Thank you so much for the reply to my question in the Podcast "Protection" 2 February.  

It's taken me a while to let your words settle and really start to look deeper into the separate "me" that is still lurking!  Initially my body/mind wanted to reject and ignore what you were saying - there was quite a visceral response in my body - punch to the stomach, anger and annoyance.  So slowly and with a few days in between, I have listened to the episode a few times now over the last week and each time I am to see a little more. 

One part that I have found helpful, is where you said something along the lines of "the whole protection campaign continually maintains the inner psychological belief system" and "how the actual act of avoidance - eg. not going to the social occasion/party, etc in order to protect that self, is providing more evidence that I shouldn't go.  Which in turn reconfirms the belief system, embedding it further."  No wonder we feel like we are in a never ending loop!

So even with fear and anxiety about what might never happen - I now move forward to do the challenging things!