Life in Relationship

Special guest: Darcy Paape, director of the Women's Leadership Institute at Concordia University Wisconsin and author of Someone to Walk With

What is mentoring?

Intentional

Organic

Being willing to share both strengths and weaknesses

Creating relationships and creating spaces

What is the person looking for?

Examples: Affirmation? Coaching? Evaluation? Someone to listen?

Building blocks of mentoring: Humility & Willingness

Cross-generational mentoring examples:

Elizabeth and Mary

Ruth and Naomi

Building blocks of mentoring: Communicating & Commitment

Finding a mentor

God with us in the challenges

Identify the ally or sweeper to help you connect to someone

Resources:

Someone to Walk With by Darcy Paape - https://amzn.to/3mhC09P

Someone to Walk With Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/someonetowalkwith

Thanks for the Feedback - https://amzn.to/2LBgTCI

The Reluctant Witness: Discovering the Delight of Spiritual Conversations - https://amzn.to/3oN4WrV

University of New Mexico – Mentoring Institute + Conference - https://mentor.unm.edu/

Wake Forest University – Mentoring Resource Center - https://mentoring.opcd.wfu.edu/

Women's Leadership Institute Mentoring Workshops - http://wlicuw.org/

[email protected]

What playgrounds do you remember being in your life as a kid?

Purpose of playgrounds

Purpose of Being

Being + doing is the goal, holding both together

God's relationship to being

Examples in Scripture

Colossians 3:23-24

Colossians 3:17

God's relationship to doing

Examples of Scripture

Mary and Martha in all of our lives

In what ways are you being with God? In what ways are you doing for/with God?

Sense of worth = an internal awareness that as created creatures of God we have value

How does God's delight in us inform our sense of worth?

• Concept of mutual delight, God to us and us to God

Struggle with worth - Delight is not determined by what I do.

• Seeing our worth based on our relationships with people
• Worth based on what we do or my performance

Engaging in God out of response

• playing from delight v playing for it
• what is our vantage point of God? Father of Love v. Father of Judgement

Our worth within the narrative of God's plan:

Creation to New Creation

Holding the tensions of life together to see God's delight is still with us in difficult things:

repentance and delight

the now and not yet

Justin's book – Delight! Discipleship as the Adventure of Loving and Being Loved: https://amzn.to/2HDOzxm*

*this is an affiliate link

Episode 7 – The Truth about Mental Health: Hope

Special guest: Tanner Olson, aka Written to Speak

Get to know Tanner

Why is hope so important for our mental health and for our relationships?

Hope changes the narrative

Hope as the bridge between mental health and our relationships

The power of sharing narrative

Sharing hope on the internet

Hope with words

Hope without words

Honoring the heavy to get to the hope

Sitting alongside someone in the back and forth of sharing brokenness and hope

Finding Joy in our smallness before God

Poetry Break: Somedays

Searching for a definition of Hope

Big H hope and small h hope

Big and small spaces for sharing hope

Poetry Break: Stay

What are the tiny things of life that give us hope?

What's your confetti cake?

Find out what their Star Wars, or their Space Jam, or their confetti cake is

Poetry Break: As You Go + pg. 57

Find Written to Speak:

https://www.writtentospeak.com/

https://www.facebook.com/writtentospeak

https://www.instagram.com/writtentospeak/

https://twitter.com/writtentospeak

With Special Guest, Sue Steege Director of Christian Education, transformation and discipleship ministry focus

Goal – making it safe and doable for parents to be faith growers

Moving from Wow to Win How can I set up a win for a parent to transmit the faith? How can I set up a safe way for parents to feel successful in sharing their faith? What opportunity can I set up for families to participate in faith together?

Contribution: Allowing and creating opportunities for contribution Follow up with those in the communities What opportunities can we offer for kids to be able to contribute? What do kids have to contribute?

Vulnerability: How do kids open us to the heart of God? Engaging other adults in teaching kids to form many supportive relationships Extending invitations continuously Walking through hard times in life together

Attachment, brain science, and faith

Ideas from Sue: Use the Bible App to teach parents to lead a family devotion Goodnight with Sue and Zanmi, teaching parents to give a blessing - https://youtu.be/K9OY5H9Q4eQ Give kids space to worship Prayer partners during worship Prayer parties with blankets

Resources: Just a Phase – OrangeBooks The Other Half of Church - https://amzn.to/2FzpItG Kindling the Heart Family Devotions - https://amzn.to/3mt4izB (*amazon links are affiliate links)

Did you have a stuffed animal or a "lovie" growing up?

What was your relationship to the lovie?

What do stuffed animals do for kids?

What can stuffed animals teach us about Jesus?

Comfort –

a physical reminder of the abstract comfort we need as kids

a sense of power and agency with something that is smaller than them

Representation of the abstract, sometimes hard to access, comfort Jesus brings

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Sensory input, but also knowledge we can seek out what we need

Comfort for fears

Companionship -

Knowing we aren't alone, something to hold but also a special friend

Physical thing, but also powerful

Representative of the compassion of Jesus

Feeding of the 5000 (Matthew 14)

Representative of the gentleness of Jesus

Palm Sunday, riding in on a donkey (Matthew 21)

Let the little children come to me (Matthew 19)

Marriage as a Process…Not a Product What kinds of things in life do you want instant fruit or instant rewards?

What kinds of things would you like your spouse to just know about you?

Read Ephesians 4:11-16. Where do you see truth and love alive throughout the timeline of your marriage?

What does the process of healing or forgiveness look like in your marriage?

Wellness Exercise: Open the conversation in your marriage around this discussion: How have we grown since last month?

YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/6lDHfC5xBjU

Find all the Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC

Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann

Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed. Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Special Guest: Matt Schuler, pastor and friend

What is trust?

Heidi's definitions of trust:

https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/always-growing-what-is-trust

Designed for trust in God

Proverbs 3:5-8

Trust impacted by brokenness

Psalm 28:7

Is God trustworthy?

Cultural norms

Boundaries and trust

• Dare to Lead elements of trust - https://amzn.to/3kH7bf5 (affliate link)

Walking forward with trust wounds

Find more resources on trust, mental health, and genuine relationships at heidigoehmann.com

12 Days of Physical Touch

What are the purposes of physical touch in marriage? What are the benefits of physical touch in marriage?

How do physical touch and sexuality change in different stages of marriage?

Name a time your partner comforted you with physical touch.

What difference in capacities for physical touch do you and your spouse have, if any?

Wellness Exercise:

Read Matthew 19:13-15. Consider how love, affection, and belonging is communicated in your household? In what ways is physical touch a part of this communication, and what one idea regarding touch might you add to your marriage or family relationships?

YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/L43RiUi8bzw

Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC

Find more marriage and relationship resources at:

https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Follow us on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites

https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/

https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann

Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed.

Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Special Guest: Justin Hanneman, PhD, LIMHP, pastor

GracePoint Relational Health

https://www.relationalhealth.org/

What is attachment?

"secret sauce"

Trust, sense of safety, and attachment from infancy to adulthood

Sense of safety at the subconscious level

Implicit memory + early relationships

Definition of implicit memory = https://dictionary.apa.org/implicit-memory

Love your neighbor and a

God as perfect attachment figure while we imperfectly try to love one another.

"Attentive caregivers are the answer."

"We're not always here to deliver from as caregivers, but to deliver in."

How attachment happens:

Available

Capable

Willing

Finding the relationships we need

Two types of relationships

What are our attachment needs right now in this stage of development?

Paying attention to our attachment reflexes

Brain health, mental health, and attachment

Grace, self-compassion, other-compassion, and attachment

Find more resources and discussion on mental health and genuine relationships at heidigoehmann.com