In this episode, I reflect on my time leading a cottage at a group home and how stepping into a leadership role challenged my identity, anxiety, and desire to just be the “fun guy.” I unpack the psychological shift from being liked to being responsible, and how consistent structure reduced chaos, stress, and mental overload — ultimately allowing me to lead with both authority and warmth.

• Why I initially hated being in charge despite caring deeply about the kids and staff
• The internal conflict between being the fun, relational leader vs. enforcing rules and boundaries
• How anxiety, rumination, and self-doubt intensify in leadership roles
• The realization that structure (being “the law”) creates the conditions for fun and connection
• How consistency and staff alignment helped the environment run itself over time
• Why silence, avoidance, and unclear expectations increase stress for everyone
• A key reframe: you may not hate leadership — you may hate unstructured chaos
• Practical takeaway: clarity, consistency, and support reduce mental load and make leadership sustainable

Thrive With Leo Coaching: 

If you want to reduce your psychological pain, regain your purpose and forge your own path, go to www.thrivewithleo.com to begin your journey.

If you or anyone you know is considering suicide or self-harm, or is anxious, depressed, upset, or needs to talk, there are people who want to help:

In the US: 

Crisis Text Line: Text CRISIS to 741741 for free, confidential crisis counseling. 

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or 988

The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Outside the US:

International Association for Suicide Prevention lists a number of suicide hotlines by country. Click here to find them.