Living in Response

Episode 034 of Living in Response is steeped in real-time processing of some of my perspectives that are currently in the process of evolving, especially as it pertains to what “spirituality” means to me.

Thank you for receiving these unfiltered, unedited, unscripted, and unmapped ideas from my stream of consciousness. It’s been quite the experience to show up for this level of expression from a place of total, “I don’t really know and I’m just going to keep going” <3

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ Pulling Oracle Cards Before BreathworkFor the first time in a while, I felt called to pull a card from the Unshakable Inner Peace Oracle deck before a conscious cannabis breathwork meditation. What followed was deeply intuitive, surprising, and sparked this very episode.

2️⃣ This Podcast is Alive (Literally and Energetically)I reflect on the raw, unfiltered nature of Living in Response—with cats, a partner, neighbors, and life sounds always present. This podcast isn’t polished, and that’s the point. It's a living process.

3️⃣ The Two Oracle Cards & What They UnlockedCard 30: “The how is in the now.”Card 24: “Anxiety isn’t trying to limit you but free you from a situation that no longer feels good.”These prompts cracked open a swirl of thoughts around purpose, discomfort, and trust in timing.

4️⃣ The Creative Desire & the Stillness That Holds ItI explore the dance between the drive to “figure it out” (my offering, my service, my expression) and the quiet presence that says, “You’re okay right here.” It’s both. Always both.

5️⃣ Holding Purpose LightlyWhat if I don’t have to know my purpose in order to live it? What if tension is a signal, not a problem? I share how naming the discomfort softened its grip—and helped me return to trust.

6️⃣ The Process is the ArtI speak on how this podcast itself has become a mirror for how I want to live: present, iterative, trusting. The value isn’t in the outcome—it’s in the showing up.

7️⃣ Everything is Perspective (Even Self-Criticism)A real-life moment of self-consciousness walking up the stairs turned into a portal. What if this thought I’m having about my body is just… a perspective? And what if I could choose a gentler one?

8️⃣ The Self-Help Part of Me That Can’t Let it Be EasyThat little internal character with a whiteboard full of diagrams? Yeah, I meet them in this episode. I talk about how sometimes ease feels suspicious—and how I’m learning to trust simplicity again.

9️⃣ My Spirituality is ShiftingI reflect on how my spirituality used to be a tool to “get things.” Now, it feels more like a space of remembering, of being, of letting energy move through me—not for achievement, but for connection.

🔟 On Letting Go of Fixing (and the Healing Trap)I unpack how the healing journey can turn into another chase, another to-do. But what if I’m not broken? What if I don’t need to be constantly healing? What if I’m already whole?

1️⃣1️⃣ Source, Energy, and the Divine FeminineI explore my evolving language around spirituality—how I’m resonating with the idea of source as a creative, feminine root energy. Not a checklist. But a presence I feel through being.

1️⃣2️⃣ Everything is Energy (Including My Cat?)My cat and I both got flagged for elevated liver enzymes. Coincidence? I think not. I ponder whether pets can be mirrors of our energetic state—and invite you to share your thoughts if you have insight on my cat and I having liver weirdness at the same time.

1️⃣3️⃣ Children, Movie Theaters, and Perspective ShiftsA movie theater full of kids—normally my nightmare—turned out to be sweet and heartwarming. I reflect on how openness to perspective can soften assumptions and unlock unexpected joy.

1️⃣4️⃣ This Lifetime is Precious (Because It’s Finite)A conversation with my partner about the afterlife helped me land in deeper appreciation for the now. I might not see my grandma again in the way I used to… but I can feel her. And that love is eternal.

Mentions & Resources:🃏 Unshakable Inner Peace Oracle Cards by Shannon Kaiser🌀 Bioenergetic Medicine & Energy Hygiene🌸 Traditional Yoga Tantra & The Divine Feminine🐾 Reflections on pets as energetic mirrors

It’s late posting this but only because it’s been a full day and for that I am grateful.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 033 of Living in Response is all about cReATiViTy, realizing that to be human IS to be creative, plus some wisdom from the wizard of creativity himself - Rick Rubin.

Thank you for supporting this raw, stream of consciousness podcast! It’s “only” been one month and couldn’t tell you exactly where I’m headed, but I trust I’ll get there if I just keep going! Open, no pressure invitation to join me along the way!

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ One Month of Living in ResponseI celebrate one month of showing up for this podcast—raw, unfiltered, and consistent. For the first time in my life, I’ve stuck with a creative process this long. It’s not about perfection—it’s about presence, process, and practice.

2️⃣ Reclaiming the Word “Creative”I reflect on the belief I held for most of my life: that I wasn’t creative. I share how that belief formed, how it’s changed, and how I now see creativity as something inherently human—something I’ve always had, even when I didn’t name it.

3️⃣ Singing in Secret, Drawing Mandalas, and Childhood MagicFrom printing lyrics to Broadway shows, writing fan letters to fictional characters, and obsessively scrapbooking Peter Pan and Grease 2—I walk through the hidden threads of creativity that were always with me, even if I didn’t realize it.

4️⃣ Creativity Outside the LinesI explore how my narrow view of what “counts” as creative kept me from embracing the ways I was creating all along—through writing, Sims houses, wardrobe design, and make-believe. It didn’t look like “art,” but it was art.

5️⃣ Rick Rubin and the Permission to ShareA spontaneous reading from The Creative Act by Rick Rubin hits so deep. I reflect on the power of sharing our point of view—not to impress or persuade, but to reflect, to connect, and to honor where we are on our journey.

6️⃣ Is This Creative?I question whether this podcast counts as creative expression—and come to the conclusion that yes, it absolutely is. Speaking my truth, sharing my inner world, bringing something formless into form—that’s creation.

7️⃣ “The Personal Is the Universal”Inspired by Rick Rubin’s words, I reflect on how our personal truths often hold universal resonance. Even if our stories are unique, the feelings behind them are shared. That’s why art matters. That’s why your voice matters.

8️⃣ The Courage to Share a Point of ViewI talk about the fears that arise when I consider sharing my perspective, especially when it might not be “profound” or popular. I remind myself that it’s not about being right—it’s about being real.

9️⃣ Creators I Don’t Fully Agree With (And Why I Still Love Them)I share how some of my favorite creators aren’t ones I agree with—but ones who are courageously speaking their truth. Their honesty inspires me to do the same, even if it makes me a little shaky.

🔟 Critiquing the Echo ChamberI reflect on how parts of online spiritual and Human Design spaces started to feel repetitive—and how I’ve been drawn more and more to voices that sound different, taste different, and feel real.

1️⃣1️⃣ Creativity as My Life’s ArtI explore the idea that my life itself is my art. That how I move through the world, what I choose, how I feel, and how I share—all of it is creative. All of it matters. The process is the masterpiece.

1️⃣2️⃣ Discipline as DevotionI share how my view of “discipline” has shifted—from a punishing, forceful energy to something rooted in devotion. Showing up because I want to, not because I have to.

1️⃣3️⃣ Meaning, Metaphor, and Spiral GrowthI weave metaphors around life as a canvas, values as the paint, the body as the brush. I reflect on spiral growth, honoring contraction, and the paradox of wanting more while being present with what is.

1️⃣4️⃣ Creativity and My Wounded HealerI close with a reflection on Chiron in Leo (in my 4th house) and how it mirrors my creative wounds—of expression, safety, and being seen. Sharing this podcast feels like medicine. Like healing in real time.

Mentions & Resources:🎨 The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin🌀 Chiron in Leo – Wounded Healer in Creativity & Expression🧠 The Power of Perspective and Point of View🧘‍♀️ Discipline as Devotion | Healing through Creative Practice

So blessed to be in a state of learning and expansion and sending love and gratitude to all the seen and unseen forces and folks who are guiding and supporting me along the way <3

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 032 of Living in Response is about the most present challenge in my life - finding my purpose. Purpose not in the ultimate sense, but in the how can I have an impact/share/give back sense.

Thank you for sharing your time with this raw (unedited, unfiltered, unbounded), stream-of-consciousness experiment in sharing what’s on my heart, in real-time <3

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ I Talked for 45 Minutes… and Forgot to Hit RecordI start by laughing (and crying a little inside) about a classic podcaster moment: 45 minutes of deep soul reflection spoken into the void. But maybe it was just what I needed to hear—for me, from me.

2️⃣ My Purpose Is to Be MeI reflect on my deepest knowing: that my purpose is to live the most me life I can, to serve from that place, and to look back with as few regrets as possible. But I also admit how easy it is to spiral into “But what is it really??”

3️⃣ The Great Purpose ParadoxSome days, I feel so clear. Other days, I’m questioning everything. I unpack the tension between knowing that my spiritual path is lifelong and also wanting to know now what I’m here to offer, teach, or share.

4️⃣ The Dharma Coach Who Can’t Answer Her Own Dharma QuestionsI get real about the cosmic irony of being a certified life purpose coach while still wrestling with my own sense of direction. I talk about self-inquiry fatigue and the weird, empowering, maddening layers of finding clarity.

5️⃣ Inner Exploration as My True NorthI share what’s at the core of my life: inner exploration. Whether it’s meditation, energy work, breath, yoga nidra, or cannabis-supported spiritual practice—this is my ground, my home, my realest real.

6️⃣ The Vulnerability of Sharing What Matters MostI reflect on why it feels so vulnerable to share my personal practices—not because they’re secret, but because they matter that much. It’s not someone else’s method. It’s the soul of my own path, and that makes it sacred.

7️⃣ Frameworks vs. Lived ExperienceI talk about the difference between teaching something you learned in a certification and sharing something you’ve lived. And how, for me, lived experience always hits deeper—even if it feels riskier to share.

8️⃣ Not Everything Is for Everyone (and That’s Okay)I remind myself that resonance is personal. Some folks won’t vibe with what I share—and that doesn’t have to mean anything. I share how creators who boldly share their truth inspire me to keep doing it a little afraid.

9️⃣ Releasing the Fear of “Getting It Wrong”I explore how childhood experiences taught me to fear being wrong—and how I’m re-parenting that part of me by allowing B-minus work, embracing imperfection, and trusting that I’ll survive the cringe.

🔟 My Partner Started Meditating (and My Heart Melted)I share a proud, tender moment about my partner quietly beginning a meditation practice—and how he’s even started sharing it with others. Not because I told him to, but because something real is blooming on its own.

1️⃣1️⃣ Inspiration Fatigue & Creative PressureI get honest about how even the most well-meaning content about creativity and purpose can be overwhelming. I reflect on how easy it is to get lost in the sauce when you just want to find your own way through.

1️⃣2️⃣ Why I’ve Been Avoiding JournalingEven as a lifelong journaler, I talk about why writing hasn’t felt aligned lately—and how speaking my truth out loud has become a different kind of medicine. I consider responding to prompts not with pen, but with voice.

1️⃣3️⃣ The Process Is the PurposeI remind myself that this podcast isn’t a performance—it’s a practice. That the messy middle, the not-knowing, the existential spirals are the point. This is art. This is life. This is purpose, unfolding in real time.

1️⃣4️⃣ Certifications, Lived Experience & ReadinessI reflect on how the trainings I’m doing now (like yoga nidra + meditation) are landing differently because I’ve already lived the practices. I’m not chasing identity—I’m deepening something I already know is mine.

1️⃣5️⃣ Human Design, Gate 28, and the Game of MeaningI end with a nod to my design: conscious sun in Gate 28, the Gate of Purpose. Of course I’m here to dance with these questions. Of course I’m here to feel it all. This episode is a snapshot of that sacred game in motion.

Mentions & Resources:🌿 Yoga Nidra, Meditation, and Inner Exploration🌀 Cannabis-Supported Somatic Spiritual Practice📘 Dharma Coaching & Purpose Inquiry💫 Human Design: Gate 28 (The Great Game Player)🧘‍♀️ Interoception, Energy Work, and Embodied Wisdom

Feeling so blessed and so grateful for all of the incredible souls who I’ve had the honor of sharing time and space with. Deep gratitude for Source/God/life/the universe/all that is for the opportunity to experience this life, frustrations and all :)

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 031 of Living in Response is a result of having a mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically hard day today and staying devoted to the process even when there’s a million reasons not to.

Thanks for your support on this unedited, unfiltered, and unbounded first steps onto my creative path <3

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ I Didn't Want to Record (But I Did Anyway)I open up about why I almost skipped today’s episode—physical discomfort, tangled thoughts, and a heavy emotional cloud. But I chose to show up anyway, not from pressure, but from devotion to the process and my own body’s wisdom.

2️⃣ Pain, Puzzles, and My LiverAfter a recent ER visit and continued discomfort near my liver and gallbladder, I talk about the emotional toll of feeling physically unwell—how even with a thriving life, uncertainty in the body can rattle everything. I reflect on what it’s like to hold medical, energetic, and spiritual perspectives all at once.

3️⃣ Crying in My Partner’s LapSometimes, the only answer is a cry. I share how I broke down in my partner’s lap, not from sadness, but from sheer emotional saturation. There was no singular reason—just a flood of everything. And letting myself be held in that was healing.

4️⃣ The Inner Committee of ConfusionToday, my mind felt like a roundtable of voices arguing over what everything meant. I explore how my mental spiral made it hard to access clarity and how sometimes the most supportive thing isn’t “figuring it out,” but letting go of needing to.

5️⃣ Posting in a Spiritual Community (for the First Time)I reflect on my first vulnerable share in an online spiritual group, asking for perspective—not answers—on the layers I’m moving through. For the first time in a long time, I asked for help.

6️⃣ Astrology, Neptune, and the 12th House FogI unpack the transit of Neptune entering my 12th house and how it’s amplifying my sensitivity, confusion, and inner mystery. I talk about the Piscean mist, dream states, and how astrology reflects what’s already alive in my field. (I learned Astrology from The School of Living Astrology with Tyler Penor.)

7️⃣ Trying to Make Meaning (And Letting That Go)As someone who loves learning and living through frameworks, I found myself caught today between trying to assign meaning to my experience and realizing: maybe I don’t need to. Maybe it just is. Maybe the medicine is in the feeling, not the story.

8️⃣ The Relief of a Bath, a Cry, and a Rom-ComFrom watching A Cinderella Story to soaking in an Epsom salt bath, I share how small acts of care became turning points in my day. Sometimes, soothing the inner child is the most spiritual act of all.

9️⃣ Practicing What I Preach (Even on the Hard Days)Today was a chance to actually live the things I talk about—letting the body lead, moving through discomfort, and choosing gentleness. I didn’t bypass, I didn’t fix—I just lived it. And that, to me, is embodiment.

🔟 The Courage to Ask for HelpI reflect on how I wasn’t raised to ask for help—and how today I did it anyway. I talk about the generational and cultural barriers to support, and how reaching out to others (even imperfectly) is changing me.

1️⃣1️⃣ Spiritual Overload and Information FatigueAfter years of consuming spiritual tools, methods, and teachers, I’m feeling the effects of spiritual overstimulation. I share the challenge of integrating so many perspectives and how I’m learning to return to my own body as the final word.

1️⃣2️⃣ When the Body Doesn't Feel Good (and the Mind Spirals)I get real about how being in consistent discomfort has impacted my thoughts, emotions, and sense of purpose. I explore how chronic sensation can trigger existential loops—and how I'm slowly learning to interrupt that pattern with presence.

1️⃣3️⃣ Living My LogotherapyThrough it all, I ground in Viktor Frankl’s idea that meaning is always available—even in suffering. I reflect on how today’s practice wasn’t about escape, but about attitude. I chose not to resist what was, and that choice shifted everything.

1️⃣4️⃣ I Set the PaceI close with a reminder: I don’t need to rush through this process. I don’t need to perform joy. I set the pace. And today, that pace was slow, foggy, tender, and true.

Mentions & Resources:🌿 Viktor Frankl – Logotherapy / Man’s Search for Meaning🌀 Energy Work & Emotional Release📘 Astrology: Neptune in the 12th House✨ EFT Tapping 💫 The Power of Asking for Help🧘‍♀️ Epsom Salt Baths, Cozy Robes & Rom-Coms as Medicine

Deep gratitude for every part of the human experience, even the rough ones like today.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 030 of Living in Response is the product of an emotional day and an emotional realization that part of my purpose (at the moment) is to explore, cultivate, and deepen my relationship with myself as an energy being.

“We are spiritual beings having a spiritual experience on the physical end of the energy spectrum.” - Dr. Sue Morter

Thank you for supporting this raw (unedited, unfiltered, unbounded, unscripted), stream-of-consciousness podcast/exploration/experiment, from the depths of my scorpionic soul to yours.

originally available on Substack

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ Today, I Cried Three TimesI reflect on a deeply emotional day where tears came in waves—during meditation, in moments of clarity, and while feeling into my purpose (and also one time just because). Each cry was a release and a revelation, connected to community, comparison, and coming back to what’s true.

2️⃣ The Cost of Community (and Why It’s Worth It)I open up about how hard it’s been to show up in-person to community spaces as someone who grew up painfully shy and afraid to be seen. I talk about childhood wounds, social terror, and the courage it takes to walk into a room alone—and how it’s changing my life.

3️⃣ When Comparison Creeps In (And How I Transmute It)Being around incredible people who are living their truth lit a little fire in me—but also stirred up an old familiar ache of “Why not me?” I unpack the difference between sacred urgency and toxic striving, and how I’m using these moments as catalysts, not curses.

4️⃣ “Healing Is Not My Purpose”This realization came during meditation and cracked me open. After years in the self-help and spiritual world, I finally hit a wall with the idea that I need to fix myself before I can live fully. I talk about shifting from “what’s wrong with me” to “what’s right and whole.”

5️⃣ The Energy That I AmI trace the semi-long arc of remembering myself as energy—from childhood funeral experiences to college disconnection, to studying microbiology, to stumbling into Dr. Sue Morter’s work and realizing: my body is energy. My purpose now is to know that, live that, embody that.

6️⃣ Psychedelics, Interoception, and the Floodgates of FeelingI share how taking psychedelics helped me feel love for the first time in a long time—but also unleashed anxiety, panic, and overwhelm. I reflect on how those experiences awakened my interoceptive awareness, and how cannabis later became a gentle guide into my body.

7️⃣ Why Fixing Myself Was Never the PointI talk about the loop I got stuck in—constantly hunting for limiting beliefs, trying to heal every wound, and seeking the next tool. Now, I’m shifting into trust: maybe I’m already whole. Maybe embodiment is the point, not perfection.

8️⃣ Interoception: The Sense That Changed EverythingI break down what interoception is, why it matters, and how developing this sense helped me feel my energy in real time. I explore how this biological function—used for things like hunger, pain, and temperature—can also be a spiritual doorway into truth, intuition, and knowing.

9️⃣ From Science to Spirit (and Back Again)My background in microbiology weirdly prepared me for this spiritual path. I talk about how understanding my body scientifically gave me the safety I needed to explore energy work and made it all feel less “woo” and more embodied, real, and alive.

🔟 A Lifetime of Feeling Disconnected from CultureGrowing up in the U.S., I didn’t inherit a living philosophy of being. My family didn’t pass down spiritual practices or cultural rituals. Now I’m rebuilding from scratch—studying Tantra, yogic texts, indigenous teachings—and remembering who I am through ancient pathways.

1️⃣1️⃣ The Ball of Electricity (My Visual for Being Human)In meditation, I received a visual that’s been helping me understand who I am as energy: a bright, zig-zagging ball of electricity within a sea of Source. I share how this image is shaping how I understand trauma, healing, embodiment, and the soul’s journey.

1️⃣2️⃣ Learning to Live as an Energy BeingThis isn’t about spiritual performance—it’s about relationship. I talk about how I’m building trust with my own energy, not to bypass hard emotions but to move through them from a deeper, more grounded place inside myself.

1️⃣3️⃣ The Mic, the Meditation, and the Message That Made Me CryToday’s deepest cry came from one thought: what if we could help people remember what’s right with them instead of constantly pointing out what’s wrong? I reflect on how that truth moved through my body—and why it feels like the core of what I’m here to share.

1️⃣4️⃣ Deep Listening Is My Native LanguageI share how I’ve always felt into people’s words with my body, not just my mind—and how a recent workshop gave me language for that: deep listening. I talk about learning to trust the body’s response and speak from sensation instead of scripts.

1️⃣5️⃣ Exploring Energy Through Yoga, Tantra, and LineageI’m currently diving into yogic and tantric philosophy—not just as practices, but as ways of remembering. I share how I’m learning about goddesses as energy vortexes, and how these ancient teachings are helping me feel more grounded, less lost, and more like myself.

1️⃣6️⃣ Doing It a Little AfraidI end with a reflection on what’s allowing me to show up—even when it’s scary. It’s not because the fear is gone. It’s because I now have access to something deeper: a connection to Source, to energy, to love. That’s what makes this podcast, and my life right now, possible.

Mentions & Resources:not affiliated, just a fan🌿 The Energy Codes Dr. Sue Morter🌀 Sacred Cannabis & Interoception📘 Awakening Shakti by Sally Kempton✨ Song: “Healing Is Not My Purpose” Toni Jones🔍 Interoception Curriculum by Kelly Mahler🧘‍♀️ Neuro-Somatic Mindfulness by Fleet Maull💫 Embodied Energy Practices & Yogic Philosophy

Overflowing with love and gratitude for my life, even the messy bits.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 029 of Living in Response is rooted in yet another inspiring, motivating, healing, exciting, and mind-boggling community experience. The way I see it now is - the future we seek is actually here and now it’s up to us to cultivate it.

Thank you for witnessing this unedited, unfiltered, and unbounded journey into living a life fully in response to the physical sensations from my body (which are from my soul) <3

originally available on Substack

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI*

1️⃣ The World We Dream Of Is Already HereI reflect on a community cannabis meditation event celebrating the 3 year anniversary of Marijuana Meditations that made me realize: the future I’ve been yearning for isn’t something far away. It’s already here—in the spaces we choose to engage with, the people showing up authentically, and the grassroots communities being created in real-time.

2️⃣ Why I’m Redefining “Visionary” (Again)A few episodes ago, I spoke of visionaries as those urgently needed to shift the world. But after this weekend, I shift my definition. Visionaries aren’t just leading the way forward—they're cultivating the world that's already emerging, right here, right now.

3️⃣ Cannabis as a Conscious Ally in CommunityI share what it was like to participate in a sacred, intentional cannabis circle—how we honored the plant, set intentions, and created a powerful field of collective resonance. It felt like a new template for community: reverent, healing, grounded, and real.

4️⃣ We All Have a Role in the EcosystemThe event reminded me of a psychedelic vision I once had—a web of energy where everyone had a unique place. No one higher, no one lower. Just infinite expressions of the same life force. Community, like nature, is an ecosystem—and we each belong.

5️⃣ On Building Community While ShyI open up about how much fear I’ve had around showing up alone to events—and how much growth it’s taken to walk through those doors anyway. From childhood stories to Twilight metaphors (lol), I explain how I’m learning to be with fear without letting it run the show.

6️⃣ Community Doesn’t Build ItselfThis line dropped in recently—and it’s become a kind of personal mantra. If I want community, I have to choose it. I have to show up. This episode is about honoring the effort it takes to move toward connection, especially when it feels easier to stay home.

7️⃣ From Online Spaces to In-Person VibesI talk about the difference between online community (which served me deeply during COVID) and in-person experiences like this one. There’s something visceral, healing, and affirming about being in a room with people who are all showing up as themselves.

8️⃣ A Moment of Real-Time Self-CorrectionAt the end of the event, I told someone I was a data engineer—and immediately felt in my body that wasn’t the truth I wanted to lead with. When I added, “And I have a podcast,” everything shifted. I share what that taught me about embodiment, self-trust, and leading with what feels most alive.

9️⃣ The Courage to Be Messy (On the Mic + In Life)This podcast is an exercise in flow. I don’t know what I’m going to say. I shift perspectives mid-sentence. I circle back. I forget things. But that’s the point. That’s the practice. Showing up imperfectly is the practice.

🔟 What It Means to Be a Visionary at WorkI explore how being a “visionary” might apply to my current job as a data engineer in pet insurance (yep, really). Could there be a way to integrate energy awareness, pet wellness, and community care into the corporate space? This part gets juicy (AI wrote this last sentence but I’m leaving it because in hindsight, it did feel pretty juicy lol).

1️⃣1️⃣ Pets as Reflections of Our EnergyAfter a meditation download and a Google search rabbit hole, I talk about how our pets might mirror our emotional and energetic states. I explore how our lifestyles impact their health—and whether helping them might be another path to helping ourselves.

1️⃣2️⃣ Living Through the Body, Not the ScriptMore than anything, this episode is about shifting from a life of scripting and control to a life of flow. Where showing up, breathing, sensing, and expressing is enough. Where creativity, healing, and connection come naturally from being in your own energy.

Mentions & Resources🌿 Marijuana Meditations (Sacred Cannabis Use & Community)📘 Sacred Bliss: A Spiritual History of Cannabis by Mark Ferrara (book mentioned re: the history of cannabis) 🌀Article I mentioned about our pets being mirrors of our health by Daphne Miller💫 My Bluesky account (my most personal social media)💡 Visionary Redefined🧘‍♀️ Community as Ecosystem✨ Fear as the Price of Entry

Big shifts are happening all around and in me and I am beyond blessed and grateful for all my teachers and the ancestors who’s enduring wisdom helped me to reconnect with my Self and ultimately the Source.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 028 of Living in Response is a further opening into something I deeply desire to share about (spirituality) but am still very much in the process of allowing the words to naturally surface.

This unedited, unfiltered, RAW, podcast / exploration in speaking / audio journal is less and advice and all perspective. Thanks for joining the unfolding <3

Also, I was really excited to mention but forgot (lol) that today as I was practicing seeing the aura around my hands I saw blue and a little bit of a yellow-green!! Wild!!!!

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ A Slow Saturday, Chi Gong, and a Shift in EnergyI begin the episode sharing the simplicity of my morning—doing laundry, and finally returning to a Chi Gong practice I hadn’t touched in weeks. The difference this time? It wasn’t from discipline or “should,” but from something deeper: a genuine call from within.

2️⃣ What Happens When the Practice Finds You AgainChi Gong found me last night as a quiet thought in bed—and this morning, I followed it. I share how powerful it is when a practice returns not from obligation, but from resonance. When the body says, “yes, that.”

3️⃣ What Embodiment Really Means (To Me)I go into the weeds—gently—about my own working definition of embodiment. Not just being “in” the body, but living from within it. Feeling life from the inside. Existing from the awareness that we are not just our thoughts or bodies—but the one observing both.

4️⃣ My Soul Lives in the Core of My BodyInspired by Eastern philosophies and personal practice, I share how I see the soul as the core presence within—the perceiver of my mind and body. This view has helped me unlock creativity, speak more freely, and shift from pressure to presence.

5️⃣ The Diagnosis That Changed My LifeI reflect on receiving a pre-diabetes diagnosis in college—a moment that shook me awake. I describe how this was the starting point of a deep wellness journey, not just physical but spiritual, emotional, and existential.

6️⃣ From Survival to Self-InquiryThose early changes—like walking more, eating better, and getting curious about yoga—weren’t about becoming “better.” They were about survival at first. But soon, they became doorways into something much deeper: Who am I really? What else is there?

7️⃣ The Start of a Spiritual AwakeningCOVID lockdowns created space. That stillness led to new questions. And new questions led to an avalanche of spiritual exploration: astrology, Human Design, tarot, feminine mystery schools, and eastern philosophies.

8️⃣ Trying on Paths to Find My DharmaI walk you through the spiritual paths I tried on—life coaching, Akashic Records, astrology mentorship—and how each time I thought “this is it,” until it wasn’t. I speak to the disillusionment, but also the gratitude. Each one taught me something.

9️⃣ When the Body Is the Only Compass That WorksAfter trying to figure it all out with my mind, I started realizing: clarity doesn’t come from thinking. It comes from feeling. I share how tuning into physical resonance has become my most trustworthy way of discerning direction and purpose.

🔟 A Gentle Callout of Internet SpiritualityI share the quiet tension I’ve felt between my embodied experience of spirituality and the monetized, trend-based versions that often circulate online. No shaming, just naming the difference between something that feels sacred vs. something that feels... packaged.

1️⃣1️⃣ Why “You Have to Fix Yourself First” Doesn’t Land for MeI speak honestly about the fatigue that comes from always trying to “clear blocks” or “heal more” before you’re allowed to move forward. I name the sneaky spiritual gaslighting that keeps people stuck in an endless self-improvement loop.

1️⃣2️⃣ Healing Can Happen As You Move ForwardI reflect on how I’m learning to trust that growth and healing can happen simultaneously. I don’t need to wait until I’m fully “ready” to create, speak, or show up. Movement is part of the medicine.

1️⃣3️⃣ The Role of Emotion, Energy, and InteroceptionI share insights from my work with EFT and cannabis-assisted emotional release: how emotions are sensations, and how interceptive awareness (feeling from within) can shift everything. Feeling, not fixing, is often the path forward.

1️⃣4️⃣ Creativity Is a Natural Byproduct of EmbodimentI talk about how my creative energy started flowing again—not from planning, pushing, or scripting—but from living deeper in my body. The more I feel my aliveness, the more I naturally want to share and express.

1️⃣5️⃣ What Consistency Looks Like (When the Body Leads)I redefine consistency on my own terms. I don’t force myself to show up the same way every day. I let my body lead. Some days that means a full yoga practice, other days it’s a gentle floor stretch. Same values, different expressions.

1️⃣6️⃣ Following Curiosity Without Needing to Justify ItWhether I’m wandering through a grocery store or rearranging my home, I talk about how I’m letting my body move me. I’m living more like a spiral than a straight line—and the results feel more aligned and alive.

1️⃣7️⃣ The Irony of Loving Questions with No AnswersAs a former perfectionist, it’s wild to realize I now spend most of my time with questions that have no answers: Why are we here? What is life? What is spirit? But these unknowable questions have become my most trusted companions.

1️⃣8️⃣ The Inner World Isn’t a Side Practice—It’s the Main ThingI close by sharing how the practices I used to do “on the side” are now the foundation of my life. Interoception, breathwork, soul inquiry—this is no longer something I do to “get better.” It’s a way of being.

Mentions & Resources🌿 Chi Gong & The 18 Forms (via Commune)📘 The Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter🌀 Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)💫 Cannabis-Assisted Somatic Work💡 Logotherapy (Viktor Frankl – forward-focused existential therapy)🧘‍♀️ Interoception, Embodiment & Creative Living📚 Astrology, Human Design, Dharma Inquiry✨ Consistency as Devotion, Not Discipline

Feeling really close to my grandma today, so thank you grandma for all your love and support because I am nearly certain I would not have made it to 32 without you!

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 027 of Living in Response is dedicated to all of us who are making the shift into creation and to all of us who feel another way of living is not only possible, it’s already here. I see you.

“A visionary is someone who is playing a role in creating a sustainable, loving, meaningful, connected, and embodied future for humanity in a way that only they can.” - Belle

This podcast in particular has moments of experiencing “blocks” in real time.

This podcast is raw an unfiltered for a reason - because life is raw an unfiltered and it’s the moments when I want to stop but don’t that add up into a purpose driven life.

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ What It Really Means to Be a VisionaryThe word “visionary” has been circling my field for weeks—and this past weekend, it landed in a big way. I reflect on how I often think of visionaries as world-changers, and I now see them everywhere: in artists, healers, and helpers who are simply living their truth and shaping the future through presence.

2️⃣ Visionaries Are Guiding Us Toward a Different FutureI share how this past weekend reminded me that people doing their thing—following what feels right and alive—are shifting the direction of humanity. Whether the ripple is small or massive, it matters. Especially now, when the current path isn’t sustainable, which isn’t meant to be alarming just an observation.

3️⃣ A Vision for Interoceptive LivingI read from a recent post where I shared my vision of a world led by interoceptive awareness—our inner sense of what’s true. I talk about how our bodies hold ancient wisdom, and why the integration of inner and outer attention might be the key to meaningful change.

4️⃣ I See Patterns EverywhereFrom my gifted kid puzzle-solving days to now, I’ve always seen patterns. I talk about how these patterns help me believe in “other ways” to do things—especially in how we heal, grow, and create.

5️⃣ The Feeling of Being Spirit-Led (And Why I Don’t Always Say It)In real time, I hit a block. My body said no to a topic I was trying to force. So I paused, tracked the feeling, and let the moment guide me. It became a live experience of embodiment and surrender. [I’m doing this in real-time ya’ll!]

6️⃣ Visionaries Exist at Every StageI explore the “pre-visionary” space—the time before we fully step into our work. Many of us (myself included) know we have something to say, but we’re still learning to trust it. That space deserves reverence.

7️⃣ Why I No Longer Try to Fix Myself FirstI talk about moving away from the constant search for blocks and limiting beliefs. Years of programs left me exhausted. I started wondering: what if healing didn’t have to begin with finding what’s wrong?

8️⃣ Creativity as a Birth ProcessI compare creative expression to birth: pushing too hard too soon can do more harm than good. My process now is about allowing ideas to emerge naturally, without trying to force clarity or readiness.

9️⃣ EFT, Energy Work & the Wisdom of FeelingI reflect on what stuck with me during EFT training: the words don’t matter as much as the feeling. That shifted how I see all modalities—it’s not about what we say, it’s about what we feel while saying it.

🔟 The Inner World Is Not Just a Practice—It’s a Way of LifeI describe how my connection to the inner world—through interoception, meditation, and breathwork—is not a tool I use. It’s a philosophy. A way of living.

1️⃣1️⃣ The Energy Body Is Real (And I’ve Felt It)I’ve had experiences of perceiving my energy body—of seeing and feeling energy move through me. Sometimes aided by cannabis, often not. These moments changed everything. They made embodiment real.

1️⃣2️⃣ Breathwork as a Portal to the Inner LandscapeI talk about how slowing down my breath, sometimes to two-minute cycles (guesstimate, I’m not counting I just know I’ve surprised myself lol), creates space for deeper interoception. My experience isn’t just meditative—it’s electric, alive, and grounding.

1️⃣3️⃣ Being Embodied Means Being Inside My AwarenessI attempt to define embodiment: not just “in your body,” but literally inside your awareness. I describe what it’s like to feel life from the center of my head and body—versus from outside looking in.

1️⃣4️⃣ We Are All Energy—And That Changes How I LiveThis awareness has shifted how I see myself, others, and the world. I believe the inner world holds the resources—spiritual and otherwise—that we need to live more fully, more authentically, and more creatively.

1️⃣5️⃣ Why Inner Exploration Might Be the Missing PieceRather than chasing mindset shifts or belief rewiring, I now lean into what’s alive in my body. I share how this gentle, embodied approach has helped me show up more consistently—and feel more like myself.

1️⃣6️⃣ A New Segment: Visionary Conversations Are ComingI’m starting a new interview series with visionary folks—people living their truth, creating change, and holding the thread of a better future. I want to hear about their ideas, their philosophies, and the messy middle that got them there.

Mentions & Resources🌿 Interoception & Inner Awareness📘 The Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter🌀 Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)💡 Visionary Weekend🍃 Cannabis as a Sacred Ally🧠 Inner World Exploration as Lifestyle, not Hack✨ Upcoming Interview Series with Visionary Creatives

Endless gratitude and love to all the people who have knowingly and unknowingly supported my journey.

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 026 of Living in Response is a bit of a portal into my relationship with spirituality and my Self, something that’s been asking for life lately. Plus a sample into my Personal perspectives on social media spirituality and “fix-it” self-help type programs.

This raw, unedited, unfiltered, and unbounded podcast is the product of coming back into relationship with the energy that I am, which has enabled me to do it afraid, uncertain, uncharted, and without any real agenda other than, “don’t stop” and “be myself.”

title quote by Dr. Sue Morter

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ Why I Missed a Day for the First TimeFor the first time in 24 episodes, I didn’t record yesterday—because I was in the ER with intense, unexplained pain. I reflect on what happened, how it unfolded, and what thoughts it provoked in me. (I’m okay!)

2️⃣ Listening to My Body vs. Pushing ThroughI talk about choosing to do energy work before heading to the ER, and how I reached a point where I had to hand things over to modern medicine (which is still energy work, as I have learned from Cindy Dale’s book). I believe both energy healing and allopathic treatment can coexist—they're all energy medicine in different forms.

3️⃣ Energetic Expansion Can Trigger Physical SymptomsThe days leading up to the ER visit, I had experienced huge energetic openings—both at a visionary weekend and after joining a tantric meditation community. I explore the idea that clearing energy sometimes needs to move through the body and can feel intense. (I’m still seeing my PCP to check in, don’t worry!)

4️⃣ Discovering True Tantra (Not Just the Sex Stuff)I share how learning from a traditional Indian tantra lineage opened me to deeper divine feminine energy and embodiment work—far beyond the Westernized version of tantra I’d previously assumed.

5️⃣ Spiritual Authenticity in a World of Appropriation & CapitalismI unpack my complex relationship with mainstream spirituality—especially the appropriation, bypassing, and spiritual capitalism I’ve witnessed—and why I’m learning to trust my own discernment.

6️⃣ Holding Paradox & Respecting Other ViewsI reflect on how I’ve always seen many sides of things—and how I hold space for different perspectives even when I don’t fully agree. I believe this nuance is essential on the spiritual path.

7️⃣ Our Disconnection from the SoulI share why I think the real crisis is not too much spirituality—it’s too little. We've forgotten that we are souls, and I draw on Viktor Frankl’s idea of the “noös” to explore this deeper layer of being.

8️⃣ Spirituality Is in the BodyInstead of seeking the cosmos, I’ve been turning inward—tracking sensations along my spine, feeling into my shushumna (central channel along my spine), and developing interoception. That’s where my soul speaks to me through my body.

9️⃣ How My Life Has Changed Through FeelingBecoming more aware of how things feel in my body has naturally shifted my behavior—from how I eat to how I treat the earth. It’s not about forcing—it’s about feeling.

🔟 Why I’m Reconsidering Self-Help ProgramsAfter $30K+ in programs, I’m seeing the same pattern: some people transform, and some stay stuck. I wonder if constantly clearing beliefs isn’t always the answer—maybe what’s needed is a deeper return to self.

1️⃣1️⃣ The Power of Slow Somatic PracticeMy body-based practice of slowly tracking sensations along my spine (especially when I can’t feel) has become foundational. This isn’t just a technique—it’s my lifeline to the present moment and my inner truth.

1️⃣2️⃣ Creativity Through Core AuthenticityI talk about how living from my core energy—not just my thoughts—fuels my creativity and helps me say what I actually mean, especially around spirituality.

1️⃣3️⃣ Feeling It Is the Way Through ItInstead of trying to fix or rewire everything, I’m choosing to feel what’s there, follow it, and let it move. It’s not bypass—it’s presence.

Mentions & Resourcesnot affiliated, just a fan📚 Book: Energy Medicine author Cindy Dale📘 Book: The Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter🌀 Viktor Frankl’s concept of the noös🌱 Traditional tantra (non-sexual lineage)🛠️ ScreenZen app for mindful Instagram use

Thank you for being part of my exploration of things unseen <3

Mystically,

Belle

Episode 025 of Living in Response is an unfolding of a love-hate relationship with Human Design, how I actually started living into my design naturally and of course oodles of nuggets about my deepest love in life - interoception.

Thank you so much for tuning in to this unfiltered, unedited, and unbounded exploration in, “you don’t have to have it all figured out, you just have to start.”

Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI

1️⃣ My Complex Relationship with Human DesignI hesitated to label this a Human Design episode because I wanted to stay true to what’s alive in the moment—but Human Design kept surfacing, so here we are.I share my early obsession with the system, the certifications, the countless free readings, and how I tried to force my life into my chart instead of letting it unfold naturally.

2️⃣ Burnout from Spiritual Modality-HoppingDuring the early stages of my spiritual awakening, I dove into the Akashic Records, astrology, and Human Design with an “this is my purpose” intensity.I did so many free sessions but couldn’t bring myself to charge for them.Eventually, I hit a wall and had to step back from it all—including Human Design.

3️⃣ The Turning Point: Discovering Embodiment WorkAfter a surrender moment in 2023, I found The Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter (a book I sort of recommend.)That book shifted everything—it grounded energy work into my body.I realized embodiment is a lifestyle, and interoception (the ability to feel internal sensations) was the missing piece.

4️⃣ Why Interoception Changed EverythingBefore developing my interoception, I was constantly overthinking my strategy and authority.Once I started feeling what was going on inside me, I naturally started living my design.I stopped asking “Is this a sacral response?” and started trusting what felt true.

5️⃣ From Overthinking to FlowI learned that when I’m thinking about my sacral response, I’ve already drowned it out.Now I follow what I feel pulled toward—even if I can’t name what I’m responding to.Cleaning my apartment in silence has become a literal practice in sacral response.

6️⃣ The Trap of Trying to Fit Myself Into My ChartI used to try to mold my career or offerings around my channels (Alpha, Struggle, Awakening), which led to confusion and burnout.Now I just live and let the chart reflect back to me what’s unfolding.

7️⃣ Understanding My Innocence Motivation + Personal PerspectiveThis podcast is an expression of my Innocence Motivation—no agenda, just sharing for the sake of sharing.My Personal Perspective means I speak from my experience, not to fix or teach, just to express and explore.

8️⃣ Why Interoception Is Foundational to Human DesignHuman Design assumes embodiment, but most people aren’t actually embodied.I believe interoception is a biological prerequisite for living one’s design—and possibly key to the future of human well-being.

9️⃣ Cannabis & Energetic PerceptionCannabis has been a powerful ally in helping me feel my body more clearly and connect with subtle energies.It enhances interoception and supports emotional processing, making it an incredible tool when used intentionally.

🔟 Letting Life Reflect the ChartI no longer use Human Design to try and make something happen.Instead, I live my life, and when I zoom out, I see my chart reflected in the way things naturally unfold.

Mentions & Resources📘 Book: The Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter🌀 Human Design Certification: DayLuna💡 Interoception Work: Inspired by lived experience + supported by resources like Kelly Mahler🌿 Cannabis: Used intentionally for interoceptive clarity and emotional release🧠 AI Support: ChatGPT (with full acknowledgment of ethical/environmental complexities)

I wouldn’t be here today without my ancestors and I wouldn’t have any of this information or lived experience without the help and support of my teachers and their teachers, so many thanks to all of them and to YOU for supporting my journey!

My comments are always open :)

Mystically,

Belle