 7)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep89-noah-age-7-getting-in-trouble

Ep. 104 Pretend fighting vs. real fighting

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Play fighting or rough-and-tumble play can come in many forms: wrestling, tag, pretend sword fights, snowball fights… How do you feel about those? Why do some kids like play fighting?

- What are some differences between play fighting and real fighting?

- What are some good reasons to talk about a problem with a friend when it’s actually happening? What are some good reasons for discussing a problem at a neutral time, when it’s not happening?

- How and why should your goal shift if you’ve asked a kid to stop doing something, but they don’t stop? (HINT: What should you focus on, instead?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 99 - Best friend makes a big mistake! (Rosetta, Age 5)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep99-best-friend-makes-a-big-mistake-rosetta-age5

Ep. 74 - Friend hits her! (Aubrey, Age 6)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep74-aubrey-age-6-friend-hits-her

Ep. 70 - Knowing when and how to stop (Owen, Age 8)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep70-owen-age-8-stop-signals

Ep. 103 - Dealing with Nosy Friends

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Would you ever want to try phone booth stuffing? Why or why not?

- Why is it a good idea to discuss a problem with a friend privately (with just the two of you)? (Hint: how might “audience participation” make the situation worse?)

- Why do you think kids sometimes talk to a friend about a conflict they’re having with someone else? What are some ways that might be helpful? How could this make the problem worse?

- Who do you confide in when you feel overwhelmed by a conflict or other problem?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 83 - One friend feels left out (Eloise, Age 8)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/eloise-age-8-fights-with-close-friends

Ep. 78 - How to confront a friend

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep78-how-to-confront-a-friend

Ep. 73 - Best friend suddenly stops playing with him (J.J., Age 11)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep73-jj-age-11-best-friend-stops-playing-with-him

Re-release of Ep. 13 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Friend doesn't want her to have other friends (Mara, Age 9)

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever had an Octopus friend, someone who wanted to keep you all to themselves? How did you handle it?

- Why do you think trying to hold on tightly to a friend because you’re scared of losing them makes it more likely that you’ll lose them?

- Have you ever had a friendship where you liked the other person more than they liked you? How did you feel? What did you do?

- Having more than one friend can be tricky. How do you decide which friend(s) to play with and when?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 84 - Torn between two friends who don’t like each other (Jennifer, Age 10)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep84-jennifer-age-10-torn-between-two-friends-who-dont-like-each-other

Ep. 4 - One friend feels left out (Thomas, Age 13)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-71f

Ep. 17 - Balancing a best friend and another friend (Sophie, Age 10)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sophie

Ep. 102 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Why both negative and positive feelings help us build strong friendships

Aida wants to know how to express her feelings with friends. Learn tips for what is most likely to get a good response...or not!

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why is expressing both positive and negative feelings important for building a strong friendship?

- What are some unhelpful ways to express negative feelings? What should you do instead?

- Use the “I feel…when you… because… Please…” formula to create an example of how you might express negative feelings to a friend. Why is this a useful formula? (Hint: What information does it give your friend?)

- What are some reasons why kids sometimes have trouble expressing positive feelings to a friend? Why do they sometimes have trouble expressing negative feelings to a friend? (Hint: What are they be afraid might happen?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 67 - Choosing good friends (Paul, Age 12)https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/paul-age-12-choosing-friends-who

Ep. 45 - Gets angry at classmates (Reid, Age 5)https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/reid-age-5-gets-angry-at-classmates

Ep. 86 - How to know if you can trust a friend (Sally, Age 14) https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep86-sally-age-14-how-to-know-if-you-can-trust-a-friend

Ep. 101 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Finding the "just-right" level of friendliness | Friendship advice for kids

Adeline wants to know how to help a news classmate, but she’s also concerned about coming on too strong and overwhelming the new student.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why is it sometimes hard to be the new kid in a class?

- Why is it not a good idea to go to someone’s home and try all their beds? (Hint: How is that likely to make them feel?)

- What are some clues that you might be coming on too strong and overwhelming a friend? (Hint: What might the friend say or do to let you know this?)

- How is a conversation like a game of catch?

- If you’re not sure how a friend is feeling about something, what’s the quickest way to find out? Why is this a kind thing to do?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 82: Expand friend group without hurting best friend (Paa, Age 12)https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep82-paa-age-12-expand-friend-group-without-hurting-best-friend

Ep. 72: Making friends in a new school (Nora, Age 8) https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep72-nora-age-8-making-friends-new-schl

Ep. 70: Knowing when and how to stop (Owen, Age 8)https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep70-owen-age-8-stop-signals

Ep. 100 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Hear what kids have learned from 100 episodes of friendship advice for kids

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Dr. Friendtastic says that friendship skills aren’t about just doing one thing because we have to be “able to flexibly adjust our behavior to fit the situation.” What does this mean? How might you adjust your behavior to fit a situation?

- How is managing friendship a bit like walking on a balance beam? (Hint: What are some of the things we need to balance?)

- Thinking about your own life, what have you learned about friendship in the past year?

- If you were to send in a question about friendship to Dr. Friendtastic, what would you want to ask?

- Which is your favorite episode of the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast? Why?

- If you could have 100 of anything (not any form of money), what would you choose? Why? Where would you keep them?

*** These are the original podcast episodes of the kids featured on the 100th episode celebration:

Ep. 88: How to Support an Injured Friend (Sophia, age 7)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep88-sophia-age-7-how-to-support-a-friend

Ep. 38: Wondering how to be popular (Richard, age 11)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/richard-age-11-wondering-how-to-be-popular

Ep. 75: Upset when he loses a game (Alex, age 10)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep75-alex-age-a10-upset-when-he-loses-a-game

Ep. 36: Dealing with peer pressure (Ann, age 9)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ann-age-9-dealing-with-peer-pressure

Ep. 96: Dealing with a bossy friend (Grace, age 9)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/dealing-with-a-bossy-friend-grace

Ep. 31: When someone tries to be annoying (Mila, age 10)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep31-mila

Ep. 40: Friendly brother also acts wild (Vihaan, age 6)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/vihaan-age-6-friendly-brother-acts-wild

Ep. 51: Mean comment said behind her back (Saoirse, age 8)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/saoirse-age-8-mean-comment-said-behind

Ep. 35: Peers put down his interests (Ryan, age 11)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ryan-age-11-peers-put-down-his-interests

Ep. 99 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: What happens after a friend does something mean? | Friendship advice for kids

Rosetta wants to know what to do when the girl she considers her best friend does something seriously unkind.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why is it important to tell friends what you’re thinking or feeling (even if you think it’s obvious)?

- What are some reasons why you might want to forgive a friend who does something bad to you?

- Dr. Friendtastic suggests thinking about two questions after a friend does something you don’t like: 1) What do you think is likely to happen from now on? and 2) Is there anything you could do to make the problem less likely to happen?

- How might these questions help you decide whether to continue a friendship?

- Would you enjoy having a sword fight with a friend using pool noodles? Why or why not?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 87 - People passing notes about her (Leni, Age 9)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep87-leni-age-9-people-passing-notes-about-her

Ep. 73 - Best friend stops playing with him (J.J., Age 11)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep73-jj-age-11-best-friend-stops-playing-with-him

Ep. 28 - Dealing with spill-over anger (Avni, Age 11)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-28-avni

Ep. 98 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Friendship group drama | Friendship advice for kids

Jessica wants to join a friend group, not not everyone is welcoming.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- What are some groups you belong to? What do you have in common with other group members? Is it easy or hard for new people to join those groups?

- Why do you think kids sometimes don’t want new people to join their friendship group? (Hint: What might they be afraid could happen?)

- Would you rather be in a friendship group where everyone is equal or where you get to be the boss? Why?

- What qualities make some kids more powerful than others in a friendship group? In other words, why do other kids let certain kids be “in charge”?

How could building up one-on-one friendships help you join a group?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 8 - Excluded by friends (Blake, Age 11)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-1b6

Ep. 9 - Told she can't play (Ava, Age 9)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep9

Ep. 60 - Friends invited but not him (Henry, Age 8)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8