Dr. Ali Mushtaq joins us to share his journey from a conservative upbringing to leather title holder and discusses how BDSM education can be more inclusive and justice-oriented. Some of the questions he covers includes:

When and why is it important to talk about race in BDSM?

How can we bring anti-oppression frameworks to kinky spaces?

How do you walk to a partner about racial inequality?

What is sexual racism and how does it cause harm — physically and emotionally?

How do power dynamics develop in relation to erotic associations?

To learn more about Dr. Ali’s work, visit GettingWolfie.com

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Don't forget, for couples who are interested and would like to participate in a study with Couples and Sexual Health Lab, to check them out on Instagram for more information.

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Kinky Sex, Race & Social Justice

 (00:00):

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.

Jess (00:19):

Hey, hey, Jess O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist here with my always lovely other half Brandon Ware.

Brandon (00:27):

Got to be honest, I'm not sure what to say. Now I feel like that's my my only line.

Jess (00:33)

I am in a really good mood this week. Lots of good stuff going on, including a big celebration. We are celebrating twenty years together sometime this week. We don't know what day but sometime this week, we hit twenty years. Like it's just, it's such a crazy feeling every year at this time. I reflect on that week that we met that lucky for you, I hit on you because you never hit on me. And you had your mom's purple Ford Escort and we hung out the Escort and then basically moved in together the next day, but twenty years is just so mind blowing to me, 'cause I I feel like a kid. I don't know if it's because we don't have kids, but I feel like I'm still in my twenties, I don't know.

Brandon (01:22)

Time flies. I will say it's surprising to think that twenty years has whipped by. And what feels great for me is that I'm excited for what the next hopefully sixty years brings. But yeah, I looked at that photo that you post and I was contemplating my style selection twenty years ago. But I'm glad that you still decided to hit on me.

Jess (01:48)

You’re talking about the photo I posted on instagram. I was dressed as a cat, so I I had on cat ears. I think it was a halloween but it may not have been halloween. Yeah like thinking back to twenty years ago just feels so good, and it's interesting because one of the activities sometimes we do with couples, is we get them to retell the story of how they met, when they met, and what it felt like, and what they remember. And sometimes just reflecting upon the past kind of reinvigorates some of the passion chemicals that you experienced in the beginning. And I definitely feel that, like when we were in lying in bed the other night kind of just chatting about what it was like when we were younger and I I really don't feel older but I feel, I don't know, like life obviously isn't as, I don't know if I want to say chaotic as it was then. We used to stay up so late, we'd eat our dinner at the convenience store at like 3 ...