Episode 064 of Living in Response is a reflection of the past two weeks I’ve spent in sort of retreat of the world semi-on accident :)

There’s a lot of ways you could direct your time, energy, and attention and I am so grateful you’ve chosen to direct them towards this experiment in self-expression <3

Never miss an episode! (Also on Spotify.)

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ Why I Haven’t Recorded in a WhileI open up about taking almost two weeks off the podcast—not because I had nothing to say, but because I’ve been in a deep integration season. Learning is easy for me. Slowing down to live what I’ve learned is the real work.

2️⃣ Tibetan Buddhism & the Humbling of PracticeI’ve started studying Tibetan Buddhism and Dream Yoga more formally—and it’s been humbling. These teachings don’t care how fast I learn. They ask me to practice. And you can’t rush meditation. You can’t rush nighttime. You can’t rush presence.

3️⃣ Bonfire on the Beach & My Soul Shower with the PacificI share about attending my first real beach gathering since moving to LA—Bonfire. And more than the fire or the sound bath, it was the ocean that changed me. I felt it pulling energy from my body with every wave. It felt literal. Like a soul shower.

4️⃣ The Ache That Won’t Leave Me AloneEven after all my training, certifications, plant medicine journeys, and inner work, I still feel this aching in my chest sometimes—this ineffable sense that something’s missing. I’ve been trying to fill that ache with action, service, spending, new ideas. But the ache doesn’t leave.

5️⃣ Buying Solutions & Breaking the PatternI name the pattern: feeling the ache → signing up for another course or certification → getting temporary relief → doubting the choice later. This last time, I finally saw the pattern in real time. Hopefully, that’s the start of real change.

6️⃣ From Intellectual Understanding to Embodied KnowingI believe I am whole. I believe I am part of the divine. I’ve read it. Been told it. Learned it. But belief is not embodiment. And the distance between intellectual truth and lived experience is exactly where I’m sitting right now.

7️⃣ The Trouble With Spiritual Advice That Doesn’t LandI reflect on the kind of feedback I get when I express this ache—well-meaning reminders that I’m whole, loved, divine. And I get that. But I’m still being called to sit with the deeper question. I need more than words. I need to feel it.

8️⃣ Discernment, Judgment, and Owning My PerspectiveI wrestle with whether I’m judging or simply discerning when I notice spiritual influencers saying things they don’t seem to embody. I’m learning that it’s okay to name what I see, from my personal perspective, without claiming it as truth for everyone.

9️⃣ Why I Unfollowed 1,500 PeopleI went on a mass unfollow spree—not out of spite, but out of self-preservation. I realized I was drowning in wellness advice and spiritual content. Too many voices. Too many truths. And I had lost my own voice in the process.

🔟 The Difference Between Withdrawing & Filtering InputI share a big realization from a recent meditation: I don’t actually want to withdraw from the world—I want to filter what I’m letting into my field. I want less input, not less community. And that’s a very different thing.

1️⃣1️⃣ Community vs. ComparisonI reflect on how much I want real community, but how hard it is when you’re comparing yourself to everyone in your feed. I talk about the toxicity of wellness marketing that plays directly into our wounds—and why mindfulness has helped me catch that activation.

1️⃣2️⃣ Dream Yoga & Daytime LucidityI share my early steps into Dream Yoga and how my daytime mindfulness practice is supporting my nighttime lucidity. Including: my first lucid flying dream involving Christopher Walken (young version), Zoe Kravitz, and floating over LA traffic to get home.

1️⃣3️⃣ The Waking Dream Journal (aka This Life Is Also a Dream)I’ve started journaling my day as if it’s a dream—because, according to Tibetan Dream Yoga, this waking life is a dream too. This practice is expanding my awareness and helping me see life through a more lucid, less reactive lens.

1️⃣4️⃣ What I Would Master If I Could (Spoiler: It’s Meditation)At a recent community event, someone asked me what skill I’d master if I could. I almost said meditation—but second-guessed myself and said lucid dreaming. Looking back, I wish I had just said what I meant. Because I do want to master meditation. And maybe we never “master” it. Maybe that’s the point.

1️⃣5️⃣ Being a Low-Maintenance Friend (and Person)I close by talking about how I show up in friendship and life—low-pressure, low-maintenance, open-hearted. If we’ve connected once, I probably still feel connected to you. I don’t need constant contact to stay attuned.

🌀 Bottom Line:Integration is uncomfortable.Slowing down can feel like failure.And no amount of external input will make up for the work we must do within.

But still—We return to the breath.We return to the body.We return to the question:What is real for me right now?

That’s where the path begins again.

Mentions & Inspirations:📘 The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep – Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche🌊 The Pacific Ocean – Soul shower medicine🧘 Dream Yoga, Open Awareness, & Tergar Meditation (via Mingyur Rinpoche)📱 Unfollowing to reclaim energetic space🎬 Stranger Things Season 5 – Yes, I’m rewatching everything

❤️ Core Message:You are not crazy for feeling like you already know the truth… but not feeling it yet.This is not a failure.This is the path.And it’s okay to question it all while still showing up to practice.

May all beings know peace <3

Mystically,

Belle

AI Disclosure: I used chatGPT to help write this post based off of what I shared in the video (it’s basically a transcript but reader-friendly). I acknowledge the ethical and ecological concerns and impacts of AI and strive to be open about the use of this revolutionary and collaborative tool the way I would be if I had an editor or ghost writer.

There was a time in my life when sadness felt normal.

Waking up heavy-hearted, going to work, coming home so drained I couldn’t do anything but binge Netflix and eat whatever was around. I didn’t think about the future because there didn’t seem to be one. I didn’t have dreams or aspirations. Just the same day, on loop.

I thought that was life.

I thought it was normal to never feel alive.To never look forward.To live without joy.To just… make it through.

And now? I am someone who is deeply, wildly in love with being alive.

I’m obsessed with life. With learning. With the miracle of being human and also spirit. With the mystery of what we are doing here on Earth for this brief, precious time.

I’m surrounded by people I genuinely care about. I have a stable, mission-driven job (it’s not my forever dream, but it feels purposeful). I make six figures—a reality no one in my family lineage would have imagined. So I’ve been asking myself… how did I get from there to here?

Because maybe if I look back with honesty and care, I’ll find something useful in the path. Maybe there’s some medicine there to offer. Not as advice. Just as truth.

I remember the turning point. It wasn’t neat or pretty. It wasn’t “a plan.” It was messy and real.

At my lowest, I was on seven prescriptions. I had a literal box of pills. And I was barely 25.

And then—life pivoted.

Not in some magical “one moment changed everything” way. But I did start raving. Not intentionally. Not as healing. Just… I fell into it after a string of pretty bad decisions. Decisions that hurt people. Ones I still carry with me.

But along the way, someone I hadn’t seen in a long time came back into my life and introduced me to “snacks” (I have to use code here because: internet). And that one experience cracked something open.

I had never felt anything like it before. And I’m not saying that’s the answer, but I can’t pretend it wasn’t part of the answer. It helped me feel—for the first time—something like love. In my body. Real and alive.

That was the beginning.

Between 2015 and 2019, I lived the rave life. Festivals. Road trips. Community. I dove into a world that felt like another dimension. A place where love was everywhere—sometimes amplified by the snacks, yes—but it was real. It was embodied. It touched something in me that had never been touched before.

It reminded me that the world I was taught to survive in… wasn’t the only world.

And when you’ve grown up without much love—from your parents, from your home—and you find yourself in a crowd of strangers all radiating love and acceptance, something happens. It rewires you.

I didn’t feel that kind of love growing up. My dad was in and out of prison and eventually deported. I stopped living with my mom at 13. There was a lot of pain. And I carried it. For a long time.

So when I say I felt love for the first time, I mean it.

It wasn’t all good, of course. Things spiraled. Too many snacks. Dependency. A couple years that started to blur into something not so healthy.

But I can’t ignore what that season of life gave me.

It gave me the visceral experience that this isn’t all there is. That the grind, the depression, the survival mode—it’s not the only thing that exists. It cracked my heart open, even if the journey afterward was long and hard.

And now, years later, I understand that some of those “snacks” were actually sacred. That they came from the Earth. That the Earth holds medicine, and that medicine can help us remember.

Not everyone will relate to this story. Not everyone should take the same path. I’m not advocating anything. I’m not romanticizing the hard parts. I’ve seen people lose themselves, seen what happens when there’s no integration, no support, no grounding.

But I’m also not going to pretend it didn’t happen. That it didn’t open a door.

I’ve resisted sharing this story for a long time. Partly because it’s vulnerable. Partly because of judgment, censorship, or fear. But I think this story—my story—might help someone out there remember that feeling lost isn’t the end of the story.

We are not alone.

The Earth remembers us, even when we forget ourselves.And there is something more here.I know it. I’ve felt it.And if you’re reading this… maybe you’ve felt it too.

Thanks for being here.Mystically,Belle

Episode 61 of Living in Response is a lil dive into the current state of my spiritual journey and some of the beef I’ve got with “social media spirituality.”

Thanks for supporting this unedited self-expression journey <3

Topics Covered in This Episode:(Summarized (mostly) with AI, lived deeply by me)

1️⃣ Social Media Spirituality Isn't It (And It Took Me a While to Admit That)I open up about how my spiritual path started in online spaces—with no lineage, just lived experience—and how exciting that was at first. But over time, I felt incomplete. Something was missing, and I began to feel more stressed than supported by the constant seeking.

2️⃣ From Manifestation to EmbodimentI talk about the rise and fall of my interest in manifestation culture—how the idea of just thinking your way into abundance left me feeling hollow. I share how discovering The Energy Codes and embodiment cracked me open to a much deeper truth: real transformation starts in the body.

3️⃣ Discovering Interoception Changed EverythingWithout realizing it, I had been training my interoceptive awareness—my ability to feel inside my body. This shifted how I understood energy work, because now I could feel it. Breathwork and a cannabis ceremony deepened this even more, leading to the realization: we’re energetic beings, yes—but there’s something even deeper underneath.

4️⃣ Energy Is Not the Root—Information IsI share the mind-blowing idea I learned from cosmologist Jude Currivan: beneath energy is information. We explore the “Big Breath,” the fine-tuned constants of physics, and the idea that something is informing everything—an insight that completely reframed how I understand evolution, purpose, and spiritual practice.

5️⃣ My Obsession With Lineage (And Why It Matters)I reflect on the importance of learning from rooted, ancient traditions—like Taoism, Yoga, and Tibetan Buddhism. I talk about how I’ve come to trust teachers who carry transmission, and how this deepens not just what I know, but how I live.

6️⃣ Heart Coherence, Energy Activism, and the FieldI’m officially training with HeartMath this fall. Coherence has become the heartbeat of my mission: aligning the mind, heart, and body so we can become radiant, stable contributors to the collective field. This is what I call energy activism.

7️⃣ Why I Said Yes to Buddhist TransmissionI share my decision to commit to the year-long Blueprint of Awakening program with Mingyur Rinpoche. The Four Noble Truths—especially the idea that there is a path to the end of suffering—spoke directly to what I’ve been struggling with: the mental and emotional weight of purpose pressure.

8️⃣ Spiritual Maturity Means Getting Bored (and Going Deeper)I name the collective feeling that spirituality on social media is starting to feel… flat. Like everyone’s saying the same thing. And I get into how I believe this boredom is actually an invitation—an initiation—into deeper, older, more embodied paths.

9️⃣ Practice Is Not the Point—Life IsWe talk about the trap of living in constant ceremony or healing. I share why spirituality, for me, is no longer about how much I practice—it’s about how I live. Compassion, love, generosity, service: that’s the real integration. That’s the lifestyle.

🔟 We Are Not Separate (But We Also Need Boundaries)A story about a woman and a stolen chicken in Ralph’s becomes a powerful metaphor for the spiritual paradox of oneness and duality. I reflect on learning how not to take on all the world’s suffering, even while staying connected to it.

1️⃣1️⃣ The Messy Reality of Being in CommunityI name how hard it is (as an introvert) to move from “wanting community” to actually showing up for it. I’m practicing inserting myself into real-life spaces—awkward, shy, uncertain—and trusting that’s what builds the world I want to live in.

1️⃣2️⃣ Being a Student of Life (Not a Brand of It)I share my ongoing discomfort with spiritual influencers who unknowingly repackage ancient wisdom without credit. I explore what it means to honor our teachers and lineages, and why being in integrity matters more than sounding profound.

🌀 Bottom Line:Spirituality is not a trend.It’s not a brand.It’s not an aesthetic.

It’s how we breathe, how we show up in community, how we love, how we serve.It’s the way we talk to ourselves in quiet moments.It’s the choices we make when no one is watching.

This is coherence.This is embodiment.This is spiritual maturity.This is the work.

Mentions & Inspirations:📚 The Cosmic Hologram – Jude Currivan🧘‍♀️ The Energy Codes – Dr. Sue Morter🌀 HeartMath Institute – Coherence & Heart Intelligence📖 Mingyur Rinpoche – Buddhist Transmission & Tergar Meditation🧘 Yoga Teacher Training – Ancient Philosophy > Postures

❤️ Core Message:If you’re feeling bored, burnt out, or spiritually lost—You’re not broken.You’re being called deeper.

And the deeper path?It doesn’t promise perfection.But it does promise truth.

May all being know peace, may all beings feel love.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 061 of Living in Response is the first in a few weeks and tbh I let my inner critic get the best of me :)

Thanks for supporting this raw, unedited, exploration in saying what I gotta say <3

Topics Covered in This Episode:

Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ Why I Stopped Recording (and Why I Hit Record Today)I open up about nearly three weeks of silence—how self-doubt stopped me mid-episode, and how I remembered that this podcast is for me first. External processing is how I heal, and if others resonate, that’s a beautiful bonus.

2️⃣ Energy Activism = CoherenceI clarify again what I mean by energy activism: it’s not about fixing the world directly—it’s about becoming more coherent within ourselves. And that coherence ripples into the collective field.

3️⃣ The Field Reflects UsI share how chaos in the world is a reflection of chaos in the collective energetic field—and how increasing our own inner harmony is one of the most direct ways to support planetary healing.

4️⃣ You Don’t Have to Be on the Front LinesI reflect on the pressure to be an “activist” in the traditional sense—and how painful it can be to be judged for not doing more. I speak to honoring our role and knowing that coherence is real, powerful, and enough.

5️⃣ Everyday Incoherence (and How I Catch It)I get raw about moments of misalignment—snapping at my partner over avocado toast, spiraling at work, mentally criticizing instead of communicating. And I share how heart-focused breathing helps me shift in real time.

6️⃣ Why Self-Talk Matters More Than You ThinkI explore how the inner monologue—the stories we tell ourselves when things go wrong—can either drain our energetic battery or plug the leak. Coherence begins with the voice in our head.

7️⃣ Personal Change Is Proof of PossibilityI briefly map my journey—from poverty, trauma, and rage to purpose, peace, and presence—to show that transformation is not only possible, but energetically real. The field remembers.

8️⃣ Micro-Moments of Choice = Macro Shifts in EnergyI share how seemingly small interactions—cleaning up the kitchen, fixing a mistake at work—are the actual sites of spiritual practice. These moments are where we shift the world, breath by breath.

9️⃣ Why This Still Feels Like My MissionI admit I’ve been judging myself for still being on this topic of coherence and energy activism. But the truth is, it keeps calling. And I’m learning to trust that.

🔟 Being Coherence, Not Just Talking About ItI reflect on integrity—the gap between what we say and how we live. Energy activism, for me, is about aligning with the values I share publicly in my private, messy moments too.

1️⃣1️⃣ Meditation, Self-Awareness, and Spiritual MaturityI talk about my recent dive into open awareness meditation (via Mingyur Rinpoche) and how it’s expanded my capacity to notice thought patterns I didn’t even realize were still running.

1️⃣2️⃣ Healing Isn’t Isolation—It’s IntegrationI reflect on how “healed” we feel at home alone doesn’t always translate to the world. Real coherence is relational. It’s not just about being calm in solitude—it’s about staying connected while in community.

1️⃣3️⃣ Energetic Foundations Create Cultural ChangeI re-ground the mission of energy activism: supporting the energetic layer of life so that what emerges—culture, systems, society—can be rooted in coherence. The unseen affects the seen.

🌀 The Bottom Line:Being the change isn’t glamorous.It’s not always visible.It’s in how we breathe through irritation.How we talk to ourselves.How we show up—especially when no one’s watching.This is energy activism.This is what spiritual practice actually looks like.

Mentions & Inspirations:

📘 Always inspired by the work of Ervin Laszlo🧘‍♀️ Heart-focused breathing & real-life examples📖 Mingyur Rinpoche – Open Awareness Meditation🧘‍♀️ Yoga teacher training & yogic philosophy

❤️ Core Message:

Your everyday moments matter.Your emotions are portals.Your breath is a tool.Healing isn’t somewhere you arrive—it’s how you live.This is spiritual maturity.This is coherence in action.And this—this is what I’m here for.

May all beings know peace.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 060 of Living in Response is a lot wrapped up into one - spiritual activism, embracing my tone, and letting it all be enough.

Thank you thank you for supporting this unedited, real-time exploration of life, spirituality, and everything in between!

Topics Covered in This Episode:

Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ Accepting My “Too Much” VoiceI open up about my lifelong struggle with being told my voice is “too sharp,” “too intense,” or “too direct.” I share how I tried softening it, lightening it, even “spiritualizing” it—but ultimately, this is the voice Life gave me. And it’s time I stop apologizing for the clarity and conviction that come through when I speak from the heart.

2️⃣ Unity Doesn’t Mean SamenessI reflect on a powerful teaching from my leadership journey: unity isn’t uniformity. We’re not meant to care about or speak about the same things. Life evolved into complexity for a reason. So why do we expect people to be replicas of each other? We need different voices. We need different callings.

3️⃣ The Shame of Not Doing EnoughI share the quiet shame I’ve carried about not doing “more”—not volunteering, not protesting, not being on the front lines. I’ve judged myself for offering energy activism instead. But the truth is: this is my offering. And it counts.

4️⃣ When You Don’t Have the Capacity, That Is the WorkI talk about the backlash I received for saying that it’s okay to focus on yourself when you don’t have capacity. But I still stand by it. A resourced person becomes a more responsive, compassionate, and powerful one. That’s not avoidance—that’s intelligent evolution.

5️⃣ Maslow, Self-Transcendence & the Wisdom That Got LostMaslow’s hierarchy was inspired by Indigenous teachings—but most versions leave out the final layer: self-transcendence. I explore how serving something beyond ourselves naturally arises when we are well-resourced, not when we’re burnt out.

6️⃣ Why So Many People Aren’t “Activated” YetIt’s not that people don’t care—it’s that they’re tired. Anxious. Under-resourced. I explore how emotional, physical, and spiritual depletion is the real barrier to activism—and why shaming people doesn’t help.

7️⃣ Energetic Activism Is Not Spiritual BypassingI clarify that energetic activism isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about feeling fully—grief, rage, fear—and then transmuting that energy into coherence, care, and contribution.

8️⃣ “Now Is the Time” — The Moment the Vision LandedIt happened in a simple moment—watching a movie on my couch. I paused Allegiant and just knew: now is the time to stop minimizing this calling. Energy activism is not just valid—it’s necessary.

9️⃣ What Is Energy Activism?I finally define it: energy activism is the intentional act of generating coherence in your own system and contributing that energy to the planetary field. It’s not a concept—it’s a practice. A way of living. A way of serving.

🔟 HeartMath Science + Spiritual IntuitionI break down how the HeartMath Institute’s Global Coherence research supports what many spiritual traditions have always known: we live in an energetic field, and our emotions—especially love, care, and compassion—are broadcast into it in measurable ways.

1️⃣1️⃣ Information Is the RootI share a major shift in my understanding of reality: energy isn’t the base layer—information is. Like the binary code of a video game, information informs energy, which informs matter. This is the level Tao Hands works on (a new spiritual modality I’m learning), and it changes everything.

1️⃣2️⃣ From Personal Grief to Planetary ShiftI tell the story of how processing my grandmother’s death through tapping shifted my emotional frequency—and how I now understand that as an act of service. Healing myself literally helped shift the field.

1️⃣3️⃣ The Futility of Doing It AllI get honest about the overwhelm I’ve felt trying to “do more.” There are so many causes I care about. So much wrong in the world. But I’ve realized that I can’t be everywhere. Instead, I ask: what’s the root cause? What’s the most powerful lever I can touch with what I have?

1️⃣4️⃣ Why Science + Spirit Need Each OtherI talk about how spiritual truths become more accessible and grounded when paired with science—and how science regains its soul when it includes the invisible, felt world. Energy activism lives in this bridge.

1️⃣5️⃣ The Vision: One Million Energy ActivistsI describe the vision that dropped in: a legion of people generating coherent energy together on purpose. Feeding the field. Raising the vibration of the planet. And using HeartMath’s Global Coherence app to see it happening in real time.

🌀 The Bottom Line:You don’t have to show up like anyone else to make a difference.Your presence—when it’s coherent, loving, aligned—matters.You are not “too late” or “not enough.”If your love is alive, you’re right on time.This is your permission slip to contribute your way.

Mentions & Inspirations:

📘 The Science of Interconnectivity – HeartMath Institute📘 The Cosmic Hologram – Jude Currivan📘 Maslow's Hierarchy & Blackfoot Wisdom📖 Tao Science – Master Sha & Rulin Xiu🌀 HeartMath Global Coherence App🎥 Allegiant – Divergent film series🧘‍♀️ EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)🌱 Composting, Bees, and Building Capacity

❤️ Core Message:

Your care is enough.Your energy makes a difference.Your voice—even if “too much”—is sacred.And this moment? This is the one we were born for.Hopeful Monsters unite. We’re doing this.

There’s not enough ways for me to express gratitude and love for my ancestors and for Source/God/Life/The Universe/Great Mystery/Creator/All That Is/Etc.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 059 of Living in Response is a little unexpected after a date mix up on a camping trip but is another page down in reflecting on the crazy sh*t I get myself into sometimes.

Thank you thank you for supporting this unedited, real-time exploration of life, spirituality, and everything in between!

Subscribe to keep up with my explorations!

Topics Covered in This Episode:

Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ From Podcast Idea to Flow State CreationI share how this podcast started in a spontaneous moment of flow—and how giving myself permission to speak freely without boxing myself into a niche has been one of the most liberating choices on my journey.

2️⃣ The Explorer Identity & Why I’ll Never “Arrive”I reflect on how I used to shame myself for dabbling in too many spiritual paths, healing modalities, and teachings. Now, I’m realizing that exploration is the point. My path isn’t about mastery—it’s about following curiosity.

3️⃣ “What Is Actually Going On Here?”I return to this core question again and again. What is life really? What are we really doing here? This question has shaped my entire spiritual journey—from healing depression to diving deep into consciousness studies.

4️⃣ Learning as PurposeI reflect on how learning isn’t just something I do—it’s who I am. From quantum physics to indigenous teachings, lineage-based meditation to Dao transmissions, I’m finally accepting that I’m not here to find the thing. I’m here to learn.

5️⃣ Redefining What This Podcast IsWhat began as an unstructured outlet is evolving into a captain’s log for my soul’s journey—a real-time documentation of growth, questions, and spiritual experiments. It’s a travel journal for consciousness.

6️⃣ Lineage, Root Systems & Spiritual IntegrityI explore the importance of learning from people with lineage—why I need to trace teachings to their roots, and how this desire grounds me in integrity as I explore and share.

7️⃣ Energy Is Not the Root—Information IsA revelation that shifted my worldview: energy isn’t the most fundamental layer of reality—information is. I share how I conceptualize this (through a video game metaphor) and why it matters.

8️⃣ The Tao Hands Transmission ExperienceI recount how I “accidentally” got trained in Tao Hands—a practice that transmits high-frequency source-field :blessings” (read: transmissions) for healing and alignment. I reflect on the science behind it, the surreal experience, and why I’m called to explore more.

9️⃣ From Fixing to FlowingI explore the difference between healing as “fixing” and healing as returning to coherence. I reflect on how Tao Hands isn’t about doing—it’s about transmitting love and letting Source do the rest.

🔟 Messy Spirituality & The Permission to SpeakI talk about deleting a new TikTok account because I realized I don’t want to build “a niche.” I want to share what’s alive. And that means letting the podcast, and my work, be messy, evolving, and real.

1️⃣1️⃣ Spiritual Comparison & Finding My PeopleI reflect on being in spaces with successful coaches and realizing—some of them aren’t my people. And that’s okay. This episode unpacks the discomfort, the comparison, and the truth that diversity is necessary for collective evolution.

1️⃣2️⃣ Purpose Isn’t a Destination—It’s a PatternI explore how I’ve been chasing “my thing” for years, only to realize: my thing is the journey. It’s the questions. It’s learning. It’s sharing in real-time. And that’s enough.

1️⃣3️⃣ Captain’s Log: What I’m Exploring NowFrom Ram Dass to quantum physics, from sacred plant work to pleasure activism, from coherence science to conscious cannabis—this episode is a timestamp in a lifelong exploration of spirit, self, and society.

🌀 The Bottom Line:You don’t need to have “a thing” to share something valuable.You don’t need to be done growing to be of service.You don’t need to make it pretty to make it real.Let the journey be the message.And let your love be the activism.

Mentions & Inspirations:

📖 Reconnecting to the Source – Ervin Laszlo📖 Tao Science – Master Sha & Rulin Xiu🌐 Tao Hands Practitioner Training – Master Sha Tao Academy🎥 A Radical Guide to Reality – Worldview shifting documentary📘 Indigenous Spirituality – Doug Good Feather🧠 Logotherapy – Viktor Frankl

❤️ Core Message:

You don’t have to arrive to belong.You don’t have to master to matter.You don’t need a niche to be needed.You’re not behind—you’re exploring.And this exploration is your gift.

Sending love and gratitude to all the ancestors who survived so we could thrive <3

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 058 of Living in Response offers another perspective of activism that’s a little more yin and is a love letter to heart coherence and all it’s bennies (read: benefits).

Thank YOU for being a part of this raw, unedited, and unfiltered movement!

Subscribing shows the luv <3

Topics Covered in This Episode:

Summarized (mostly) with AI

2️⃣ Redefining Activism for Sensitive SoulsI explore how the word “activist” never resonated with me—until I realized activism doesn’t have to look like protests or policy. It can look like rest. Like coherence. Like love in action.

3️⃣ Energy Activism Is RealI share my evolving role as an “energy activist”—and how practices like heart coherence contribute to change on an unseen but deeply impactful level. Feeding the field matters.

4️⃣ How to Contribute When You Feel Too SmallI reflect on a conversation about airplane travel and climate guilt—and offer a new lens: What if your presence, your energy, your kindness is the activism? What if we made the airport more loving?

5️⃣ The Quiet Revolution of EmotionsRegulating our emotions is revolutionary. From neuroscience to energetics, I share how cultivating inner coherence (especially through HeartMath) is activism—and it's changing my life.

6️⃣ Project 1GroupLove: A Movement of the HeartI invite you to our May 27th gathering, where we’ll practice heart coherence, share intention, and watch A Radical Guide to Reality. It's free. It’s powerful. It’s a new kind of community.

7️⃣ Coherence = Flow = EvolutionI explain why coherence matters—not just for the planet, but for us. I break down the physiology of heart-brain alignment, energy flow, and how it can transform your ability to share, speak, and live in alignment.

8️⃣ Messy Sharing Is Still SharingI talk about starting “Say It Messy” on TikTok and how heart coherence helps me move through the voice of the inner critic. You don’t need to be polished to be powerful.

9️⃣ Living What You Teach (Even Before You’re ‘There’)I unpack my discomfort with teaching before full embodiment—and how it’s okay to share while still becoming. The transmission isn’t perfection—it’s honesty.

🔟 The Pleasure of ActivismFrom pleasure activism to joy as resistance, I reflect on how rest, community, and alignment are powerful acts of service. You don’t need to burn out to matter.

1️⃣1️⃣ We’re All Born for This TimeI share my belief that we are all here for a reason—to help humanity evolve. And each person’s unique passion—no matter how niche—is part of the collective upshift.

1️⃣2️⃣ From Judgment to CuriosityI reflect on catching myself judging others and how awareness helps dissolve that sense of superiority. Curiosity is the antidote. Humility is the invitation.

1️⃣3️⃣ Contributing with What You HaveWhether it’s gratitude, story, or simply a smile—your contribution matters. And a contribution journal might just be the next revolution in how we see ourselves.

1️⃣4️⃣ From Self-Help to Collective HealingThe journey doesn’t stop with personal development. It’s about growing enough to look outward—toward community, collaboration, and doing our small part with big love.

🌀 The Bottom Line:Activism can be love.Energy matters.Your heart is intelligent.And your contribution—however quiet—is real.Let’s evolve from the inside out.

Mentions & Inspirations:

🎥 A Radical Guide to Reality – Free short documentary from Worldview🌐 HeartMath Institute – Science of heart coherence🌀 Global Coherence Initiative – Collective emotional impact📖 Pleasure Activism – (Referenced, to be read)🧘 The HeartMath Experience – Free online intro course📘 Indigenous Spirituality – Doug Good Feather (book mention)🌿 Project 1GroupLove – Gathering May 27 on Zoom (FREE!)

❤️ Core Message:

You don’t have to march to make an impact.You don’t have to shout to be heard.You don’t need to be fearless to start.Rest is activism.Emotion is energy.And your quiet presence is part of the solution.

I am so jazzed as I’m writing this and filled with so much love, hope, and gratitude. Sending this energy out as a prayer to all of my Gaian family.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 057 of Living in Response is a reflection of experiencing deep humanity in a randomly assigned roommate and a lil bit about “decolonization” and my experience growing up mixed race.

Eternal gratitude as always for your time, presence, and attention as I navigate the waters of this unedited, real-time exploration in speaking <3

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ The Most Powerful Part of the Retreat Wasn’t About CoachingI share how the biggest breakthrough at my coaching retreat in Cabo had nothing to do with business or personal development. It came through an unexpected, deeply healing conversation with my roommate—one that cracked open something ancestral.

2️⃣ Meeting a Fellow Introvert—And Finding Myself in HerWe were two quiet observers in a room full of bold, extroverted entrepreneurs. Our energy clicked. Through quiet nights and real talks, I got to witness someone who mirrored my inner world—and it made me feel more understood.

3️⃣ Mixed-Race, Culturally Disconnected, and Feeling Like an OutsiderI open up about the complexities of growing up mixed-race—how I was “too brown for the white kids, too white for the black kids, and not brown enough for the brown kids.” I didn’t speak Spanish, didn’t grow up immersed in Mexican culture, and felt like I belonged nowhere.

4️⃣ Reclaiming Spanish, Reclaiming SelfBeing in Mexico awakened something deep: a call to learn Spanish from a place of embodiment, not obligation. I’m realizing that this language is in my bones, in my blood—and that reclaiming it is a form of healing.

5️⃣ “Do I Have a Right to This?”—Fear of Appropriation vs. Blood MemoryI explore the fear that I’m not “allowed” to learn about my culture because I didn’t grow up in it. But I’m beginning to understand that colonization wants us to feel this separation—and decolonization invites us to remember what’s already ours.

6️⃣ Whitewashing & Unspoken Rules in My UpbringingI reflect on the subtle ways my upbringing was shaped by unconscious whitewashing. From racist language in the family to being taught I was “not like them,” I unpack how these messages made me question who I was allowed to be.

7️⃣ The Trauma of “Not Enoughness” in Every DirectionFrom daycare to schoolyards, I share how being mixed without a clear cultural home left me vulnerable to rejection from all sides—and how that trauma planted the seed of never feeling “enough” anywhere.

8️⃣ The Pain of Cultural Disconnection & the Longing to KnowI express the grief of growing up without deep cultural knowledge or rituals, and how that left a void. Now, as an adult, I feel the ache to remember—to learn not from curiosity alone, but from longing and love.

9️⃣ Why Lineage Matters Now More Than EverI talk about why I’m choosing to learn only from people with lineage—whether it’s Mingyur Rinpoche’s thousand-year meditation lineage or Indigenous teachers rooted in ancient ritual. What’s passed down matters.

🔟 Decolonization: From Trigger Word to TruthThe word “decolonization” used to feel unnecessary—even uncomfortable. But after reading Decolonizing the Body by Kelsey Blackwell, I see how colonization shaped my fears, my silence, and my separation from culture and self.

1️⃣1️⃣ The Invitation to RememberAs I speak with my roommate, we name how many of us are waiting for permission to reclaim what’s already ours. Our ancestors are calling—not to perform culture, but to remember it.

1️⃣2️⃣ You’re Not Appropriating—You’re ReturningWe discuss the difference between appropriation and reclamation, and how those of us with mixed or lost roots often walk that razor’s edge. But when it’s in your blood, it’s not a costume. It’s a homecoming.

1️⃣3️⃣ Learning Through Lineage-Based RitualsI share about two upcoming experiences: a ritual-based morning practice rooted in Peruvian tradition, and a decolonial storytelling course called Sovereign Storyteller. Both are supporting me in healing through rhythm, ritual, and remembrance.

1️⃣4️⃣ Storytelling as Ancestral ThreadThe desire to become a storyteller has come alive. It’s in my lineage, even if it wasn’t named that way. Story is how we carry memory—and how we feed the field with truth, connection, and belonging.

1️⃣5️⃣ Land Acknowledgment & Where We BeginI close with reflections on land acknowledgment, especially here in LA County—Tongva, Tataviam, Serrano, Kizh, and Chumash land. This too is part of decolonization: starting right where you are, with presence and respect.

🌀 The Bottom Line:You don’t need to prove your ancestry to feel it.You don’t need to grow up in a culture to honor it.You don’t need to wait for permission to remember.You’re allowed to return.You’re allowed to reclaim.And you're allowed to do it with love.

Mentions & Inspirations:📘 Decolonizing the Body – Kelsey Blackwell🌿 Xochitl Ashe – Born for This lineage & morning ritual🎤 Sovereign Storyteller – A decolonial storytelling course by Joey Yung-Jun Liu🧘‍♂️ Joy of Living – Secular meditation course by Mingyur Rinpoche🌀 Project 1GroupLove – Energy activism & ancestral reconnection🌎 LA County Land Acknowledgment

Sending prayers of love, gratitude, and peace to all my future ancestors and praying that I become as strong of an ancestor one day.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 056 of Living in Response is a lil collective, a lil personal, and a lot of ideas about evolving and changing the world by loving it.

Thank you dearly for supporting this unedited, real-time exploration of what life is like from my personal perspective <3

Subscribe for free to never miss an episode! Who knows where I’ll go next :)

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ Unedited, Unscripted, UnthemedI reflect on how this podcast remains unedited, in real time, and non-topical. It doesn’t follow a single theme—it follows me. It’s alive with whatever I’m living through, processing, or discovering.

2️⃣ Podcast as Practice for Being SeenThis podcast started as a way to practice visibility—to speak, share, and evolve in public. I’m still in the early stages, figuring things out as I go, and letting it be imperfect and real.

3️⃣ Becoming an Evolutionary/Planetary/Energy ActivistI explore what it means to call myself an evolutionary, planetary, and energy activist—three interwoven roles rooted in a vision for humanity’s next step. I break down what each means and why they matter right now.

4️⃣ We’re Not at the End—We’re at a Turning PointI discuss the concept of the evolutionary “bifurcation point” and how humanity may be at a crossroads. This isn’t the end—it’s an opening. Things may dissolve before they evolve, just like the caterpillar becomes the butterfly.

5️⃣ From Awareness to ActionOnce I understood the evolutionary process we’re in, I started making different choices—from the food I eat to how I spend money. Change starts with awareness, and that awareness can shift our actions.

6️⃣ Traditional Activism vs. Energy ActivismI share why I’m not called to traditional activism (YET) and why heart coherence has become my form of action. Energy activism is real. It’s quiet, powerful, and deeply needed.

7️⃣ Project 1GroupLove: Feeding the FieldI share the heart behind Project 1GroupLove—creating coherence-based gatherings to intentionally feed the global energetic field. Love, intention, and unity are the medicine.

8️⃣ What It Means to Feed the FieldWe live in an energetic soup. Through practices like heart coherence, we can add love, calm, and connection to the collective field—and that changes the world from the inside out.

9️⃣ Why Heart Coherence WorksI explain the physiology of heart coherence, its benefits for the body and mind, and how it affects others—consciously and subconsciously. I also shout out the HeartMath Institute and the Global Coherence Project for their groundbreaking research.

🔟 Gathering Together to Shift the FieldThe upcoming May 27th event will include heart coherence practice and a screening of A Radical Guide to Reality. We’re not here to teach—we’re here to feel, together.

1️⃣1️⃣ The Power of Small MomentsI share stories about moments of awe—from seeing whales in Cabo to watching a cat nap on my lap. These experiences of unity and beauty remind me why I do this work.

1️⃣2️⃣ You Don’t Have to Be Original—Just RealI reflect on the fear that my ideas aren’t “original” and how that fear almost kept me from sharing. But we’re all drawing from a shared field of wisdom. Your voice matters, even if it’s been said before.

1️⃣3️⃣ From Self-Actualization to Self-TranscendenceInspired by Logotherapy, I reflect on how living a meaningful life means moving from self-focus to others-focus. It’s not about purity—it’s about presence and contribution.

1️⃣4️⃣ Supporting Both Ends of the SpectrumI talk about the two groups that I feel called to support through this work: the under-resourced communities I came from and the ultra-resourced few hoarding power. Both need love—and a field strong enough to hold transformation.

1️⃣5️⃣ Make It Fun, Make It ResonantLove, unity, planetary coherence—these are big topics. But we can meet them with fun, beauty, joy, and creative energy. That’s why Project 1GroupLove gatherings will always be spaces of light, not lecture.

🌀 The Bottom Line:We’re not waiting.We’re already evolving.Love is the path.Coherence is the practice.And feeling is the portal.Let’s feed the field together.

Mentions & Inspirations:📗 The Great Upshift – Ervin Laszlo & David Lorimer🌎 HeartMath Institute – Heart coherence science & practice🧬 Global Coherence Project – Measuring collective emotion📜 Jude Currivan – Gaian cosmology & unity science🎬 A Radical Guide to Reality – Free film screening at the gathering📚 Lynn McTaggart – Shared intention & field experiments🌀 Project 1GroupLove – Collective coherence now live on Instagram

So blessed and so grateful for this life, all my experiences, and for the incredible people I’ve met along the way.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 055 of Living in Response is an acknowledgement and an announcement all in one! It’s a lil bit of a confession in the beginning that merges into hard launching Project 1GroupLove.

Thanks for joining this unedited, real-time, evolving, and unfiltered (trying!) project in exploration <3

Subscribing to this always and forever free podcast shows the love AND gets it directly to your inbox.

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ The Real Purpose Behind This PodcastAt its core, this podcast has always been about practicing being seen. I reflect on how this space started as a way for me to speak unfiltered and let my thoughts out into the world, even when fear and excuses tried to convince me otherwise.

2️⃣ The Fear of Being Seen—By People I KnowI open up about the shift that’s been happening as people I actually know are discovering my podcast and my posts. It’s been both validating and terrifying—and has brought up old fears of being judged for what I share.

3️⃣ The Caffeine Catastrophe & CompassionI share how a surprise espresso drink triggered a three-day migraine and how I fell into old patterns of punishing myself by “toughing it out” instead of caring for myself right away. A gentle reminder that compassion always wins over self-punishment.

4️⃣ The Trap of Narrowing MyselfI explore how I unconsciously started limiting my podcast to only talking about planetary activism—ignoring all the other threads alive in me. I remind myself (and you) that this space is for the whole me, not just one part.

5️⃣ Spiritual Bypassing AlertI call myself out for slipping into spiritual bypassing by over-focusing on practices like meditation instead of speaking and sharing my truth. Sometimes the most spiritual act is to show up—not hide behind rituals.

6️⃣ Project 1GroupLove: Fear & ResistanceI talk about launching Project 1GroupLove, the coherence-based collective I’m starting, and how—even after pouring my heart into the Eventbrite page—I let fear stop me from hitting “publish.”

7️⃣ Feed the Field: The First Gathering Is (Almost) HereI share the details of the upcoming Project 1GroupLove event, Feed the Field, an online gathering where we’ll practice heart coherence and screen the documentary A Radical Guide to Reality. This event is open to all—especially those feeling the ache for something more.

8️⃣ Heart Coherence Is the WayI go deep on heart coherence and why I believe it’s the most impactful thing we can do for ourselves, others, and the planet. I break down the science behind it, how it affects others subconsciously, and how it feeds the global energetic field.

9️⃣ The Global Consciousness Project 2.0I geek out on the Global Consciousness Project, their random number generator research, and how emotional resonance shows up as measurable patterns in the field. I explain how Project 1GroupLove is rooted in this science and why coherence is both an inner and outer practice.

🔟 Gathering as Experience, Not InformationI emphasize that these gatherings aren’t about teaching more information—they’re about feeling. It’s the felt sense that seeds real change, not more data.

1️⃣1️⃣ Balancing Awareness & HopeI reflect on how I’m practicing balancing awareness of crises with conscious attention to good news and hopeful action. Hope isn’t naivety—it’s discipline. And it’s essential for nervous system resilience.

1️⃣2️⃣ Stepping Into Visibility with FamilyI admit how scary it feels to invite my family—who I’ve never shared my spiritual world with—into this project. But it feels like part of the next step, the next layer of being seen.

1️⃣3️⃣ Being Cringey Is Part of the ProcessI talk about how I’m letting myself be that “cringey person” who shares their wild dreams and talks about things like planetary coherence—even if it feels awkward or vulnerable at first.

1️⃣4️⃣ Book Club, Tao Light Calligraphy & New CuriositiesI share some other threads I’m exploring—like the idea of a book club, experimenting with light calligraphy, and connecting heart coherence with other energy practices. All of it is process. All of it belongs.

1️⃣5️⃣ The Real Mission Is LoveI return to the essence: love is the way. Coherence is love in action. And these gatherings are my offering to help others feel that—not just hear about it.

🌀 The Bottom Line:Fear is part of the process.You don’t need to have it all figured out.You just need to start.Feel the fear—and post the damn event anyway.Let it be messy. Let it be real.Love is the way. Always.

Mentions & Inspirations:(not affiliated, just a fan)🌎 HeartMath Institute – Heart coherence and collective field research🧬 Global Coherence Project – Measuring the field’s response to collective emotion👣 Jude Currivan – Cosmology, planetary consciousness, and Gaian futurism🎬 A Radical Guide to Reality – Short documentary screening at the event🌀 Project 1GroupLove – A coherence-based collective now live on Instagram

Sharing a massive prayer of compassion for myself and for all of us currently on a journey of self-expression.

Mystically,

Belle