I have an experiment for you. I know the holidays are stressful, over-scheduled, over-spending, over-eating and lots of time with friends and family. Here’s my idea-What if we left no good thing unsaid?

We spend a lot of time with family during the holidays, and that can be very stressful. I heard once, “The reason they know how to push your buttons is that they installed them.” So if our buttons can be pushed quickly and we can push buttons with other people just as fast, what if we made a different choice this year? What if we lead with love and grace instead?

One Christmas I realized I’d not entirely told my friends and family how much I loved them, individually, why I loved them. I thought maybe Norman Maclean was right, “It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.” Why is it so difficult to speak a good word over the people we love most? At their funeral, we would gush “He was my favorite uncle, I loved how he always asked me about my life.”

My challenge to us all is this holiday season, we write a note, a letter, a card an honorable toast we give an extra-long hug and tell the people that you love most why you love them. Sure it could go sideways, they could misunderstand, but I’ve found when your genuine motive is love, that’s easy to receive openly. Hold your tongue on the tough stuff this year. Don’t worry it will be there next year too :)

Say the good things that are true inside, but rarely are expressed to the people you love most. Don’t wait until they are gone to say how much you love them. Take the opportunity to tell them how valuable they are to you now.