Listener question: What exactly is 'honesty' ?. 

I realised that if i met an old friend i could be 'honest' and say "i am a failure, i dont have children, i'm not married, I'm still dependant with no reliable income, I have 'gone nowhere, the world has moved on and i am the same as i was when we last met". Compared to all the 'movement' in her life i would feel like a loser. This would feel like my 'honest truth'. I would be sharing how i 'honestly' feel and see myself right now. 

HOWEVER, i can also see that all i'd be doing is sharing the 'thoughts i'm believing to be true in that moment through the filters on how i am seeing my life'. I would feel i was being totally honest because those thoughts feel REAL.

The other option is i could 'act' and tell her all the things i have done that were successful and paint a better picture. These facts would also be 'true' but because i don't feel 'successful'and it isnt what i'm seeing right now i'd feel as if i was being 'dishonest' and 'fake'. This feels even further from authentic.

I can see that both examples are 'true' and both examples are 'fake' 

I can see that all life events are neutral and so what we're really sharing are our self judgements and the meaning we have given those events, and what we are risking are the hidden judgements of others.

So WHAT does real 'honesty' look like if the thoughts that inform what we feel to be 'our truth in the moment' are actually only ever telling us 'lies' ?. Is sharing how we feel ever 'honesty' if our feelings are always only coming from our unreliable thoughts ?