Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Friendship Advice for Kids (K-8)

Ep. 87 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Figuring out what we can and can’t control.

Leni feels hurt and angry that kids are passing notes about her. What can she do?

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think kids sometimes pass notes about other kids?

- What are some reasons why Leni does NOT have to know what’s in the notes about her? (Hint: How would she feel if she read a mean note about her?)

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “We can’t control what other people do.” What are some things you CAN control in your interactions with other kids?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 76 – Ayana, Age 10: Friends ditch her

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep76-anaya-age-10-friends-ditch-her

Ep. 51 - Saorise, Age 8: Mean comment said behind her back

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/saoirse-age-8-mean-comment-said-behind

Ep. 35 - Ryan, Age 11: Peer put down his interests

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ryan-age-11-peers-put-down-his-interests

Ep. 86 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: What makes a trustworthy friend?

Sally wants to know how she can tell if a friend is trustworthy.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever thought that a friend betrayed your trust? What happened? How did you handle it?

- What are some things you do to show your friends that they can trust you?

- Why do you think kids sometimes blab their friend’s secrets? 

- What should you do if you accidentally tell another kid something that your friend wanted to keep private?

- Dr. Friendtastic said, “It takes courage to trust someone, especially if you’ve been burned before.” Why is it sometimes hard to trust people? Why is trusting people important for building close friendships

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 84 - Eloise, age 8: Fights with close friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/eloise-age-8-fights-with-close-friends

Ep. 79 - Mar, age 11: Is your friend a fake friend?https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep79-mar-age-11-is-your-friend-a-fake-friend

Ep. 81 - Nicoletta, age 14: Friend's secret could harm https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep81-nicoletta-age-14-friends-secret-could-harm

Ep. 85  - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: No friend group has more power than you.  

Nev wonders what her mom means when she says, "No friend group has more power than you."

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Would you rather hang out with just one friend or a group of friends? Why? 

- What are some ways that friend groups might influence you?

- Why is it sometimes hard for kids to stand up for what they want in a friendship group? (Hint: What might they be afraid could happen?)

- Dr. Friendtastic says that hiding how you feel can be unfair to you and to your friends. How is it unfair to you? How is it unfair to your friends?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 76 - Ayana, age 10: Friends ditch herhttps://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep76-anaya-age-10-friends-ditch-her

Ep. 64 - Blake, age 13: Make friends with different interestshttps://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep64-blake

Ep. 48 - Lily, age 6: New friend claims to be best friendhttps://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/lily-age-6-new-friend-claims-to-be-best-friend

Ep. 84 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with a friendship tug-of-war.

Jennifer wants to know what to do when two friends who don't like each other each want to be her partner.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- A friendship tug-of-war happens when two friends each try to pull a friend in the middle to their side. How do you think the friends on each end feel? (Hint: Why are they pulling?) How do you think the friend in the middle feels?

- If you were in Jennifer’s situation, and two friends who didn’t like each other both wanted to partner with you, would you choose to work with one, work with both, or work with neither? Why would you choose that option?

- Do you prefer to pick your own partner for school projects or have the teacher assign partners? Why?

- What do you think are the qualities of a good work partner? Do you believe that you are a good work partner? Why or why not?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 13 - Mara, age 9: Friend doesn't want her to have other friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-13-mara

Ep. 17 - Sophie, age 10: Balancing a best friend and another friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sophie

Ep. 47 - Brayden, age 9: Why are friends important? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/brayden-age-9-why-are-friends-important

Ep. 83 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: How to make conflict less frequent and less painful.

Eloise wonders why best friends have bad fights.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever had a big argument with a close friend? What happened?

- What do you think are some common topics friends argue about?

- What does it mean to “assume good intentions”? Why is this an important thing to do in a friendship?

- Why do you think kids sometime have trouble asking friends for what they want or need?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 1 - Naomi, age 7: Friendship ends over small thing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-1

Ep. 53 - Lillian, age 11: How to stay calm when someone is bragging https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/lillian-age-11-how-to-stay-calm-when

Ep. 73 - J.J., age 11: Best friend suddenly stops playing with him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep73-jj-age-11-best-friend-stops-playing-with-him

Ep. 82 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: How to make new friends and keep the old.

Paa wants to expand her friend group but how can she do that without hurting her best friend?

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever tried to expand your friend group? What did you do? How did it work?

- Dr. Friendtastic said that the easiest and kindest way Paa could expand her friend group is to invite her current best friend to be part of that goal. Why do you think that might be a good option?

- Why is inviting someone to do something fun with you outside of where you normally see them a good way to deepen a friendship? (Hint: What does that show them about how you feel about them?) 

- What are some ways you could show a friend that they matter to you?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 4 - Thomas, Age 13: One friend feels left out https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-71f Ep. 13 - Mara, Age 9: Friend doesn't want her to have other friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-13-mara Ep. 67 - Paul, Age 12: Choosing good friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/paul-age-12-choosing-friends-who

Ep. 81 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Knowing when to tell an adult

Nicoletta is worried about what to do when a friend begs her to keep a secret that could harm the friend.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Tattling means trying to get someone in trouble. Telling means talking to an adult to prevent someone from being hurt or something from being broken. If Nicoletta decides to tell an adult about her friend’s secret, is that tattling or telling? Why?

- If you were in a situation like Nicoletta’s, who are the trusted adults in your life that you could go to for help?

- Why do kids sometimes NOT want to go to an adult when they’re having a serious problem? (Hint: Why do you imagine Nicoletta’s friend begged her not to tell her secret to anyone?)

- What could Nicoletta say to her friend if the friend gets mad at her for telling?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 1 - Naomi, Age 7: Friendship ends over small thing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-1

Ep. 6 - Jayden, Age 9: Wondering why kids bully https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep6-why-kids-bully

Ep. 78 - How to confront a friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep78-how-to-confront-a-friend

Ep. 80 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with a manipulative friend

Laina wonders how to deal with a manipulative friend. But what does that even mean?

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever had a friend who tried to get you to do something you didn’t want to do? What did the friend do? How did you handle it?

- What’s the difference between trying to manipulate someone and trying to influence them?

- Why is it NOT a good idea to tell someone that they’re a bad person? What could you do instead?

- Why is it useful to try to imagine someone else’s perspective, even (or especially) if you’re mad at them?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “Your friend can’t actually MAKE you do anything you don’t want to do.” What does that mean?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 65 - Bridget, Age 14: Handling a controlling friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep65-bridget-age-14

Ep. 10 - Isaac, Age 7.5: Friend is disrespectful https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-10-isaac

Ep. 15 - Evie, Age 9: What is a close friend? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-15-evie

Ep. 79 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Is your friend a fake friend?

Mar wants to know how to recognize a fake friend.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- How would you define “being fake”? Why do you think kids sometimes act in ways that don’t match what they really think or feel?

- Why do kids sometimes act differently in different situations or with different people? Why is this NOT the same as being fake?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “Every friendship, if it lasts long enough, is going to hit a rough spot.” What do you think are some good ways to move past a friendship rough spot?

- Have you ever had an unreliable friend–someone you felt you couldn’t count on? How did you handle this?

- What does it mean to trust a friend? Can you trust a friend who makes a mistake and says or does something unkind? Why or why not?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 24 - Olivia, Age 13: Some friendships have limits https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-24-olivia

Ep. 26 - Sam, Age 13: Joining a new group of friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sam

Ep. 34 - Chloe, Age 9: Upset by name-calling https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/chloe-age-9-upset-by-name-calling

Ep. 78 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: How to confront a friend.

What can you say when a friend does something that upsets you? How do you get your message across without wrecking the friendship?

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- What does it mean to confront a friend about a problem? Have you ever had to do that? What happened?

- How do you decide when to confront a friend about a problem and when to let it go? 

- Why do you think kids are sometimes afraid to confront a friend about a problem?

- Why are refusing to talk to a friend and telling everyone except your friend what your friend did wrong NOT helpful strategies for solving a problem with a friend? What could you do instead?

- Dr. Friendtastic said, “A good confrontation is not about…proving you’re good and they’re bad! It’s about building and repairing a friendship.” What does that mean?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 73 - J.J., Age 11: Best friend suddenly stops playing with him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep73-jj-age-11-best-friend-stops-playing-with-him

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cuts her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair

Ep. 65 - Bridget, Age 14: Handling a controlling friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep65-bridget-age-14