November 28, 2020

Know Your Type: Attachment Style & Relationships with Therapist Diana Chu

30 minutes

Connect with fellow survivors and access free resources:

https://linktr.ee/lifeisloveschool

A question that comes up often in our FB discussions is on dating and Attachment Styles. Per popular request, in this episode, I interview therapist Diana Chu on what attachment style is, how it impacts our relationships, and specific strategies we can employ to move us towards becoming more securely attached.

“A lot of times people who are anxiously attached are attracted to people who are avoidant of attachment. Those two attachment types are like magnets to each other. The trick is not to get hooked on the highs and lows and mistake an activated attachment system for passion or love.” — Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

Diana also talks in-depth about how therapists assist clients in this process, using “saying no” and boundary setting as examples.

[min 3:00] The origin of attachment theory — The “Strange Situation” tests the four types of attachment style Anxious (Preoccupied), Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant), Avoidant (Dismissive), and Secure.

[min 6:45] Attachment styles and how it impacts how we communicate in dating and relationships

[min 10] How attachment style came from childhood template

[min 11:15] How to move from Insecure to Secure Attachment style?

[min 13:00] How therapists model Secure Attachment style for their clients

[min 15:30] How drama therapy can help us learn how to handle difficult conversations (i.e., saying no)

[min 17:45] Setting boundaries in dating relationships when Insecurely Attached

[min 20:00] What happens when we grew up with parents that didn’t allow us to set boundaries?

[min 21:15] What happens if people disregard your boundaries?

[min 22:15] Why it’s essential to ask the hard questions in dating early?

[min 24:30] Why reciprocity is vital in boundary-setting

[]Why effective communication frees you from anxiety in relationships

[min 27:00] Can you “act-as-if” yourself into being Securely Attached?

About our guest: Diana Chu is a Registered Drama Therapist (#659) and Mental Health Consultant. Currently working at Rams, inc., she graduated with a Masters of Counseling Psychology with a specialization in Drama Therapy from California Institute of Integral Studies. She has experience working at a Counselling Enriched Educational Program (CEEP), Family Engagement Program, and Autistic Spectrum Disorder Clinic where she developed essential skills to offer the most effective and caring therapeutic experience in a safe and affirming environment.

You can find Diana Chu at dianachutherapy.com and check out “Waves of Change,” Diana’s podcasts with her co-host Psychologist Dr. Lee.

Review ou podcasts:

Like all Life Is Love School episodes, we aim to deliver you useful information in a short amount of time, so you can apply what you’ve learned to reap the benefits immediately. If you like our podcasts, please consider leaving us a review on Apple Podcast. Your review will help more survivors who need to hear our message of hope and healing find us, and it also means a lot to me personally. Please click here for instructions on how to leave a review.

...more