Life Kit

Most kids value success and achievement more than caring for others, according to Harvard's Making Caring Common project. Who is to blame? We are. We talk to experts for ideas on how to do better, and why.

Here's what to remember:
- Children are born to be kind — but also unkind.
- Kindness requires courage.
- To build kindness, practice mindfulness.
- Teach real apologies, and frame forgiveness as a gift you give yourself.
- Practice gratitude to "raise the capital" of everyday kindness.
- Kindness is a habit; rituals, chores and service can all help.

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The way many of us think about weight loss is totally counter-productive. Focus on healthy habits you can sustain instead of the numbers on the scale.

Here's what to remember:
- Forget goal weights. Instead, focus on behavioral goals.
- Start with small changes and let them snowball.
- A loss of only 3% of your body weight can meaningfully improve your health.
- Remember that your best weight is the one you reach when you live the healthiest life you can actually enjoy.

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Our biology makes it hard to lose weight. In this episode, we won't tell you how to lose weight — or whether you even need to. We will give you five realities about biology, and they might even help you be kinder to your body.

Here's what to remember:
- Metabolism slows when you lose weight.
- Hormonal changes that come with weight loss make you hungrier.
- What you eat is more important than how much you exercise.
- Exercise seems to play a big role in maintaining weight and preventing further gain.

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We all can feel the effects of weight stigma, no matter what our size. Here's how to feel good about the body you're living in and improve your health, without obsessing about your weight.

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We help you understand whether you need an adviser, and if you do want one, how to find someone who will act in your best interest.

Here's what to remember:
- Many people don't need to pay for financial advice.
- Use a "fee-only" adviser, not a "fee-based" adviser.
- Consider low-cost options like robo-advisers or Vanguard.
- You might need to break up with your adviser — but you can still be friends.
- Two online resources can help you find an adviser: NAPFA and Kent on Money.

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Investing doesn't have to be hard. We explain how to grow a nice nest egg and avoid that four-letter word that starts with F ... fees.

Here's what to remember:
- Don't pick your own stocks.
- Don't sell stocks if the market crashes.
- Diversify your portfolio.
- Don't pay too much in fees.
- Invest in index funds, not actively managed funds.
- Rebalance your portfolio every year — then leave it alone.

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If you're not good at saving money, it's not your fault: Humans are hard-wired to focus on the present. But there's a way to beat evolution and build for your future.

Here's what to remember:
- Make savings automatic.
- Save, even if you have student loans.
- Participate in your employer's matching plan.
- Reward yourself for saving.
- Envision your future self.
- Start saving young.


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Whether a school shooting or a deadly tornado, scary events in the news can leave parents struggling to know when — and how — they should talk with their kids about it. Rosemarie Truglio of Sesame Workshop and Tara Conley, a media studies professor at Montclair State University, give us tips.

- Limit their exposure to breaking news.
- For the really big stories, pick a quiet moment and start the conversation by asking what kids have heard and how they're feeling.
- Give facts and context: Let kids know that most scary news events are rare. Show them where it is happening on a map.
- When they ask why something happened, avoid labels like "bad guys."
- Encourage kids to process the story through play, art, even video.
- Take positive action together.

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Even the most amicable split is world-changing for young children. Here are a few key tips for grown-ups trying to help their kids navigate this big transition.
- Give children as much heads-up as you can — as soon as you've made a definite decision to split up.
- It's a grown-up problem. Don't share details that will confuse your child or hurt your partner.
- Don't fear the big feelings or the "pajama truth-bomb."
- It's good for kids to talk about a separation — even when it may be painful for adults to hear.
- Make sure your kids know that not everything will change.
- Keep routines, and toys, consistent, even if they're traveling from one home to another.
- Look back together on the good memories.

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Whether it's mini-makeup kits, gross-smelling slime or semi-automatic foam-dart guns, every parent or caregiver has fielded requests for toys that they're just not that into. We talk about princesses and superheroes and their influence on kids with Rosemarie Truglio of Sesame Workshop and Lisa Dinella, a gender studies professor at Monmouth University.

Here's what to remember:
- Banning toys outright can be counterproductive.
- Pay more attention to how kids play than what they're playing with.
- Fight sexism in the playroom by broadening toy selections.
- Talk directly to your kids about your values.
- Join in your child's play to help expand the possibilities.
- Grossed out? Use toilet toys as a chance to teach science — and manners.

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