In this episode, I answer your questions and concerns regarding your baby's birthday. I also give perspective on the difference in Brody's 1st Birthday and his 2nd that we just experienced yesterday. Along with all of this, I read to you some examples of what other parents do on their baby's birthday to help give you some ideas or to help normalize what you'd like to or are already doing.

It's a tough topic, and it's not easy being a parent to a dead child. We are doing our absolute best. I hope this episode sheds some light on the subject and helps guide you through the 1st, 2nd or whatever year it is if you need some insight.

Hit me up on IG! @thekatherinelazar

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

At the request of many, Liz and I created this short episode to share with those in your circle. We answer your Instagram submissions on what you want others to know. So many times support people just have no idea how to navigate this and in the thick of grief, loss parents don't have the words to tell them. Well, we hope that this episode can be shared with those that are looking for ways to help or maybe a guide on what NOT to do.

Loss Parents, this is also a great episode to help validate how you're feeling in response to how others are treating the death of your baby. We are here to help you realize you are not alone in how you feel and maybe suggest some ways that you can give to those around you that would better help.

Support people are our lifeline during the darkest times a human can experience. So if you are a support person, thank you for even listening to try to help. We can't do it without good support and love.

Liz and I are brutally honest and we of course are only speaking from our own opinions and experiences. Not speaking for everyone out there. In the 100s of conversations I've had with loss parents, I can tell you that these are the most popular things that they want support people to know.

We hope it helps!

Hit up Liz on Instagram @lizmyers19 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Liz (from episode 1 and 30) is back to discuss this taboo topic of "Gender Disappointment" during PAL. This is a topic we get asked about A LOT. Now, I don't love this phrase but it's general and we understand what it means without further explanation. I'd like to say it's more like Gender Processing because there's definitely a reaction to having the opposite sex of the baby you lost. We dive into the dark, the ugly, the things we only say to each other. Grief is a big topic we discuss as well as how we handled PAL. We LOVE our babies, however, there are moments that we have to process not having the "picture" we always thought we had.

We are open and honest about this and we hope it helps. This is REAL TALK, mommas!

Hit up Liz on IG @lizmyers19 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Amanda Louder is a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach who helps men & women overcome their obstacles to create a more emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically intimate relationship.  She speaks from her own Christian faith lens for those who want to involve their Christianity in their coaching. 

We discuss a topic that I feel doesn't get addressed: Intimacy after loss and the challenges it brings including TTC after loss. Amanda is also the host of the Sex for Saints Podcast where she discusses literally everything she possibly can regarding sex coaching.

We talk about it ALL. Nothing was off the table. Everything from hating our bodies after it was supposed to take care of our babies, to how trauma affects our libido, to becoming consumed with wanting to get pregnant again ASAP, to communicating how we feel to our partners and finally, how to reconnect with them. 

Amanda is gentle and kind in her approach and has helped so many people regain their intimacy after their baby died.  She provides a safe space to discuss this vulnerable topic. Y'all will learn SO much from this episode! So interesting!

If you'd like to get in touch with Amanda, find her on Instagram and mention this podcast episode! @christiansexcoach 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

You asked and I'm answering! Y'all submitted questions and topics on Instagram and here's what I'm covering in this episode:

• New Years resolutions are sh*t now.
• Not setting goals and making plans much anymore
• How conversations with Loss Moms are soooo different than non loss
• My downloadable survival guides coming soon!
• I go off on a leaf blower tangent

Answering your questions:

• “Getting past caring how other feel when I include my son on my holiday card”
• “Parenting after loss: thought the holidays would be easier after having more kids, it’s only become worse grief wise. Getting more sad and angry every year realizing what my baby and I missed out on.“
• “Health and Anxiety after loss”
• “How does life after loss (or you after loss) feel different and yet the same?”
• “How to deal with shitty family who didn’t support you during loss and much more”
• “How to manage feelings about due date”
• “How to face another year”
• “How infertility impacts TTC after loss”
• “How to advocate for yourself in PAL following a stillbirth”
• “How the fuck anyone survives pregnancy after traumatic loss”
• “7 weeks and haven’t told anyone because don’t want to hear about 'Gods plan'"
• Terrified to go to the doc, new MFM and now I know too much.”

I hope your holidays are everything that you need them to be! Protect your peace, include your baby and don't take sh*t from anyone. Also hit me up, I'll be boozin :)

Follow me on the IG! @thekatherinelazar 

I mentioned Molly Bears! https://mollybears.org/

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

This momma's beautiful daughter was stillborn in 1985. Her perspective ranges over 40 years and she gives insight on what she did and didn't do over the years. We talk about shame behind stillbirth, fear of telling people about them, bringing them through the years and trying to honor them privately.

This is incredible insight from a momma who has done this for decades. If you are a momma who lost years ago, please reach out to her. She is looking to now talk about Sabrina more, help others in this situation, and talk to mommas who may struggle with their grief so long after.

Email Jeanette at [email protected]

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Brody's dad, my husband Michael is back to answer questions that we polled from Instagram. This is the perspective of a loss dad and you will hear our back and forth regarding how differently we feel and think in grief, coping, PAL and parenting after loss.  Michael also has 3 other episodes: one right after Brody's death, one about TTC and PAL, and the most recent is about holidays after loss. Check them out!

Here are the questions the audience asked and we answered:

• How do you stay strong for Katherine when you feel like you’re struggling too?
• Do you ever have any weak moments in grief that you don't tell Katherine?
• When you have heavy grief moments, how did you deal with it?
• What is the most helpful thing that your wife did for you?
• How did you support Katherine during PAL?
• What was PAL like for the Loss Dad?
• What was helpful during PAL?
• Dad’s perspective of the birth of the second baby?
• Meaningful but useful gifts for Loss Dads?

If you want to reach out to Michael, find him on Instagram at: @lazar.michael 

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Casey tells us about her beautiful daughter, Charlotte, who was stillborn at 39 weeks from what she feels was a failed induction. She walked into the hospital with a perfectly healthy baby, was heavily monitored but ended up leaving  heartbroken without her daughter. It’s been over 2 years and Casey now hopes to find other loss moms that share her experience of losing her daughter during labor. If you are a momma that has a similar story, please reach out to Casey.

We also discuss:

• Trust in our medical professionals
• The dangers of induction & what we need to be told
• Getting properly informed of ALL risks when having to make decisions
• Having a perfect pregnancy after loss
• Conflicted about God and his involvement
• And a lot more...

You can find Casey on Instagram @Caseyhl21

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! We are real loss moms telling our FACTS regarding our losses. This isn't to bash anyone, to scare or or lose trust in medical care or deter anyone from decisions they have to make. These are just our stories and we are telling it because it's our life. We wish someone had told us their story. Maybe it would have changed things for us. Take what you want from it and ALWAYS do your own homework. 

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

I figured today was heavy for a lot of us so I asked Andrea, Terra's Mom, from episode 59 to hop on a quick recording with like 2 hours notice. I scrapped my whole plan for this week and just wanted a conversation that might be entertaining for those who may need it. We do cover baby death as we both had full term stillbirths and miss our babies tremendously but we have given ourselves "permission" to laugh if we need to. And we hope you can do the same. Take care of yourselves today, Mommas. Know we are always here for you...

We answer:

• How has your family reacted to your dark humor when it comes to baby loss?
• How do you cut out toxic people?
• How do you handle your partner who is so thankful you're alive but you really don't feel like you are?
• What's your coping vice?

We also talk about:

• Gratitude and Grief at the same time
• Holidays and having no expectations
• The expectations put on us
• Going to PTO meetings when grieving
• Explaining yourself for the way you are after loss
• Laughing as opposed to crying
• How much this is horrible but we are allowed to do this however we want
• Laughing is OK

Follow Andrea @grievinglikeamother and show her support by shopping her store @thegriefcloset

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Brody's Dad, my husband Michael is back in the studio with me to discuss the upcoming holidays. This is the second holiday season after loss for us and we discuss how different they are from last year's. Michael and I are very different, even in our style of communicating. So this is helpful for those that want to maybe get a glimpse of what their partner may be thinking.

What else we discuss:

• Triggers around the holidays
• Relatives that are insensitive to your loss
• Traditions that include your baby
• Having a living child this year
• Being envious of blissfully ignorant pregnancies
• Him being hyper vigilant with my feelings around the holidays
• Giving pregnant strangers advice
• Having a less than perfect life as a parent vs others
• And a lot more...

This is a candid interview between a married couple. It is our views and ours only. We do not mean to treat or diagnose anyone. We are simply sharing our thoughts and experiences to help you navigate life after baby death.

Follow Michael on Instagram: @lazar.michael

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/