Life in Relationship

The struggle and joy of church work and holidaysThe struggle and joy of church work and holidays

Applying the ScripturesLoneliness factor:Psalm 68:4-6 Envy factor:1 Corinthians 3:3 1 Corinthians 13:4Proverbs 14:30

1) Keeping it in perspective-

The weight of holidays in the US

64% effected by the Holiday blues - https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/November-2015/Tips-for-Managing-the-Holiday-Blues

Remember that children are resilient, but sensitive

2) Christ came for you-

Take each holiday and apply it to yourself

Help family apply it to them

3) Getting Creative-

Ideas for getting fun and festive or doing nada

ILMS 8 - The Truth about Mental Health: Emotions

+ YA: Tremble

Psalm 46:3

Internal and external turmoil

HCSB – "though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with its turmoil."

What in the world feels chaotic, or adds to the turmoil of life?

Goal: We want our emotions to inform us, rather than lead us.

How do you like to let your emotions out, rather than roiling inside?

6 common spectrums of emotion:

1 – Warmth and acceptance

Inverse = loneliness and rejection

How does acceptance feel?

How is warmth and acceptance associated with happiness for us?

Romans 14:1-3

2 – Irritable, Frustrated, and Angry

Ephesians 4:26

1 Corinthians 13:5

Getting into the Word to change our mood

Asknig self: What's in this? Why am I (fill in the blank)?

Finding someplace to put it

Psalm 37:8-9

3 – Discouragement, Sadness, and Depression

Inverse: Joy, Zeal, Engagement

Understanding and differences

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

How do you engage in life?

4 – Fear, Anxiety, and Worry

Fear and Creation

Anxiety – internal, biochemical, inner turmoil, broad

Worry – thought process related to something specific

What are you afraid of most?

What makes you anxious?

What worries do you have?

5 – Confusion or the Fog

The teenage brain, details, and early mornings

Sleeping and eating matter

Jeremiah 29:11

6 – Helplessness

When we feel like we have very little control

Mood swings – the struggle is real

Exodus 3:14

What is the most encouraging part of Who God is for you in the middle of the trembling?

Find the downloadable group talk sheet here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1mg_p1f_MsOULAaQsXtVvPb_X8wBh7tuG

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

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ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked HCSB®, are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. HCSB® is a federally registered trademark of Holman Bible Publishers.

ILMS 7 – The Truth about Mental Health: Depression

Guest: Pastor Gabe Kasper

I Love My Shepherd Mental Health Core Value: Everyone has it.

Connections of physical, relational, mental, and emotional health.

Gabe's story

Symptoms of depression – anxiety, insomnia, spiral thinking, panic attack, loss of focus, loss of motivation, frequent crying, desire to escape, suicidality and suicide ideation

Triggers and life transitions

The emotional spiral

• God's work in our spiral
• When life doesn't make sense
• He comes to us in our pit

Resources for depression:

Beck's Inventory – ask a primary care provider (https://www.apa.org/pi/about/publications/caregivers/practice-settings/assessment/tools/beck-depression.aspx)

Useful at home mood and depression check - https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/depression-quiz/

Depression "comes out" in different ways for different people

The relationship of anger and sadness

Finding some help

• Seeing a doctor and addressing what our body needs
• Relearning the Gospel for this season
• Honestly speaking our hard thoughts and struggles

Leading from Vulnerability

• Suffering and Rejoicing together – 1 Corinthians 12:26
• Daring Greatly by Brene Brown - https://amzn.to/2SupTbR

Family Life and Depression

• The usefulness of humor
• The gift of support and advocating for your loved one
• The impact of parental support and authentic sharing
• Therapy for wellness - tending to mental health

Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordero - https://amzn.to/2D8Gn53

I Don't Want to Talk about It by Terrence Real - https://amzn.to/2CPajSH

My Name is Hope by John Mark Comer – https://amzn.to/2JoKsSH

Searching the Psalms

Psalm 20

Psalm 22

2 Corinthians 7:6

Find Gabe –

@gabekasper1

Pint Glass Preachers –

On iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pint-glass-preachers/id1088572156?mt=2

On Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pintglasspreachers/

More on the CS Lewis quote - http://www.cslewisinstitute.org/C_S_Lewis_on_the_Problem_of_Pain_page3

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

Instagram - @ilovemyshepherdministries

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ILMS 6 - YA: Moved

Psalm 46:1-3

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

Fun question: What mountains have you been to? Where? What did you think? What pictures have you seen of mountains? What stood out?

Who controls the mountains?

What is scary about the idea of the mountains falling?

What is fear?

Fear respect v. fear anxiety

Page through Genesis 1,2, and 3 –

God creates, we have no fear,

sin brings fear

What evidence do you see of no fear and then fear?

What are the what ifs of life?

God works good in our messes, even in fear.

Job 9:4-6

He is wise in heart and mighty in strength —who has hardened himself against him, and succeeded?— 5 he who removes mountains, and they know it not, when he overturns them in his anger, 6 who shakes the earth out of its place, and its pillars tremble;

Does God get angry? What about that makes us uncomfortable?

What makes God angry? What would be disconcerting about a God who doesn't care enough to get angry?

John 3:16

When we know God through Jesus Christ…

Where we build fear, God builds faith.

God is building a mountain of faith in us.

God's faith looks a lot like love and grace.

1 Corinthians 13:2-3

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

When Jesus says you could move mountains, he's still talking about love, not just doing cool stuff.

Talk sheet link: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1clErszC3-RQh6K4rM7tL-KtLoM12158E

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

Instagram - @ilovemyshepherdministries

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ILMS 5 – WII: Divorce, Forgiveness, and New Beginnings

Guest: Donna Pyle

Young, fresh, and finding Jesus

What does genuine warmth look like for visitors in the church?

Brokenness and Restoration

• making some kind of peace with our past
• those who hurt to see us hurt
• God is not a puppeteer

Forgiveness

• anger has its place
• when life feels like a hurricane
• the place of counseling
• walking through forgiveness, rather than obtaining forgiveness

Forgiveness the book - https://amzn.to/2Ij9ulN

Without this Ring book - https://amzn.to/2DyXyO9

• every divorce is unique
• sharing stories, a Christian counselor perspective, working through difficult emotions

Quenched book – https://amzn.to/2MXRuhz

• What is the well?
• What are we seeking? What do you need?
• being new to the church or being worn out in the church

The Myth of Forgetting and Forgiving

• God forgets
• The reality of trauma in brokenness
• He promises to make everything beautiful in its time
• Honoring sadness

Artiseanministries.org

ILMS 4 - Ministry Talks: Calls, Callings, and the Ministry Family

A calling on our lives – purposes, plans, and Jesus

God holds the power, we simply are stewards of that

Over emphasis of any one vocation is a problem.

Family Vocation, Veith and Moerbe - https://www.amazon.com/Family-Vocation-Marriage-Parenting-Childhood/dp/1433524066/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535474057&sr=8-1&keywords=family+vocation

What responsibility and accountability is attached to a professional call or calling?

What tension is there in this and how does it impact family life?

Calling and the family -

Genesis 12:1-5

Hebrews 11:8-12

Joy in Ministry

John 10:10

Galatians 5:1

"Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. May not copy or download more than 500 consecutive verses of the ESV Bible or more than one half of any book of the ESV Bible."

ILMS 3 – Ministry Moments: Community Prayer Walk

Guest – Pastor B.J. Fouts

Connection and disconnection in communities

The Great Commission

• Matthew 28:16-20
• Starting with our neighbors in our backyard
• Sometimes it's harder to start a conversation with our actual neighbors

One prayer walk in a small town community:

Goal = visible ministry arm praying for our community

The who, what where, when, and why!

Praying for one another

Praying for our country and community (2 Chronicles 7)

Praying for individuals, workers, businesses and houses

Praying to yourself

Praying in twos

Praying together

Praying the Lord's Prayer

Stories from the kids, teachers, and community

PDF sample of one prayer walk

St. John Ministries website - https://www.stjohnbc.net/

Show notes:

What are your worries or concerns? Your highs and lows?

What do you think your friends are going through or your family?When you look around you at school, work, your neighborhood, the world – what concerns do you see?

Three segments to today's study:

He is with us when things look bleak.

He is with us when things look better.

He is with us when things look best.

Bleak:

Is God disinterested? Is God angry or mean?

What evidence do you hear of God pursuing us in the Psalm?

What evidence of Jesus pursuing do you remember from the Gospels? When we can't see God's presence, what does He give us to remind us He is present?

Psalm 46:1 – God is our present help.

What kind of Help does God bring to us?

John 14:25-17 What helps you when it's hard to believe God is present, that He cares?

Better:

What does the mediocre feel so blah? How does Satan use the blah to poke at us?

What is God doing in the mediocre? Where do you see Him present in the everyday? Why is it so easy to forget about God in the everyday?

Psalm 46:1 – God is our strength.

What strength does God give you in the course of a regular day?

Best:

What are the mountain top experiences of life? What wow experiences have you had?

Matthew 17:1-8 – Just like us, the disciples wanted to stay on the mountain.

What kinds of experiences help us to see Him clearly?

Psalm 46:1 – God is very present.

What promise do we find in the refrain of Psalm 46, found in verses 7 and 11?

ilovemyshepherd.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

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ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.All rights reserved.

Show notes:

When was the last time you held a red party cup?

Do we have a celebratory God?

What opportunities did Jesus take at parties? What opportunities do we have at parties or celebratory moments?

What kind of grounding do we have or seek to prepare to be in difficult places and situations?

Safety and the red party cup

ilovemyshepherd.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

Instagram - @ilovemyshepherdministries

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.All rights reserved.

Ministry Talks 6 – Top Ten Reasons to Take a Vacation

Two massive things in the way of vacation – time and money

Creativity is often a must, but here are 10 reasons why vacations can’t go by the wayside in ministry life...

Ecclesiastes 3:9-14

1 – Rest

 Conversations about what rest is Biblically

 Run Hard, Rest Well

 https://runhardrestwell.com/

Sleep – Ted Talk, Why do we Sleep? https://www.ted.com/talks/russell_fos...

2 – Recharge

 Inspiration fatigue

 What gives you energy? What recharges you?

3 – Reflect

 processing the past year, month, days

 Give your brain “whiteboard space”

 Dangerous Calling, Paul David Tripp – pg. 55

 https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Call...

4 – Teach Others

 Your family, Your congregation, Your community

 What is rest?

Permission to rest

Prioritizing family

Stewardship of time

5 – Consider the next pastor/teacher/leader

 unrealistic expectations passed on

 Where am I allowing Gospel space in this church/ministry?

6 – Identify symptoms of burnout

 Physical – headaches, digestive issues, blood pressure, teeth grinding, fatigue

Emotional – joy fatigue, frayed nerves

Relational - little to no friendships, marriage stress

Caregiver/compassion fatigue

Thom Rainer on burnout –

http://thomrainer.com/2013/09/seven-r...

http://thomrainer.com/2013/05/twelve-...

7 – Define Emergency

 media impact on our brains

 time to access and identify accurately level of drama and our connection to it

Who am I and Who is God? Is He calling me to this right now, in this moment?

8 – Date night and dating your family

 take the babysitter opportunity when visiting family

 marriage and family hear their value

 vocation of helpers to one another

9 -   Creative burst

 Opportunity for boredom and ideas

Ted Talk - https://www.ted.com/talks/manoush_zom...

 What ideas have you gotten on vacation?

10 – Ministry somewhere else

 go to a new church

 minister to the staff at the hotel, restaurant, wherever

 visit a ministry friend

 start small – one day at a hotel or somewhere overnight