This week, Sami accidentally made 6 challah for Rosh Hashanah, Jordana shares her harrowing onion chopping accident, and Aleen reminisces about the ways she used to bribe Jordana to hang out in middle school. Most importantly, Jordana unveils her new custom 3 Betch Movers hoodie… We Here For You(r Move). Then, they dive into the headlines, starting with Lana Del Rey’s marriage to alligator tour guide Jeremy Dufrene, which simultaneously feels like something out of an alternate dimension and completely on brand. Millie Bobby Brown and Jake Bongiovi shared wedding photos of their own this week, and they’re so very young, but we wish them all the best. Next, some Diddy updates and celeb death conspiracy theories (including a spooky Britney Spears/Brittany Murphy crossover). Onto film and TV, the trio share their thoughts on Nobody Wants This, Will & Harper, The Apprentice, and the trailers for Nicole Kidman’s Babygirl, and Amy Adams’ Night Bitch. Our Betch Of The Week is Lana for not giving a fuck and finding true love, and we’re sending onions (and knives) to the Caymans for maiming Jordana’s finger. Shana Tova!

We’ll be back next week at our new Friday 6AM EST release time!

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