On this episode of Goalless… We’re onto the Champions League knockout stage, a “what if” starting 11, and a crazy injury in Germany. Plus, actor and comedian Jon Glaser joins us to talk about how FIFA made him a wolves fan, World Cup 94, the world’s best kits, Detroit City FC and finally, The Diet Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey Show.

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Today’s word of the day is ’working’ as in going to work as in Vladdy Jr. as in the Blue Jays as in Juan Soto. What are we talking about? Vladimir Guerrero Jr. said he asked for 14 years but fewer than $600 million. He said he didn’t want Juan Soto money, but he did want the years! Is he going to get close to that? (9:45) The Yankees are falling apart before the season begins. Luis Gil is out. DJ LaMeheiu is out. Giancarlo Stanton is out. (14:50) What is the latest on Shohei Ohtani? Did he have a setback? Is he going to pitch this year? (20:20) So You Wanna Talk to Samson!? Someone asked me if I ever put a player on an innings limit because I knew he’d be traded later in the season… wow. (31:48) Review: All We Imagine as Light. (34:15) Athletics are back in the news. A new team president. New renderings. A new extension to a young player. So much positivity… but where is the stadium? (46:50) NPPOD. (49:20) Mark Cuban shared his thoughts on the Luka Doncic trade. Oh boy. 

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The show discovers that Jessica's boyfriend Lee has wide feet, Stu's X account was hacked in the stupidest way possible, and Taylor wants to rework Billy's wardrobe despite him being difficult. Later, the crew wonders whatever happened to the "Cuban Pilot" bit and if first class to Hawaii is worth it after finding out Dan Orlovsky flew his whole family to the island paradise in coach.

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Billy, Mikey A and Fuentes play everyone's favorite game: Headlines! Are we setting up for all the former Seattle players to wind up in Vegas for one more run with Pete Carroll? A game of More Mikely has us questioning Travis Hunter's future in the NFL. What has happened to Hard Knocks that now they can't even get a college team to do it. And Billy asks the all important question: which NFL coach would you least like to be on a plane with?

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On this week’s Share & Tell, Mina Kimes and Dan Le Batard join us to discuss DOGE cutting — and being shamed into restoring — USAID support for starving children, Colorado QB Shedeur Sanders and his suddenly tumbling draft stock, and the increasingly explicit love affair between a woman and her ChatGPT. Plus: cuckqueans, Deion’s Family Playbook, and why you should NEVER. STOP. POSTING.

Further content:

Trump assault on USAID

She Is in Love With ChatGPT

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Could Hunter Green win the Cy Young? This week on “Underdogs,” Peter and Jordan are giving you early MLB long shot bets you should put your money on now. Plus, NCAA Men’s Basketball dark horses to watch as we head into championship week.

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Today’s word of the day is ’truth’ as in Justin Turner as in Seattle Mariners as in MLB as in owners as in spending. Turner was on the Mariners last season. And he has some things to say about the Mariners offseason spending… or lack of it. (11:35) I have an update or correction on the MASN deal between the Orioles and Nationals. (17:11) WBD prez David Zaslav says the company never needed the NBA. He said they have NASCAR and CFP games and soccer games and more! (32:40) Review: La La Land. (37:00) Saquon Barkley record-setting contract. Maxx Crosby record-setting contract. NFL players are getting paid big money. Markets are getting reset. What does it all mean? (46:05) NPPOD. (47:40) Sportswashing is over. It worked. The Saudis have done it. TKO announced a deal with the Saudis to create a boxing league. Dana White will be the face of it. Congrats.

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The world is in desperate need of a vibes transfusion. And so we asked Kevin Wildes — co-host of FS1's "First Things First” and professional counterbalance to Nick Wright — for something even bigger than Jordan vs. LeBron. Ol' K.W. has assembled nothing short of a master list of 71 (!) things that are, in fact, cool. And PTFO's official Cool Committee debates the door policy at a club where anyone, in theory, can be a member... whether you have whale bodyguards or not.

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The Mavericks season from hell added another chapter this week with Kyrie Irving suffering a torn ACL. Kyrie's season is done, putting him at the front of the list of injuries up and down the Mavs' roster-- plus Anthony Davis might be done for the year, and oh yeah, Luka Doncic plays for the Lakers. Amin and Izzy ask if there's any precedent for an implosion of this scale, and see if they can find a reason for optimism in the Mavericks future. Also, Amin and Izzy do a blind ranker with some of these new nicknames that are popping up everywhere, and Prop-a-Slot is back!

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Today’s word of the day is ’grasping’ as in ESPN as in MLB as in TV rights as in leaks. What is going on? MLB will have to find a new network for its broadcasts with ESPN opting out. Is ESPN going to find a way to still get games? Did MLB leak the reported offer that ESPN gave them that was a slap in the face? (13:03) It’s time to talk about the Athletics again. Now the team will begin to take deposits for season tickets in Vegas. How fun! Well, where is the stadium? (22:45) So You Wanna Talk to Samson!? Someone asked me why teams still get public financing. (34:20) Review: Paradise. (37:50) NPPOD (40:10) The Dallas Mavericks are down bad. No Luka. Everyone hates Nico. Anthony Davis hurt. Increased ticket prices. And now Kyrie Irving is out for the season. (48:00) UNC and Belichick are no longer doing Hard Knocks. Why? The NFL is mad. And his girlfriend is reportedly too involved. Hmm.

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