Listener question:  I do feel like it's groundhog day over here.  Currently I'm gripped with fear.  I'm trying to stay with the sensations and tell myself that any story I'm attaching isn't true.  It seems like it is true that I keep having the same experience.  The work I do is so intimate, and having panic attacks here is so difficult, but I guess that's what you mean about going in the other direction deeper into the story.  I listen, and read and think 'oh yes, this makes sense and it's very true' and then there I am one on one at work and all of that flies out of the window and I'm stuck in another panic attack.  The body/mind is so quick to go there, for many reasons (yes lots of evidence to back up the stories).  I do also watch and notice.  There's two tracks going on, one that goes down into the story and the other that looks at it.  The former seems to win out as I dread the future scenarios stronger than I can see clearly what's really going on. I know it's all the things you talk about ie protection, control, pushing away experience, but that's where I'm at and seemingly not shifting.

There's something more for me to see around this no self present day accountability.  I'll listen some more and see if any questions come to mind.