Listener question: Clare lovely, you often mention the going right into the perceived problem. What does that actually mean? 

In my case I can see a lot of things just generated by a mind that has a strong conditioned identity of being rejected by other people. And funny enough more and more I can see how this bodymind rejects others at the same time. So the old programme of rejection is running strong, it was literally drummed into my body as a child, but now it feels almost like ghosts from the past still hanging around.

And at the same time evidence is seen NOW that the current perceived rejections are purely made up in the mind. This is where it gets really confusing. It still feels utterly shit. So are you suggesting to go right into the awful feeling and then see what happens? ‚Having it all’ is often mentioned, what does that actually mean?  

The Self is asking this, maybe still with the hope of getting rid of uncomfortable feelings, feeling trapped and at the mercy of others confused feelings was very real for me all those decades ago and obviously it is not anymore.

 And at the same time it’s a comfortable prison, if I am this awful person I don’t have to follow my dreams, I don’t have to challenge injustices, I don’t have to take responsibility for anything, I can eat selfdestuctive amounts of sugar, can let my inner critic run riot and I don’t have to do what I love doing because it’s covered in layers and layers of judgement anyway. 

But then there is this lifeaffirming burning desire for living life to the fullest, this burning desire of shedding all these layers of crap and finally to do really exciting and juicy, sexy, arty stuff, stuff that makes me feel alive, free from heady stale concepts adopted from a confused society. 

Does this even make any sense and what’s the enquiry in this? Where is the custody without control in this?